i'm having problems with one of my teachers...please help me?

Question

school just started a few days ago, and i didn't get last nights homework done (but i tried...i spent an hour on 4 questions alone, but still couldn't understand it)...and when she saw that i didn't finish it today, she said: "first major assignment and you blow it off"...then when i tried explaining to her why i didnt get it done, she said: "no excuses." ...well, i didn't "blow off" my work. i ALWAYS try, and i don't give up very easily. and, i DO kind of have a life outside of school, ya know. homework is not my life...and my life is not perfect. i'm just having a little bit of trouble doing 4 hours of homework a night when i'm still trying to cope with the death of my dad. but no, my teacher would never consider that...i've got no pain or stress in my life and all the time for four hours of homework a night...she's to busy making assumptions and judgements about me to consider the truth. please help me, i dunno what to do...

and...i think she's in no place to judge me or make assumptions about me. she's known me for three days, that's it. she doesn't truly know me or understand me the least bit...she hasn't seen my determination or intelligence...i'm just the stupid metalhead that never does homework in her eyes

Answer 1

go to guidance or tell your parent about it. i wish you the best of luck=)

Answer 2

I'm so sorry about your dad and about the fact that someone jumped to conclusions about you. She sounds like a bitter woman, but then maybe she was just having bad day too! Since you now know that completing assignments is a big thing for her, I would make sure that you do finish the next one, even if it means getting help. Then, since you might have a little more credibility with her, you might want to ask her if you could talk to her for a few minutes. Tell her that you have been worried because you got the impression that you misinterpreted your inability to complete the last assignment as a lack of concern. Assure her that it was not. Tell her that you had trouble with it and, after four hours, had been frustrated and unable to figure it out. Let her know that you really do try. I assume you had homework for other classes too, so that it wasn't that you weren't willing to work for more than 4 hours, but that you couldn't let everything slide because you were unable to figure out one assignment. You might tell her that focusing has been more difficult than usual for you since your father died - I wouldn't say that you have a life outside of homework. While I think what you meant by that was that your family life has been troubled lately, it could also be interpreted, by someone out to see you as a slacker, as meaning that you resent schoolwork because it takes away from your social life!

If she is still harsh with you, I would take it to either the head of her department or an assistant principal. I don't know if she just read things wrongly or if she is generally mean, but either way, someone needs to remind her that not everything that happens is a deliberate attempt to harm her in some way!

By the way, you do need to realize that sometimes your appearance will cause people to treat you differently. You mention that she thinks of you as a dumb metalhead. She couldn't think that if you didn't look that way. I'll admit that at 53 and a college professor, I'm still a secret headbanger, but no one at work would ever guess it of me. I'm not telling you that you need to change the way you look, but you do need to recognize that there are consequences to our choices.

Answer 3

First of all, stop taking it personally and moaning that the world just doesn't understand you. Of course she doesn't understand you or what you're going through - she isn't in your head and can't read your mind.
Her assumption was rude and unfair, but that's no reason to write her off as a terrible callous teacher and a bad person. How can she cut you slack for a death in the family if she isn't even aware of your loss?
If your want her to understand you, YOU NEED TO TALK TO HER. Go to her after/before class and tell her that while you struggled with the homework for over an hour, you just didn't understand it. Assure her that you ARE trying, but that your recent loss makes concentrating difficult. Ask for her help, ask her to explain the material to you - teachers are eager to help you learn (that is, after all, what they are there to do). You may need to schedule tutorial times with her or have a classmate tutor you.

Just remember that she can't understand, help, or teach you if she doesn't know what the problem is. You have to let her know how to help you.

I know 4 hours of homework sucks, but actually it is fairly average for high school, especially in the beginning of the school year. As you adjust to the rigorous learning styles of higher education, it will become easier and take less time. Don't give up, you can do this.

Answer 4

First off, you say she is judging you but you are doing the same to her. I think that you need to find some time out of class to approach her about this issue. If you need to find extra help the teacher is there for a resource. Being a teacher myself, I know that at times things can be very frustrating when you put a lot of effort into creating a lesson and getting things ready when the students dont respond. If she really is a true educator, she will ultimately respect your initiative to meet with her either after or before class to go over what you dont understand or just listen to your frustrations. I tell my students that if they need help or just need to vent I am there to help or modify things to make it achievable for them. Also, does she know what you are dealing with? You do not have to hash out the past with her, but a simple statement of "I am really sorry for not completing this on time. I did not completely understand the assignment, although it is not an excuse, I am hoping that I can find some with you so that I can make it up. I have been having a hard time coping with a recent loss in my family and it has been difficult to focus on my homework." Oftentimes teachers will take these things into consideration and make time to help you. I know it is hard to talk about personal issues, but the teacher is a human just like you. You can't expect to not have any homework, but you can expect to find some help and support from the teacher that could ultimately help you grieve from your loss and begin to move on. I am truly sorry for your loss and as a teacher I know that if one of my students had an issue like this I would hope they would turn to me so that I would not jump to the conclusion that they just didnt finish.

Answer 5

Her words sound very harsh, even if you had blown it off.

I would talk to her before or after class and let her know what is going on (the death of your father, that you didn't understand the homework). Most teachers will feel awful (or should) and figure a way to work it out.

Answer 6

let it go ! pray for your father. and for every person you love.
after the loss of your father, what are your priorities at this moment. idon´t think your grades should be at the top of your list. cut yourself some slack. stop trying to accomplish too much specially when you´re grieving . so your teacher doesn´t think highly of you. so what ! does it matter ? she has her own problems to deal with . and even if she had knowledge of your circumstances don´t expect people to be sensitive your pain. your not being sensitive to yourself by trying to get people to fit into your universe. you know very well that once you get over your grief your grades will be to what they used to be ( i am assuming your´re a great student ) . let it go. be nice to you teacher, and if your have any resentment toward her, then and only then things will get worse between you and your teacher.

Answer 7

You need to make an appointment to talk to her after school. Tell her that her comments were hurtful and that you tried to complete the assignment. She should be aware of the fact that you have other homework assignments also. If she is still nasty about it, go to your counselor and request a transfer.

Answer 8

You have been given some really good advice above. One other thing you might try as a last resort... talk to your mom.
Mothers (most) are fiercely protective of their children no matter how old you get.

Tutoring might be a good idea whatever the outcome of this assignment.

Answer 9

Maybe the right thing to do would have been to gone in in themorning and tell her you didn't understand the assignment. Rather then blaming your teacher for everything perhaps you should put forth a little more effort to get along with her/get your homework done.

Answer 10

Keep trying. maybe discuss your issues with the instructor after class. Teachers are people too and they do have bad days. Good luck but above all don't give up!!

Answer 11

My son had the same problem. I tried to talk to his teacher, but she was defensive. I would see if I couldn't be moved to another class.