well as i said dating is not as fun anymore and I want to settle down. truth is i love another man but he decided to get married to another girl, so as many dates i have i can't recreate what is lost. so if you met a nice guy that looks like he would be a very good husband and of course you like him but you don't love him madly, would you proceed to a serious commitment? he's 38 and divorced, no kids. I suppose that gradually I will love him and start a new life and put the past behind.
I mean what's the point of looking for the love of your life if that has already happened?
2007-09-07 08:30:55 · 25 answers · asked by sarah kay 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm of the opinion that a person who has chosen the introspective and probing life of a writer would be too intrigued by life's passion to settle for so pragmatic yet banal an existence. Since that's the case, that arrangement wouldn't be good for either you or him in the long run....but it would make one hell of a story.
2007-09-07 11:44:05 · answer #1 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh no. Don't do it. What if you marry him and the right guy with the right chemistry, love and stuff enters your life? What then? It is not fair to him or yourself.
I am happily married. I almost married the wrong guy and am SO glad I didn't. I met my now hubby when I was engaged! When I met my husband sparks flew, we fell so in love, I never had so much fun with someone as with him, we talk, trust one another - no one else even came close.
I also have found out that you had better be in love , committed to making it work because marriage is a challenge. He is there every morning, every night, there are challenges, family, mis understandings etc.
Give it some time and I wish you the best. I hope you get what you are looking for.
2007-09-07 16:29:19 · answer #2 · answered by Ann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love can happen many times in your life. Don't settle. 38 isn't even middle aged. ;-) Take 6 months off from dating. If you're not ready when that time is up, take another 6 months. Going into a marriage just because your bored of dating is a horrible idea and will most likely lead to a divorce with a lot of hard feelings.
I know a great guy that I think you'd like. Shoot me an email, I'll tell ya more about him.
2007-09-07 15:42:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are 6 Billion people on this planet. Do not marry this man it will end badly. What if the man you truely love gets divorced 3 weeks after you get married. Look for another one.
2007-09-07 16:01:13 · answer #4 · answered by JF 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you mean.If you find the answer please let me know.I have been in love also and it seems like I will never love someone like that again.I think to myself if I just marry any old who it will relieve my fear of being alone,if only it were that easy Sarah.I want to be with my first love again,and I can wait as long as it takes.You need to have Real feelings for your new man,otherwise it will end in tears,seen it happen to my mates plenty of tI'mes.Be patient,judging from your questions and answers you are a very intelligent young lady and im sure you will find happiness and love soon enough,just dont take whatever is on offer.You deserve to be happy and be with someone who appreciates you as you appreciate them.
2007-09-08 01:29:14 · answer #5 · answered by nickson faction 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And then you complain that men can't figure women out and give up trying.
You are ACTUALLY willing to marry someone you don't love because you are bored with dating?
Jesus.
Do all nice women a favor and move to some tiny island off the coast of Alaska. You're giving females a bad name.
2007-09-07 18:44:10 · answer #6 · answered by filthy_crumb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't do it. I know you are frustrated but who says there is only one guy for you and what happens if you get married and they come along. If you care about the guy you are dating and he loves you, don't do that to him. He deserves to have all of you and in time, it will show that he doesn't. Not to mention, you don't know what the future holds for the guy you are in love with. I'm not saying wait around for him but don't sell yourself short. And, always remember, it is easier and much less expensive to break up than divorce.
2007-09-07 15:39:40 · answer #7 · answered by mg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
committing to someone you dont love is not the solution. if you are not ready, dont be. if he really loves you, he can wait. dont rush yourself. I did. just like you, i lost the man i truly love to another woman. i was hurt and it broke me apart. i dated and met a nice guy. a wonderful man for that matter. i thought that if i give him a chance and i give myself a chance and be with him, i would eventually love him. I was wrong coz the more i tried, the more i push myself away. I ended up hurting myself and him. All i can say is commit yourself to someone when you are ready. ask yourself if you are totally healed and you are totally over the man you truly loved.
2007-09-07 15:55:50 · answer #8 · answered by me_adoreu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on, do you want to live your life unhappy? Why not keep dating but look for people who are more of what you would want to be more serious with. If you marry him you will end up leaving cause you will not be happy.
2007-09-07 15:38:06 · answer #9 · answered by xyz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are sadly mistaken. You never "learn" to love some one, either you do or you don't and if you marry this guy you will find yoruself wondering if there is that special person out there for you somewhere.
Be honest with this guy. Decline his proposal and do not waste your time and his.
Good luck
2007-09-07 15:38:01 · answer #10 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋