Does GOD know that I am in a somewhat unhappy marriage, in that we have nothing in common with each other????

Question

Me and my wife, pretty much don't have anything in common with each other. Everything, that I enjoy out of life in general with my heart she hates and everything that she enjoys out of her own life, I pretty much dislike. So we are basically contradicting each other all the time.

mtnhotte How in the world am I suppose to write to you???

Answer 1

Of course God knows (and yes, He cares), but the real question is have you trusted in Him enough to make your marriage work? If you're going to ask such a deep question, you need to look at it from all points of view. You are so absorbed in your own unhappiness that you aren't seeing the whole picture. I'm not saying this as an attack, so please don't take this the wrong way.

Have you tried to see your relationship in a different light? What you see as contradicting could actually be a relationship that compliments the two of you. My husband and I are complete opposites too, but his outgoing personality compliments my shyness and my meticulous attention to details compliments his laid back nature. Being opposite of each other doesn't have to be a bad thing. It's all in the eyes of the beholder.

You made the vow to your wife to love her for better or worse and now is the time to hold true to that vow. Marriage is a covenant between you and your wife in the presence of God, but He never promised a perfect marriage, nor did He promise marital bliss after the honeymoon ends. Your idea of marriage is different from God's, which could be why you are so unhappy. In society, the expectation of marriage is so high that anytime it isn't met, we do what comes naturally to us...run the other direction. It's the fight or flight response. It's no wonder divorce is so popular. When the going gets tough, the tough gets...packing. Right? It doesn't have to be that way.

Have you considered your wife's feelings in all this? What if she was truly happy with you...would you have the heart to take that all away from her for the sake of your own happiness? When the two of you said I do, your wife's happiness became as important as your own and vice versa. You're no longer living for yourselves, but rather for each other. Puts things in a different perspective, doesn't it? It's up to you to decide whether your marriage is worth saving and then doing something about it. I sincerely hope you make the right choice. Good luck.

Answer 2

Well, if you believe in God, then you know he knows because scripture tells us He knows all.

If you don't believe in God ... then well, you get my meaning.

Me and my ex-husband were complete opposites on many levels. It didn't work for us; I often wondered why God would have had us come to together. The only answers I came up with were:

1. so that our daughter could be born into this world, which we did successfully and we both love her very much; and

2. so that we could be an example of how two very different people can help one another and live and stay together despite their differences; I believe I failed at that one in God's eyes and teachings - though, after a few years now divorced, the ex and I make better friends than we ever did make as lovers and husband and wife.

Don't know what got you two together in the first place; me, I went into marriage much too fast and ignored the signs that he wasn't a good match for me. It was a mistake that ended up costing all of us in some way when we ended up divorcing.

So yeah, you know you don't have much in common; the questions is what can or will you do about it.

Answer 3

I watched a comedian the other night and he had a bit about this.

Not that I think your situation is a laughing matter, but you do realize Albert Einstein divorced his wife? This is arguably the smartest person ever and he divorced his wife.

Are you smarter than Einstein?

Seriously, though. If you are having problems, maybe God is not the only person who can answer your question. Have you spoken to your wife?

What made you marry her in the first place? I'm sure you had plenty in common then. It is not uncommon for people to grow apart over the years and pick up different likes and dislikes.

I think you should be approaching her with this. Chances are she is feeling the same things you are. With a bit of talking and understanding, you can get back to a common place.

Believe it or not, you DON'T have to like the same things she does and vice versa. You are one in marrigae, but still individuals.

Good Luck!!

Answer 4

How long have you been married? When did you discover that you have nothing in common with your wife? Are you sure that is the real problem, or have you both just both fallen into a routine and become bored.
If you believe in God, then you know he cares, but is up to you and your wife to improve your marriage. What attracted you to each other in the first place... what interests did you share?
Discover those things together all over again.

Answer 5

God knows, and he is listening. He sees your heart ache and is there in your darkest moments.

As much as God loves you, he also wants you to take action. This is the time to pick yourself up and do something to change the dead end road you are going down. Sometimes we have to hit bottom before we pick ourselves up and decide that this cannot continue "as is".

Your marriage is dying and it is time to send out the call for help. You need to revive it. You need to seek outside help. A counselor, a pastor, or a priest. You need to go find your wedding album and sit down with it and remember. Remember WHY you married this lovely lady. Remember how beautiful she was that day, and how you were so in love.

You owe it to yourself and your wife to do everything possible to bring yourselves back to each other. What if your wife died tomorrow? What would you regret? What would you miss about her? Well, that is what you love about her.

I assume if you posted this question on here, you must still care. So keep going. You can only go up from here.

Answer 6

God does know the heart of every individual. My husband and I enjoy totally different things! What I like, he doesn't care for and vice versa BUT the difference between us and you and your wife is that irregardless of our differences, we compromise and we FIND things similar to enjoy...marriage is a give and take, sometimes you find you'll be the one giving more at times and other times you wife does more of the giving...it takes patience and work to make things work if you really want it to...don't harbor so much on the differences you have, try to find the similarities and enjoy those moments even if they're tiny and may seem insinificant to you at the time....

Answer 7

At one time you had something in common or you wouldn't have gotten married.

Pray about your situation and find a new hobby that interests both of you, say maybe wine-making or collecting old Coke memorbilia.

You can't look at the situation as "glass half empty" or your marriage is going to fail. You need to start approaching the days with her enthusiastically. She will be pessimistic probably for awhile, but hopefully she'll start being more optimistic with you and things overall will improve.

Answer 8

So why did you get married in the first place? Sure God knows that -- He also knows that you should not have gotten married in the first place.

So it sounds like you want to get a divorce, but feel it is a sin -- you are right, it is a sin.

You have two choices -- either get a divorce and deal with the guilt of sin and giving up, or work at your relationship -- communicate -- try to find some common interests. You must have had something you like the same at one point.

Answer 9

I don't think God knows, or even really cares to tell you the truth.

We're given a gift when we come into this world. We weren't put her to be miserable, or to be a failure, but, it's up to US not GOD to ensure that.

Try giving a little of yourself to your wife...you might just be pleasantly surprised at the results. If you don't have anything in common anymore FIND something or invent it. Do something SHE wants to do from time to time, even if you HATE it....it's called being a partner and a friend to her.

What we give of ourselves to others comes back. You give allot of crap.....expect it in return...you give kindness and understanding, you'll have a happier life and marriage.

Answer 10

Opposites attract: Imagine how bored it would be if your wife enjoyed all the same things?

I believe that you 2 are using your differences as an excuse. You don't want to give in to her interests because you're fearful she won't be as interested in yours and vice-versa.

I suggest you both agree with something small and compromise. Decide that one day, you will do something she likes, and the next day you guys do something you like.

When situations like this arise it's mainly due to fear of you, your ideas, etc. being rejected. "start small" and compromise.