My son said his friend feels better that his parents have agreed to remain married, but living separately rather getting a divorce. We had this discussion after I told him that we might be getting a divorce. My son said he likes that arrangement too. My kids are 9,11 and 15.
2007-09-07 08:55:53 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Didn't ask my kids, they just vounteered their opinions. Kids often feel helpless in situtations like these. I just think it makes them feel better to know that they are being heard even if their opinion carries little weight compared with the parents involved.
2007-09-07 09:33:25 · update #1
Personally, I don't think that is a good choice.
First of all, parents who don't divorce but are separated can't get married when they are ready to remarry. If one of the parents decides to get remarried, the parents will have to get a divorce anyways. So why not get it over with from the beginning? Plus if the parents aren't divorced, and one of them passes away, the other parent will get everything. What if the parents have been separated for years, and moved on with different people? My husbands dad had passed away when he was 14. His mother and father had been separated and talking about divorce for almost 8 months. She had already moved out and started dating people. When he died, my husbands mother got everything, the house, his personal belonging, insurance money, etc. Is that fair? I think it would be better for the parents to divorce and have an updated will.
Unless of course you have thoughts of maybe getting back together. If you just want to separate, to work on things, then I don't think divorce is the answer. Way too many people rush into divorces over the littlest things.
Your son may like these arrangements, but will you? If you happen to find someone else in the future will you not marry them because of your son suggested to not get a divorce?
My parents separated when I was 7 years old and I am now 20. To this day they haven't gotten a divorce, but truthfully I wish they would. I would love to see them "settle down".
Divorces are painful, yes, but separation would be worse.
I really wish you luck and hope my answer was helpful.
2007-09-07 09:30:24 · answer #1 · answered by ♥KottonKandie♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like it worked well for them. But not every situation is the same. I mean its nice that your kids wish it was that way. But I don't think kids should decide rather their parents should divorce or not. I mean alot of the reasons behind divorce have to do with the husband and wife. The kids have no business trying to be the mediators in grown folks business that way. Its nice they wish they could change things. But if a divorce is a must it is a must. I don't se the purpose of getting a seperation. I mean you will only get a divorce when you find someone new and fall for them. So divorce is imminent either way. And as I repeat, alot of issues in a marriage that lead to divorce have nothing to do with the kids. You need to make them understand that. So no matter how they feel, divorce is best for now.
2007-09-07 09:29:57 · answer #2 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No kid's should not have a say in whether their parents divorce...the marriage is between the parents, not the children, the children may be a product of the marriage but that does not give them the right to make a decision about divorce.
2007-09-07 17:59:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, why should a kid have a say so in that? You 2 guys are the ones that are in the situation. Even tho the kids are in the middle, the adults should make the decision, not the kids.
2007-09-07 09:21:40 · answer #4 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, because if you separate and just live apart you are still married. If you every find someone to spend time with or to have sex with, you are now having an affair.
Some kids just don't want to have to tell their friends-teachers- whoever, that their parents are divorced.
2007-09-07 09:06:22 · answer #5 · answered by harold 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No a CHILD should not have a say in the matter.
If I had listen to my daughter I would still be with a man that liked beating me or if we were living seperated then I wouldn't be married to hubby and have my youngest daughter.
2007-09-07 09:13:09 · answer #6 · answered by Spring 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO they should not have to make that decision that is wrong, to make a child decide. but i wish that i could have made that decision for my parents because i would have MADE them get a divorce so that my dad would not be able to beat me or my mom anymore
2007-09-07 09:06:56 · answer #7 · answered by ~NIKKI~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each circumstance is different...Should kids be in on the decision process - no...Should they be told after the decision but before the process - teens (yes), adolescents (probably & very carefully).
Good luck
2007-09-07 09:14:42 · answer #8 · answered by thud.fan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER!!!!! ok this is just stupid....you wouldn't let them make the decision to just eat a whole big @ss chocolate cake over a healthy balanced meal; yet you would let them make the decision that would determine the rest of YOUR life, the rest of YOUR ADULT life.
2007-09-07 09:13:45 · answer #9 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
joyce is right and on top of that what do you spend the rest of your life just living separate not marrying someone else what if your kids say no more dating do you live the rest of your life alone?
2007-09-07 09:04:40 · answer #10 · answered by sarah W 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋