I went on vacation for 2 months and got back a few days ago.prior to these 2 months we had a baby in march it has been a downward spiral since. My husband is into sports,computer,and xbox/I don't want to nag but i am unhappy. I try to be happy but i don't trust easily and this is a huge problem i feel like he will or has cheat on me and i didn't feel like this until the baby i am happy with the way i look and i love my baby 'm so paranoid, and feel inadeqate to the electronics, and i know theres more to life but i want us to work,no counseling wanted by either party.any suggestions anybody else out there manifesting crazy thoughts?
2007-09-07 14:55:37 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm curious about the two month vacation so soon after having a baby. Did the baby come with you or stay with him? I'm just asking because it seems a little weird to take such a long vacation when you have a child and a husband. I mean, you were gone for 1/6 of your marriage.
2007-09-07 15:10:22 · answer #1 · answered by Jen0408 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You two didn't have any time together as newlyweds why have a baby so soon that was a huge mistake. When I got married we waited until we new we were going to make it as husband and wife.18 Months later we had our baby,i remember i felt weak and depressed for a little over a year. You will feel better just give it a little more time. It is true about the first year being the hardest. I know everyone is telling you just about the same thing but it's true.Me and my husband has been married for 28 years now and our marriage is much much better then in the beginning. Don't get me wrong it hadn't been easy for us,there are so many stages you will go through but if you are strong and you love each other then it will work.
2007-09-08 12:33:53 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your hormones could still be spinning. Do you feel like you have PMS? If you say you didn't feel this way before the baby, I wouldn't write off that this is possibly a hormonal thing.
You might want to try some antidepressants and see if that changes your outlook.
Computers, sports, and xbox are not reasons people get divorced.
You should check out the book "Dealbreakers." (I'm not sure of the author, but it's in the relationship section of the bookstore; a new book.) It lays out the different types of problems with a spouse and tells you when there's a chance of success, or when it's a "dealbreaker" and you're better off getting out. Really an eye-opening book.
2007-09-07 22:20:13 · answer #3 · answered by Laura 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we had a hard time after our 3rd baby kinda like this. The other kids were 9 and 11. The new baby and hormone changes had me pretty unstable for about 4 months. the baby is 9 months now all is well again. Babies are so stressful. I thank god he got a vasectomy lol. People don't ever""really"""" tell you honestly just how hard it is to have kids. It gets better you should strongly think of getting help from a doctor or counselor.
2007-09-07 22:05:51 · answer #4 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sometimes the first years of marriage are the hardest, reality start to set about the whole marriage thing and you realize you have to work a little bit harder on it.
But men seem to settle down of they married, they become their true selves. So you either try to settle or find ways to keep the marriage fun and happy.
2007-09-07 22:06:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Chill out on the whole cheating thing cuz he won't want you if you're accusing him. If he's making electronics number one then take that for what it is. Have you ever heard the saying "Don't make somebody a priority in your life that don't make you a priority in theirs"? It really hit home with me when I read it for the first time.
2007-09-07 22:47:11 · answer #6 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet Pea it seems like you and the hubbie needs to have a talk. I mean you both need to know were the marriage stands and what you both can do to improve it. What you invest in the marriage is what you will get out of it. Good luck!
2007-09-07 22:07:56 · answer #7 · answered by b n real 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi,im curios,why did your husband not go with you on vacation?this will be hard to work out if both of you doesnt agree on counseling.,have you tryd talking to your husband?one year is not along time to be already having proplems,it almost aounds like both of you have gave up,until one of you decides its worth fighting for then really thres no hope,you have a child together so i would try for your childs sake to work things out,,good luck
2007-09-07 22:06:47 · answer #8 · answered by tammy g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not going to have much time for him with baby get your mom or his to baby sit two night a week and go out over night does wonders good luck
2007-09-07 22:52:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself, and condition your mind that he will be the only man in your life. Keep yourself busy with your child. Pray fervently, 24/7 if possible
2007-09-07 22:05:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋