How can i keep from spoiling my baby?

Question

I watched my friends 6 week old baby yesterday
and if i put her down even for a moment
she would cry, at first i just thought she was fussing, but she would actually start turning red until i picked her and cuddled with her.

She was no hungry and she did not need a change because i did that throughout watching her, but she was just crabby and did not want to be put down at all, i have a baby on the way so i had lots of baby stuff, like swings, and stuff.

My friend even admits to spoiling her and holding her all the time, but i couldnt get anything done or even eat a taco.

Are all babies like that? Is my baby going to be so damanding that ill never be able to get anything done, because someone will always have to be holding him.

I do not want to spoil my child like that, i know he will be my first and ill want to hold him all the time, but i dont want him to never be able to sit alone without crying or fussing.


Any tips or ideas?

Answer 1

You can't really "spoil" a child by holding them too much. But I understand about "not being able to get anything done". I had a similar experience like you-- while I was pregnant, and I thought "noooo!!!" but.. my son was very content sitting or laying by himself.

Its different with your own kids, especially at first. You don't really mind them wanting you~ it's like "aww.. they want mommy".. but you still need to get some crap done around the house (or eat a taco lol)

It all depends on the baby, I wouldn't reccommend NOT holding the baby to get her acustomed to not being held, but maybe delay the "pick-up" time & let her cry for a minute. I'd let her cry to make her realize that it isn't the end of the world if you're not being held.

Patience is key, congrats on your soon-to-be baby!! good luck

Answer 2

Yes being that it'll be your first baby, you'll want to hold him all the time. I think all babies are different. I see the type of babies like your friends where they cry and cry until you pick them up. But I also have seen some babies who was also held all the time but they're still not spoiled with the holding. If you ask some specialists, they'll tell you that newborns don't know how to be spoiled, so hold your baby all you want. Newborns just seek the warmth and confinement-like space like in the womb. So just remember to swaddle your newborn. I always did that with my two babies when they were born and I never held them too much and they were fine. My 2 year old was an angel as a baby. I mean she wasn't fussy or anything. But now she's the most spoiled lil devil around.

Babies just need to be calm and you can do that by swaddling them. I did that with mine until they're about 2 months or so. If not there's those baby carries that you can use to strap them to your body while your doing housework or whatever.

Answer 3

Do some reading now- lots of it.
You CANNOT SPOIL A BABY! That baby is a newborn- the mom holding her baby all the time is the BEST THING FOR THE BABY. They need that, crave it, and will thrive on it. Our baby was in a sling for the first 6 months, she cosleeps, and is breastfed. She is 13 months old today. She was walking by 9 months of age, independant- knows what she wants and is hitting her milestones early- having 10 words by 12 months of age.

Please start reading now- I recommend

The Baby Book by Sears.

Your friend needs a pat on the back for being such a good mommy.

By the time a baby is 4 months old, they want to be held a bit less. At 6 months, they are on the move- and busy. At 1 year- look out- they are going to snuggle when it feels good to them- and only then. That's how it is here and was with both of mine.

Your friend is nurturing her little one- and that is exactly what the baby needs.

Answer 4

She's not spoiled, that's just the way babies are at that age. They require food, clean diapers, sleep and lots and lots of cuddling! And yes, they are that demanding and you will not have time for anything else. I had no idea it was going to be like that either. You pretty much have to let go of your own needs and make your child priority number one. Once he/she gets onto a little bit of a schedule it gets easier and you can make time for little things - like taking a shower!!! Hopefully you have someone to help watch the baby for a little bit so you can get some rest! It's hard at first but oh so rewarding. Just remember, take whatever help is offered and nap when the baby naps ~ believe me, the housework will be there when you wake up!

Good Luck!

Answer 5

I'm a firm believer that you CAN NOT spoil your baby at 6 weeks. And certainly not by holding them all the time. Babies need to be held and cuddled to feel secure. I firmly believe that holding and cuddling your child will create a more balanced and secure adult.
My daughter is 6 months, I held her constantly or laid on the floor with her and she is fine by herself. The only time she gets fussy to be held is when she's extremely tired...even then once you pick her up she wants down...so she's just being a cranky butt.

Answer 6

6 weeks? She is not spoiled, she is a newborn. You cannot spoil a baby. Being held, cuddled, etc, those are needs to them. It is not being spoiled. They have been held comfortably in the womb 24/7 for the first 9 months of their existence, being taken out of the womb into the outside world is a big and frightening change for them.
I have found that slings make life a lot easier. Put the baby in a sling and then go about your day. You can get housework done and baby gets to be held close to you.

Answer 7

You can never spoil a baby that young! Feed her when she's hungry, pick her up when she needs held. My pediatrician said that once they are 5-6 months, that is the time when you start the discipline. My son used to be like that, but as they grow older they gain some of their own independance. It will get easier, I promise!

Answer 8

Yes. They're all like that. And it's not spoiling to hold a baby, it's biologically necessary and hard-wired into her (and every baby) that she needs to be held. You can't "spoil" a child until their demands are not their needs. Babies *need* to be held.

You will have to learn to do things around your baby - try a sling. It's like a third arm. You can cook (carefully) vaccuum, do laundry (carefully) and load the dishwasher with a baby in a sling, and as a benefit, they cry way less.

If you are interested in why babies are hard-wired to be held, you could try reading the first few chapters of Sears' The Baby Book. It's a very good guide to have on hand, lots of help with fussiness, allergies, and breastfeeding. It also has a big section on slings.

Answer 9

You cannot spoil a 6 week old child. The need to be held and loved is a legitimate need. Holding an infant as much as they want to be held will instill in them a sense of security that will make them confident children.

There are slings that are great for when you need 2 free hands. And as a mom you will learn to eat with one hand. Trade in a taco for a burrito and problem solved.

Answer 10

My daughter is 4 months old and we were always scared of spoiling her. We tried our best to not hold her all the time and thank God she can be put down without getting fussy! I used a motion glider and a swing now that she's older. She does love attention but does not have to be held 24/7 good luck!