7 month old.. seperation anxiety.. PLEASE HELP *(pulls hair)*?

Question

My daughter is about to be 7 months old... and has seperation anxiety. And shes smart about it!! I have been having to sneak out of the room... when she realizes I'm gone she will crawl to find me... yes i said it... CRAWLS TO FIND ME!! And if shes too tired for that she'll lay down and start pouting and if that doesnt work she'll start crying "ma ma ma ma ma ma". Her first teeth started breaking a week ago so i felt really bad for her and ran to her and held her everywhere... now its getting old. I have tried to keep her occupied by giving her her fave toys and even the remote when no one is watching tv. I am a SAHM the only other person she really clings to is my mother in law because my husband works a lot... but i cant ask her to always take her for a little bit because shes sick a lot and tired from dialysis. I'm stuck at home because my husband has the car and my daughter is driving me nuts... is there anything i can do? or is this just a phase i have to deal with

Ok whoa one of the answers I recieved really boggles me. How can you expect to be in the same room that your child is in for there entire life? The person of which i am refering to obviously has little to no baby experience. Yes my daughter is wanting love and that is exactly the problem she is confusing love for attention. Like most of the other mothers said she needs to know how to play by herself.Which a couple weeks ago she did just fine. Honestly I am guessing that the person that im talking about can't have kids.. making you think you are a pro! hahaha... I think the best idea is like one of the answers said for me to take my honey to work a couple times a week and set off to the library or mall. Thank you to the people that had helpful ideas and to the ones who only can reply in rude answers may GOD BLESS YOU and turn your heart of stone soft because you need it!!

Answer 1

I know very well what your going through. What I did was I put the baby in her swing, or her activity gym. The thing I really loved was the johnny jumper that you hook in the doorway. She can see you and you can still get things done. I know not all, or any of these things may work because every child is different and if she is cutting teeth, then she's going to be Extra Clingy, and Extra Crabby. The high chair works really well too. Give her some cheerios while you doing the dishes, or doing laundry. This way she can still see you and you can get some things done. Another thing I did was, I gave her my undivided attention until her nap time, but remember the baby years don't last long at all, they are gone before you know it. Maybe hire a part time nanny to come to your home and help you out two or three days a week for a couple hours.
These are all things you can try and see what,will work for you. If I lived near you I would watch her for you. I just had a miscarriage this past June, so that has been really difficult for me. I don't have any children of my own yet, but want them desperately. I have however been a Nanny for 12 years. I have lived in and out, so I have been there round the clock for six small children at once for a family for eight years, so I do know how you feel. Good Luck!! Here is a really cool website, you might like. http://pregnancy411.blogspot.com/

Answer 2

Better that she crawls to find you than crawls to the nearest potted plant and eats the dirt, then rolls in it. My thought is that it is the dreaded phase. However, this may be the last time she will be this attached to you so you could try enjoying the time she wants to spend with you and include her in your daily activities. If you are cleaning the kitchen you could give her a clean washcloth and water in her high chair and let her go at it while you do the dishes or make dinner. Same goes for while you are straightening any room or dusting, a clean rag and something to use it on is fun. Yes it only lasts a short while but doing some entertainment dancing for your daughter doesn't hurt your figure at all. There are lots of activities you can use to strengthen her vocabulary, maybe not right now, but any verbal communication telling her what you are doing, asking questions, colors, activities, all of that will help her receptive language. The more you allow her to cling, the less she will cling later on. She may sense that you really want to get away and that drives her to more clinging. Its a little like crying. Babies learn to communicate at first by adult responses to crying. So, you frequently get less crying as time goes on if the adults respond to crying in the first place. Does that make sense? If you provide the security she needs now, she can go forward knowing she is safe and you won't go away for ever. Object permanance isn't a seven month old's strong point. Being a SAHM is not easy, spouses expect lots to get done but often babies have other activities in mind. Maybe you could find someone to come by for a play date. You could make a friend and provide some social time for your daughter. Your feet and a stroller can go places too, even its just to the convenience store down the block. Just imagine how her teeth are feeling, and she's stuck at home too, and she can't even ask questions or understand the answers. So there you go. Clinging is a phase, a good one, she won't always want you and when she doesn't anymore you will feel a little hurt, so enjoy this time as a much needed mommy. Give yourself some love too, its hard to be available all the time, but good for you that you are.

Answer 3

It is a phase you have to deal with. You can make it easier though. Sneaking out on them is never a good idea, they need to trust you. Also at that age they have no concept of object permanence so when you're not in sight she thinks you're gone for good and likely gets scared.
Sounds to me like you have bigger problems than that though. Being a SAHM is hard work! You need to get out some and need more support. Can you drive hubby to work 2 days a week so you can have the car to take baby to a music class or the library or just the mall? At least go for a walk or invite a friend over.
Call to your daughter when you're not in the room so she can hear your voice. Tell her you'll be right back and make sure to follow through. Play games like peek-a-boo or hide toys under a blanket for her to discover so she starts to learn that things don't disappear forever.
Remember that she's just a baby and she loves you. Good luck.

Answer 4

Yes it is a phase, but it can be a long phase that can last until 18 mos old. If the weather is nice you should take your little one on plenty of walks. Hopefully you live near a park, bookstore, or library. Or even a store can be fun to take your little one to, sometimes they just want to see new things. Also if your little one likes baths, you can give her a bath, and give yourself a pedicure at the same time! (next to her of course.) Maybe sometimes you and hubby can arrange for you to drop him off at work so you can have the car for the day. Oh yeah and about the separation anxiety thing, eventually you can find a TV show that your baby REALLY likes, and then she will be so into that, and you can get a few things done while shes watching. With my son it was "boohbah, and tellitubbies" Now he is 14 mos and he loves sesame st. if hes watching that than he is not so concentrated on what I am doing. I know they say don't let the TV act as a babysitter, but sometimes you have to for a little while so you get get stuff done around the house! Good luck!

Answer 5

My daughter is 7 months old and KIND OF does the same thing. If I leave the room, she crawls and says, MA MA MA MA until I come back. My husband get so upset (hehe) so he has started putting her to bed and she will cry "Ma ma" until I come back. But I don't...my husband and I switch on and off he works ALL THE TIME, but will make sure he;s home to put her to bed every other night. So she's used to the both of us. My daughter is with my dad during the day so I'm sure I don't have it as bad as you do...I sympathize though. But once I'm home, she wants me.

Try this, sit on the floor with her with your mother-in-law or husband get the baby involved with either of them then slowly work your way out of the room. She will forget you even left. Keep doing that and then come back so she knows you're not gone, you're always going to come back.

Answer 6

My 6 month old has just started to notice when I leave the room and starts up. I've never run to her when she cries out, I just holler out mommy will be back in a minute. She too will scoot to find me or throw snit fits when she sees me walk past. I just let her do what she needs to do and keep reassuring her that mommy is still here. Its mostly when she's tired that she acts this way. And when I come to join her when I'm done...she reaches for me so I pick her up then she gets ugly and wants down. This is a pivotal point in their age progression...they are going from baby to toddler and aren't always equipped emotionally to handle the change.

Answer 7

I'm afraid it's just a phase you have to go through. You definitely shouldn't let her "cry it out" - as some may recommend. Psychology has the idea of "the internalized parent" - this is the idea of the parent that the child takes in as part of herself and helps her to eventually wean off the real parent. If you give her the assurance of your presence now, she will internalize that comfort and be able to feel confident in herself later. Trust me - I did it with my 10yo and 8yo and they are independent and confident now.

You can, however, let her cry (or crawl) for a second or three, building to 5, 10, 15, 30 seconds - so she knows that you WILL come to her, but she sometimes needs to wait a little. That will build her ability to anticipate and wait for what she wants. Hang in there!

Answer 8

I am so happy, it was only a 35 minute drive ( 70 minutes total) but absolutely no sign of anxiety or panic i shopped till I dropped - brilliant! I will now go for the next stage DUAL CARRIAGE way, probably at the weekend, with my husband accompanying me first then the solo drive, if successful the final stage of driving on motorway

Beat Anxiety And Panic Attacks Naturally?

Answer 9

I can suggest going to places with a lot of people around like the mall, or having visitors as often as you can. I was always told though never to sneak out of the room, they cry because they think you are not coming back. Try some exercises where you leave the room "And say mommy will be right back!" and then come back one minute later. Maybe she'll know that it's okay because mommy will be back to get me.

Answer 10

Just let her cry. One she realizes that you're not always going to come running whenever she makes a sound, she'll realize it does no good to pout and cry ma ma over and over. We had a similar situation where at first picked him up whenever he started to pout a little, but it got old, so we just let him cry. at first we felt bad for just letting him lay there and cry, but after a while, they get smart and realize it's not gonna happen. Best of Luck!