We have been separated for a couple of months now. she cries for him and asks when he is coming home and she wants us to live together, but I filed for divorce and i just dont think i want to be married anymore
2007-09-07 09:19:16 · 17 answers · asked by Christie B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell her that mommy and daddy are better off living apart (you can word it according to her age/maturity) When she cries for him- call him and let her talk with him. Offer to let her see him or for him to come pick her up for a few hours or for an over night visit.
The best thing for her is *probably* to let her spend equal time with both of you.
2007-09-07 10:12:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know some people that were married and got divorced and still continue to live/date the person they were married to, they say they like it better than being married, i dont see how marriage would make anything different but some people like it better.
now, if your husband doesnt live to far away you should set up days to let your daugther go and see him and spend some time with him, let him have her for the weekend (if hes able), your daughter needs to be with her father, you need to sit her down and tell her in a calm sweet way something like "daddy doesnt live with us anymore" and of course she will scream and cry and throw a fit and ask why, and you have two options (1) lie and tell her that her daddy is visiting a friend or (2) tell her the truth (that you & her daddy are getting a divorce - but that doesnt mean that it will change how much you both love her and that even though her daddy doesnt live with her anymore she will still see him as much as she pleases and he'll always be a phone call away). some things to make it easier would be to do things as a family, i dont know if the break up was nasty or not, but you too should stay civil for your daughter, you need to do things as a family, maybe go to the park together, if you dont want to spend time with him, then go to a childerns movie with him and your daughter, she could sit in the middle and you all would be watching a movie (that way you dont have to talk or interact!)
if you still love your soon to be ex husband and you think he might feel the same way, try working things out, for your sanity and your daughters sake.
2007-09-07 16:26:34 · answer #2 · answered by Xavier's Mommy ツ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old she is but you should just be honest with her. Explain how some times people can't get along and it's better if they live in separate houses. Make sure she know it's not her fault! Also don't put the blame on your husband or yourself. That will only cause her to resent one of you. Just try to do the best you can. Maybe have him call and talk to her on the phone. It's a delicate situation no matter how you look at it.
2007-09-07 16:30:50 · answer #3 · answered by faith 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is the reason for the divorce?
if it drug/alcohol abuse , or physical/emotional or sexual abuse then your reasoning is ok. If not too many couples call it quits without good cause. the "I love you, but am not IN love with you crap" is pure narcissism.
Have you tried counseling?
Children need both parents. Even if one is a slug the kids still need contact.
People give up too easily forgetting words like "until death do us part". What is important here? your needs or the needs of your child? Your hubby likely needs to make changes as well, if the problem was immaturity both people need to grow up and understand the responsibility of raising a child is best done with two parents present physically, emotionally and spiritually.
2007-09-07 16:30:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You tell her that mommy and daddy love her very much and that you and him not being married anymore will never change that. Better yet that you tell her together so that she can see that the two of you together are committed to still being her loving parents.
Divorce is a huge adjustment for the kids too...their emotions are involved as well. They too will have their own grieving process. Try to keep their schedules from changing as much as possible.
2007-09-07 16:25:48 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how old she is. You should definately tell her the truth. Tell her that daddy has his own house now. Make sure she knows that you both love her very much, and it's not her fault. Sometimes mommies and daddies just don't get along. You don't want to talk down her dad.
2007-09-07 16:24:50 · answer #6 · answered by misty_dawn1100 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
so because YOU FELL like not being married , your daughter has to pay the price in loosing her daddy?
It makes me furious to think that your daughter is being tortured because YOU decided that she doesn't need a daddy.
How selfish can you be??? Unless your husband is abusive or doing something illegal you have no right to take your daughter away from her daddy, he is just as important to your child as you are.
2007-09-07 16:26:47 · answer #7 · answered by la dolce vita 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that daddy won't be living with you any longer but that doesn't mean he doesn't love her. Reassure her that both mommy and daddy love her although they won't be living together.
2007-09-08 00:49:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her the truth: that sometimes mommies and daddies love eachother very much, but they sometimes realize that it is too hard to live together, and assure her that they both still lover her very much but won't be living together anymore. Then tell her when she will see her daddy next and make sure she understands.
2007-09-07 16:24:19 · answer #9 · answered by mulligan 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋
how sad. make arrangements for them to see each other more often. that's so sad. just tell her Daddy has to live somewhere else for a while,but he'll be back to visit (when?). make arrangements for them to see each other more often. a Dad is the most important person in a daughter's life. make it happen.
2007-09-07 16:34:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋