We have been 3 yrs together. We were very happy the first 1.5 year after that he started to raise a company and work. All of a sudden everytime I try to get him in the mood to have sex, he rejects me. All the times he rejected me I was upset. Now I have changed my sweet mood and became a bitter woman and I know the reason if the lack of intercourse. Yesterday we set the fire and suddenly I recognize he made me love as animals do: It mean not touching or kissing just for satisfying himself. I was so disappointed and sad that I pushed him aside and then started a discussion: He told me a lot of things, that he is fat because of me, that I don't work up, that I don't know what to do with my life, that he is tired of me, that I am a ****. Today, we still are mad. I have the feeling he doesn't love me. People who say that don't feel love...right?
2007-09-07 13:59:27 · 35 answers · asked by Cristal Capsule 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The only good thing is that you started a discussion, (good or bad). This is no time to be mad. Either sit him down and see if you can start to work on the problems he has brought up, or decide if this is not what you want.
If he is feeling bad about himself, it could be something you could show some support.
2007-09-07 14:08:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
At times after a while and espcially under the stress of modern world and economy going down people can forget their great love and emotions and by doing that to develope resentment to the entire world include their partner. I suggest you first check with yourself - how much you believe or wish to fix this and if you see that there is no point that its more then the sex and that you are too hurt maybe its time to say goodbye. But if there is a chance you can go talk about it before you brake all connection and go to the extreme try that. If he doesn't feel good about his figure maybe you can offer support his diet from home with healthy cooking as well. It is a very complex question and in my work I have found many that still loved each other but fail to see it under stress.
No matter what you choose to do it will be at best if you tell him to speak in a little bit more respect to you since if he talk to you like trash its his own that he is trashing and end nothing to his dignity. I hope it will work for you.
www.kasamba.com/Thinker-Bell
2007-09-07 14:10:57 · answer #2 · answered by thinker bell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello there,
well let me first start by asking you a question do you love him still? If you do, then I would say you fight for your husband. I'm a christian woman and I know I've met a lot of women who have been in your shoes and the only advice i can give is to pray. Pray for God to heal your heart from the bitterness that has been created as well as the anger. Then pray for God to touch your marriage and to make it be the way He wants it to be. If your not a person who believes in God...then I will pray for you. It is possible for this marriage to still work...marriage is a covenant made between 2 people before the eyes of God and I know that He is able to help you. If prayer is something you don't want to try...then maybe you can try counseling...or confiding in a couple who is married and whom you feel secure and comfortable with sharing your problems with. But make sure your husband is in agreement with you cause you don't want to add anymore baggage to what your already carrying. I hope all works out for you!! Be blessed.
2007-09-07 14:10:42 · answer #3 · answered by jana07 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, he doesn't love you. He's abusing you ... verbally and emotionally. He's blaming you for all of his problems and that's not right. People like this are usually very insecure and jealous and they don't change without a lot of therapy. He may very well be like this for the rest of his life. You have to decide if you're going to put up with it. If you do, find other outlets for yourself. I don't mean to have an affair, but cultivate a happy life for yourself that doesn't revolve around him. Get a job if you can and then always put away a little bit of money on the side as an emergency fund in case you need to get away from him quickly. If you can't get a job, get involved in your church and your community. Build friendships with other people who make you feel good about yourself.
2007-09-07 14:09:10 · answer #4 · answered by Emily Dew 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well he may not love you or he may be under stress... You really cannot know until yall have a long talk about it.. but if he is angry everytime you bring it up then maybe he just doesnt want to work on your problems.. maybe he has someone on the side.. If I were you I would try to be sweet about it and just say hunny I am feeling so many feelings right now and Im angry and your angry why dont we try to talk about this like adults in a calm way... try something like this..
2007-09-07 14:08:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People show their love in different ways. You mentioned that you are a bitter woman. When you think of that person, do you feel love and affection for you. My guess is that he will love you as much as you love yourself, which does not sound like you do at this point.
Your best bet is to do something that makes you feel better about yourself and raise your self esteem.
2007-09-07 14:07:18 · answer #6 · answered by wildwillyinva 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He really shouldn't have said that to you. Of course you are going to feel like he doesn't love you and Im sorry that he hurt you like that.
He probably was pissed off because you pushed him off of you. He probably felt like you didn't want him on you. I, of course, am not sticking up for your husband but I am just giving you a "mans point of view" (does that make sense).
If he really felt that way, I think it would be a good thing to possibly have marriage counseling.
I hope I was helpful sweetie. I really hope you the best.
2007-09-07 14:38:04 · answer #7 · answered by ♥KottonKandie♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, LEAVE HIM!!!! He is not treating you right at all. All he is doing is hurting you making you be bitter. Anyone who blames his partner that he is fat because of the woman he is suppose to love is a crock of poop. You can find someone way better that will treat you better. He is very unhappy with himself and he has major issues. You don't need that hun.
2007-09-07 14:56:11 · answer #8 · answered by conny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes that happens a lot in marriages. You're best bet is that the relation is still there. If you love your husband, and he chose to be with you from the start, life will go on. I am sure that he loves you no matter what he says. Everyone has a little bit of compassion inside them, even if it is someone terrible. You're husband probably loves you and you love your husband.
2007-09-07 14:06:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately for you, I agree with you. I think he lost whatever he felt for you when you guys got together. I also think that he was very disrespectful to you. He is blaming you when he didn't have the courage to tell you that his feelings for you have changed. I think that you need to have a conversation with him and ask him is he wants to split. He is going to have to come clean. Boy I wish I would have had a wife that would have like to have sex. He is an idiot.
2007-09-07 16:16:22 · answer #10 · answered by Ricardo R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋