is a place hubby likes to go, and usually I'm fine with it (even though he knows waitresses by name and stays for extended hours "working" on his laptop or just relaxing.) Once in a while it makes me insanely upset (maybe on my fat days, haven't figured it out yet). We've been round and round and he says that he would stop going if I would forbid him to go, and yet I want him to stop going because he cares about my feelings, not because I've demanded it. I believe we have a great marriage, but this is just one of those annoying things that I can't seem to get a grip on.....any advice or suggestions?
2007-09-07 14:13:04 · 13 answers · asked by reddevilbloodymary 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have had a talk and I have expressed to him in detail how I feel, even so far as to let him know I wish he would stop going because he cares that I get upset. I refuse to forbid him because I don't want to be treated like that myself....I'm his wife, not his momma. I don't want him complaining to his buddies that I'm a mean, controlling wife who doesn't let him have any fun.
2007-09-07 14:31:42 · update #1
Hammy, I totally agree with you, apparently my usually logical self fails to do it's thing once in a while, and all the gooey girly emotional crap overrides practicality and logic. LOL
2007-09-07 14:36:27 · update #2
Chill out. Getting upset wont help anything. The logic in your reasons for not forbidding him is 100% on the money. That is what marriage is all about. Well Done.
2007-09-07 14:19:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants you to think of his feelings too. Even if they are feelings you don't understand. Think of a way that you two can compromise on the situation. An idea: He loves the food there, you don't care for the scenery. :-) Maybe he can leave the laptop at home and when he finishes his meal he can go home. Jealousy is insecurity. He doesn't go home with any of them, he doesn't make out with them, he comes home to you. They are paid to flirt. I'd bet you that he loves the attention. Might be something to explore there. Buy some skin tight tops and shorts to wear one Saturday afternoon.... hmmm??? Can I take your order today Mr.......
2007-09-07 21:27:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
clearly you have a communication problem , so no your marriiage is not ok. You 2 need to sit and have a frank conversation. Tell him you do not like him going but that you feel he should care about how you feel and stop. Have you ever told him you dont like him going? Cause that may be the problem in the first place. You need to voice you problems and not hide them
2007-09-07 21:18:15 · answer #3 · answered by I hate stupid ppl like you 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry but if your husband needs the attention from women that work there, he is obviously not as happy as you think. he knows how you feel about it but yet these women are more important to him than you. think the other way around, do you go to a place where guys have their **** hanging out and hang around for hours?
2007-09-07 21:35:46 · answer #4 · answered by not this way 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has made it clear that he cares about your feelings, he would stop going if you asked. You're the one who is not clear on your feelings. He wants to make you happy, but you're not voicing what you want...he's a guy...he needs direction.
I think you should ask him to find some other place to hang out.
It would make you feel better, and I don't think it would bother him to hang some where else.
2007-09-07 21:21:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
....Do you know what you need darling?
A makeover!
YES....... I am being real here...
Get your hair done, buy a new SKIMPY outfit that shows off that figure...
and do not give me this crap that you are a full figured chick...cause my hubby loves me and I am a size 18 and pregnant!
Get a top and bra that shows off your girls!
and pants that accentuate your buns!
Then shake them babies in his face and tempt the hell out of him!
He needs wants and desires attention...give it to him sweetheart!
Not only will he feel better...so my darling...will YOU!
Blessings to you
2007-09-07 21:59:15 · answer #6 · answered by Midnight Winter WOLF 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go to hooters. Any guy in the right frame of mind knows that the girls have to talk to you and go out of their way to be nice. Don't forget they work for tips.
2007-09-07 21:29:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
hooters is not bad at all...you can see a whole lot more at the swimming pool...do you let him go there?
dont let your insecurties get the best of you...its really easy to do!!
2007-09-07 22:18:52 · answer #8 · answered by poodle mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen red just start going with him, hang out enjoy it and he will lose interest soon if you see you like it as well.
Men hate what we like.
2007-09-07 22:00:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why should he go to hooters??? Boobs?! Do you have them? Hmmmmm.... A husband shouldn't go to a place like that unless the wife is one hundred percent okay with it, and you're not. So tell hiim. It's a marriage.
2007-09-07 21:30:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋