I have these wonderful friends that I met in college. Things were so GREAT with our friendship. These two good friends were there for me even at one of the most crucial times in my life. But now its been almost 9-10 years since I've known them. As our friendship went on, their was lot of jealousy. Careerwise, Relationships.....I admit I wasn't such a good friend. Now our friendship is drifting apart. An upcoming wedding that I wasn't invited to is tommorrow, and they are friends with the girl who is getting married, I was too. Now, I feel that they are so sick of me and my name dropping and acting spoiled that they are going to be friends with her and her new husband.
I played the piano at these wonderful friends' wedding when they asked me too. But now, Our friendship just seems one sided. They moved an hour away from here, it takes awhile for them to answer my calls. They get angry whenever I share good things in my life with them, they aren't happy for me.
Additional Details
2 minutes ago
tommorrow these wonderful friends arranged a picnic, before the wedding. The girl getting married isn't going to be there. Should I go...one last time to salvage the friendship? should I tell them I'm really sorry for being such a bad friend, that I'm insecure and that's why I do all these things, name drop, like high-class things, talk about my family. Or should I just forget about and move on? They REALLY mean alot to me, but I don't know how much of this I can take anymore......trying so hard for it to be like it was before (or a little bit close, I understand of course that they are married now and live far away) when they used to come over every single day. But not keeping so much in touch......even if they are married......it shouldn't (ourfriendship) shouldn't change THIS much. What should I do?
(sigh) :(
2007-09-07 05:07:39 · 20 answers · asked by ~~~Tara~~~ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I was invited to the picnic!!!
2007-09-07 05:40:09 · update #1
What you are going through can be painful, but it's not uncommon. In fact, I would think that it happens to most of us.
As we grow older, we take different paths in life, and people that we had lots in common with when we are younger, we no longer have similar experiences when we get older.
People tend to socialize with others that have common interests and goals. As you go through life friends will drift in and out of your life. Some for a few months, some for a few years, some for many years.
Make the most of the friendships that you have. Learn from your past mistakes. Treat everyone like you want to be treated.
Good luck to you.
2007-09-07 05:16:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Understanding your situation, I would not recommend that you attend their picnic uninvited. That would definitely add salt to an already open wound. Rather, I would invite them to a dinner as a reason to get together as you realize how much you appreciate each of them and how little you have ever share that with them, but you would like to take this opportunity to tell them exactly that. Be sincere, admit that you were an i*** and of your insecurities, but you would like to start off with a new slate since their relationship really do mean a lot to you.
They may not come the first time, but keep trying. If you want this relationship to work, you will have to change and work at being honest, happy for others, and trying to deal with your insecurities. Everyone has them, but not everyone let them get in the way of friendship.
2007-09-07 05:20:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It does change however when people get married. Your friendship is important to you. You might tell them that you have and are insecure and were trying to impress them. Ask them if they would forgive you and start anew. Don't be surprised if they say they just don't have time for you.
Leave it up to them as to what they answer.
Be strong at least you know the issues. So here's wishing you the best of luck. Then if they don't respond, find other friends, you sound like a nice person.
Good luck!
2007-09-07 06:21:30 · answer #3 · answered by mary 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im in a very similar situation but it got that bad i just had to move on. We don't speak anymore and stay started a hugh fight with me recently and i ended up getting hit. Im not the type to ever get into a fight like that and it upset me so much. I never did anything to them. My other friends say its because their jealous cuz i have a brilliant boyfriend for over 5 years and have bought a house with him and got a gud job after i finished school but how cud people build up so much hate for no reason. From personal experience I wud rate your friends d same as i wud rate the others. "bitches with nothing better to do then make other people feel bad. Good Luck x
2007-09-07 05:24:40 · answer #4 · answered by emz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never had a clear answer but I have given the question to the Lord just like you. Then when its time I go on my feelings not what makes the most sense sometimes. I believe the Holy spirit is in me so I go with that. Its easy to tell if you chose wisely or not. Remember even if you screw up and you make the wrong decisions God can still bless that path and if God wants you someplace you will find your way back around.
2016-04-03 08:50:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the picnic. Go to the wedding. Apologize discreetly at the picnic for anything you feel the need to but dont dwell on it or make a big production of it and make everyone uncomfortable. In the future, be nice but know that things will never be the way they were simply because lives have changed and matured ( as they should). Just enjoy the wedding and seeing your old friends and relax.
2007-09-07 06:02:30 · answer #6 · answered by undone 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Only you really know what is right to do. If you don't go, you may always wonder what would have been. (This is only if you were invited to attend the picnic.)
It sounds like you care and would like to make amends. If you do go, don't apologize for your behavior, rather suggest that you are sorry that you drifted apart, you value their friendship, and would like to be in contact with them.
If, however, they are married, and you are not, it may be difficult to keep a relationship going. You will know what is right to do. Trust your feelings. It may be better to move on if they do not respond in a positive way.
2007-09-07 05:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by JGD 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go so far as to show up to a wedding I wasn't invited to to speak with them or any pre-wedding arrangements either but I would call these "friends" and tell them exactly what you have told me that you were insecure you felt different and trying to fit in basically got to you and you never meant to jeapordize your friendship with them then ask them if they can find it in their hearts to forgive you and try to be friends again.Tell them the truth you were just trying to get back the friendship from long ago the way that it was.
2007-09-07 05:17:05 · answer #8 · answered by Shannon B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
freinds will come and go , dont write them off , but dont stress to much about it either , it is a bit of an insult , and I would be upset to , but let it slide , and move along , dont invest to many feelings into something which has lost it's sting.
2007-09-07 05:15:15 · answer #9 · answered by DSV 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your friendships with those people has run their course. You've outgrown them. Move on it isn't worth the stress.
2007-09-07 05:14:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋