I have these wonderful friends that I met in college. Things were so GREAT with our friendship. These two good friends were there for me even at one of the most crucial times in my life. But now its been almost 9-10 years since I've known them. As our friendship went on, their was lot of jealousy. Careerwise, Relationships.....I admit I wasn't such a good friend. Now our friendship is drifting apart. An upcoming wedding that I wasn't invited to is tommorrow, and they are friends with the girl who is getting married, I was too. Now, I feel that they are so sick of me and my name dropping and acting spoiled that they are going to be friends with her and her new husband.
I played the piano at these wonderful friends' wedding when they asked me too. But now, Our friendship just seems one sided. They moved an hour away from here, it takes awhile for them to answer my calls. They get angry whenever I share good things in my life with them, they aren't happy for me.
2007-09-07 05:01:17 · 15 answers · asked by ~~~Tara~~~ 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
tommorrow these wonderful friends arranged a picnic, before the wedding. The girl getting married isn't going to be there. Should I go...one last time to salvage the friendship? should I tell them I'm really sorry for being such a bad friend, that I'm insecure and that's why I do all these things, name drop, like high-class things, talk about my family. Or should I just forget about and move on? They REALLY mean alot to me, but I don't know how much of this I can take anymore......trying so hard for it to be like it was before (or a little bit close, I understand of course that they are married now and live far away) when they used to come over every single day. But not keeping so much in touch......even if they are married......it shouldn't (ourfriendship) shouldn't change THIS much. What should I do?
(sigh) :(
2007-09-07 05:04:51 · update #1
But I was invited to the Picnic!
2007-09-07 05:38:37 · update #2
A friend is someone who reaches for you hand and touches your heart.
You were best buds in college but ppl change with time and the focus of their lives certainly changes with marriage. I know of very few married females or males who continue the same friendships after the wedding. No particular reason, ti is just a change in focus/interests.
If you feel that you were not "such a good friend" there is little hope of rekindling the relationships.
Let them go. Seems that you have very little in common with that group at this point in your life.Cultivate your own group of friends who have similar interests. You will find the new friends more interesting and exciting. Dont bother with a call or visit to the picnic,
2007-09-07 05:42:13 · answer #1 · answered by fretochose 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might try and find new friends, fresh new faces, fresh new company, fresh new life-stories. Fresh new things to tell to each other, to strangers that are no strangers anymore. You might try and let new friends enter the sphere of your life so that they may enjoy your beautiful music and your loving company and all that much that you might wish to tell to them.
You might try and come out for new fresh air also on the metaphorical site. You might try and think that a period of your life has gone and got buried, and so you might try new adventures of warm friendship and brotherly and sisterly love.
The arrogant and respectless Romans are reported to quite often use a proverb that says that "when a Pope is dead, we just elect a new Pope, that's all". You might try and be a bit indifferent, or else you won't easly survive, at least not in a healthy way.
2007-09-07 12:38:24 · answer #2 · answered by pasquale garonfolo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i can understand how u feel to a degree.in my situation i ended up just moveing on. the1st thing that had happen a childhood friend of mine got married and i found out 5mths later. we always said we would be each others maid of honor. it hurt really bad... but, over the past 4 yrs. i became friends lots of new people.. we check in time to time. what i had learned is that people change over time aswell. sometimes the case is not always u. its everyone.
but if u do feel the need to discuss this issuse w/ ur friends do so. things don't change afterwards. best bet is to just move on. at least u know u had a chance to clear ur plate. good luck. hope this helps.
2007-09-07 12:38:06 · answer #3 · answered by i'm just me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've sorta went through the same situation with my best friend, but I kinda made the wrong decision. I stopped talking to her and everytime she tried to call my phone I would hang up on her and that was NOT the smart thing to do because I really cared about her alot. We didn't talk for probably about 3 months and finally I wrote her a letter explaining my actions, told her I was sorry and that I should have dealt with the problem in a totally different way. We are friends now but its nothing like it used to be and its all because of the stupid decision I made. So...if you care about your friends as much as you say you do, talk to them about whats bothering you, if they are your true friends, they will listen to you.
2007-09-07 12:22:11 · answer #4 · answered by Jessie W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All life taking decisions ( I am so sorry to break you this news) Al those decisions you have to make by yourself. You can run to everybody and ask advice, But all the doing and follow up you have to do. The point only you is responsible for your life and nobody else.So you have to grow up quickly.
And those people were not "friends" if there was jealousy.Whom so ever caused it.Find better friends.
Backbiting does not make a friendship.
2007-09-07 12:18:10 · answer #5 · answered by yasses 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you truley want to heal the relationship, using someone else's good time is not the way to do it.
Contact these people BEFORE the picnic and offer your apolgies. THEN, walk away. If things are meant to work out, they will, if not, y ou have the rest of your life to live correctly learning from your mistakes.
2007-09-07 12:10:25 · answer #6 · answered by Marvinator 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly friends you meet in school or college will tend to drift away from you. You have a lot of life ahead of you and you will doubtlessly make more friends. These people you feel so attached to are being very rude and cruel.
It wouldn't hurt you to let them go. You have outgrown them.
Good luck
2007-09-07 12:08:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Friendships are always worth salvaging go to the picnic
2007-09-07 14:45:15 · answer #8 · answered by Melissa T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mopar, may be right !! To apologize is the mature thing to do; but, be chary about your faults. As they could come back on you and hurt.
If it were me, I would call up the organizer of the picnic and finagle to get invited. At least I would have more information.
To 'crash' the picnic might be uncomfortable to all concerned.
2007-09-07 12:36:31 · answer #9 · answered by Bill S 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like you became a royal snooty ***** over the years and they got fed up with your braggin azz. it's your own fault and if i were them i would probably not take you back into the circle of friends again, regardless of your apology. you are probably not going to be any different.
find people more like you that wont mind your snootiness and let your old friends enjoy themselves. everyone deserves to be happy, even when you arent included.
2007-09-07 12:13:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋