Is it ever possible to adjust to one partner being more controlling in a marriage?

Answer 1

Marriage works better when there is a partnership. When one partner is controlling, they usually have issues that the other partner cannot fix, such as abandonment, insecurity, fear, etc. If you cannot negotiate and compromise, resentment and distance develops.

You run the risk of one partner being the child and one the adult instead of two adults working together on individual and mutual happiness. I think you can change the dynamics of the relationship for the better.

I think you have to live true to yourself. You can reassure the controlling one that their feelings are important and that you love them, but be firm about it being their problem and not adjusting your actions to keep peace all the time. You have to live your life the way you want to, working toward your dreams and treating yourself well. You have to respect the spouse's feelings, but allowing yourself to be controlled when you would rather do something else, is a bad way to go and will lead to a divorce. Be kind, be respectful, but realize you are an adult and in charge of your life. Negotiate and compromise, but do not be treated unfairly or with disrespect regardless of why.

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

Since you're not terribly specific, I'll give you a very general rule of thumb: Choose your battles wisely.

In other words, look at the situation and decide whether or not it is REALLY worth getting all worked up over, or if you can live with your partner getting his/her way.

If you feel VERY strongly on a matter, but your partner is completely disrespectful of your view, then you have a problem as a couple...but if you're uptight about EVERY little thing that comes down the pike, then YOU have the problem. Get the difference?

Answer 3

I think so, as long as the issues one is controlling is something you can live with.

Pick your battles carefully, you will be more likely to be heard.

Let them have control on things you can deal with, but don't compromise on things you feel strongly about.

Answer 4

my husband is more contolling over certain things in our marriage and i am more controlling over other things. i would let him do it all and he would be in control of everything from bills to laundry but why should he. i married him to be together and live our lives together not me doing everythign the way he wants or vis versa

Answer 5

no ..false misconception..why not compromise instead