Okay. So my married male friend of 10 years asked me to participate in a swingers thing with him. This guy is happily married with a wife who is as naughty as he wants her to be. He just wants variety. Now, I was friends with his wife (we lost touch), and was in their wedding party. Obviously I won't do it, but I ask the question: is this normal behaviour for a happy, sexually satisfied male? And does this mean he does not respect me to be asking me to do such a thing with him? (no, he wasn't asking to sleep with me... he just needed to be part of a pair, and his wife would have kicked his @ss).
2007-09-07 15:17:28 · 27 answers · asked by babeedoll_05 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think its normal for a happy, sexually satisfied male to want to have sex with other women. I think it's part of the way we are programmed. We have a physical urge.
I do not think it's normal for a happy, sexually satisfied male to act upon that urge. Without trying to sound like a prude, I think too many men (and women) lack the self-discipline they need to help preserve their relationship with a significant other.
If I have an urge to urinate, is it appropriate for me to do so wherever and whenever I please, claiming "I had the urge to go."? Of course it isn't. In the same way, just because I may have an urge to have sex with a woman who is not my wife, I need to have the discipline to say "That is wrong. You would hurt too many people. You made a promise to your spouse" or whatever else I may think.
I don't think your friend was disrespecting you. I think he saw an opportunity to politely ask you for sex. I suppose in a way its a compliment. Just graciously say, "No, thanks" and be on your way.
2007-09-07 15:31:42 · answer #1 · answered by Pythagoras 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will have to ignore most all of the answers that I have read so far. People that are unfamiliar with the swinging lifestyle don't understand. First, although his wife will be naughty, does she swing with him? Are they both swingers? If she is a swinger, why can't she go with him? Will she be out of town on business or is she pregnant? Talk with him about why you instead of her BEFORE you talk to her. You might be surprised to find out she WOULD be okay with you going with him if she is a swinger too. This is not necessarily a respect issue. There may be another reason she can't go with him but USUALLY when this happens, the wife will ask a friend to accompany him to a social event. Most swingers events are couples and women. Single/unaccompanied men are kept at a minimum. If you find out that the wife is not a swinger, then you might have to decide whether you need to tell her about his invitation or not. You certainly need more details about this situation than you wrote in your question.
2007-09-07 17:58:15 · answer #2 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're asking if a swinger is normal? Well, they're not... at least not yet, even though they're more and more common.
If you even have doubts about that, you should really evaluate what your morals are... and maybe get more in touch with reality.
A man that wants to sleep with other women behind his wife's back (since she doesn't seem to be keen on the swingers things) is a creep.
2007-09-07 15:25:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I haven't been married tht long, but I do know the tendency of men, (being one myself, lol). Firstly, I do think its wrong for him to want to do that, and if its not with you, I think he would find someone else. Not all men are like this, but a majority are. Even if we have the best looking wife, who does everything imaginable for us, I think men would still want a variety, someone different to be with. I even find myself looking around nowadays, and i have to catch myself. hopefully, this guy just wants to hang out, but thats the start of something bad anyway, and he really needs to check himself. To quote from a fav movie of mines (once you start down the dark path, forever, will it control your desity). Anyway, glad you aren't going to oblige him. I dont know if its a respect factor with him, probably not even thinking on that level, just looking to have a good time, which to him, isn't a bad thing. Maybe if you told him how you feel, it would smack some sense into him. Good Luck with the whole situation. Peace out.
2007-09-07 15:30:06 · answer #4 · answered by jonblazze2003 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not normal to the average married man.
Swinging and cheating are signs of a lost love and the feelings gone also. It is BS for anyone to approach a girlfriend of one's wife and ask for such a thing.
Run away as fast as you can and let them know the reasons why.
2007-09-07 15:26:14 · answer #5 · answered by CARL B 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he was "sexually satisfied", he wouldn't be asking. He's bored, and he's looking. He asked you because he thought you would say yes. And don't kid yourself - if you gave him half a chance, he won't sleep with you - he'll take that as permission to have sex with you, too.
If his wife was a friend, tell this guy in no uncertain terms that you're not interested, that you think he's a slimeball, and that if he doesn't look, think, act, walk, and smell like a model husband for the next 20 years, you're going to spill the beans to his wife, help her divorce him, and leave him living in a cardboard box down by the railroad yard.
2007-09-07 15:25:16 · answer #6 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Lots of people sexperiment. It's not a bad thing if they want to do it. It's usually better to do it with people who you don't see afterword. He probably just didn't know who to ask.
To the people who say that he doesn't respect his wife, You don't know what he thinks. It may surprise you, but not everyone is exactly like you.
2007-09-07 15:24:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Allot of swingers are very happily married. I live near swinger capitol. There is no disrespect in him asking you as long as his wife knew. It is more of a compliment.
2007-09-07 15:25:57 · answer #8 · answered by David 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i understand that men like variety. But when his wife is already ready and willing, then he's being selfish and a pig. he's not respecting you or his wife.
he should be happy and grateful that his wife is still sexual and wanting to please. I cant stand men like that who can never be satisfied and use every excuse in the book to f*ck something else that moves.
2007-09-07 15:24:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
There are no sexually satisfied men-we are all directed by our genes to spread the DNA around--and to protect our spouse from the DNA spurting around--hence he asks you and satisfies both needs. I
2007-09-07 15:25:47 · answer #10 · answered by .skjceuafrepiuahfpoefhpieuaf 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋