wanna read my poem?

Question

I know that this poem hardly makes any sense at all. And the technique (or whatever) is totally mixed up, and incorrect.
I , however, like it that way. So, if you want to read it, be my guest. I just hadn't written anything in a few hours, and I needed to.

Looking up at you from beyond my grave
You hide your face from the world
What happened to the man I love?
Have you given up on faith?
I told you once that I’d love you forever
And forever hasn’t stopped since I went away.
Don’t cry for me
Don’t fake a smile
Cause we’ll be together
In a little while
Hold on, my love
It will be okay.
Although your heart has crumbled,
Tomorrow is always a new day.
You question your purpose in life,
And you wonder whether it just seems
Fair that you should end it.
Do no such thing, please listen to me.
Even though the fire in your soul remains unlit.
You must always remember that I love you,
And there are others who feel the same way.
Surely you must have been joking when you said
That killing yourself is the only way.
A drop of blood falls on the ground,
I’m here, helpless, watching you bleed.
There’s not a soul around to see
That you, yourself, have ended your life,
Just for a chance for us to be together
There is no hope for return,
Due to the knife that slit your wrists,
And the drugs that you took too many of.
And now, an outsider would plainly see
A crumpled body laying in a pool of blood,
The limp hand holding a letter.
A letter that I sent from beyond the grave,
Saying that love would keep us together.

if some of you are disappointed or offended, so be it. I'm not going to apologize for my writing. First of all, I don't have a boyfriend, so I'm not romanticizing suicide or anything.. I'm just writing. second of all - I won't write about happy, joyous things, because I don't like to write of those things. I don't mean to be rude or anything, that's just how it is.

Answer 1

ooooh thats freaky. I love it

Answer 2

Woe is me. Oh, the angst, the torture, the torment, the pain, the struggle, the suffering.

Channel this into something constructive. Melancholy is a really good tool in writing. Read some authors like Poe who used it brilliantly and go from there.

And you and your boyfriend stop romanticising suicide. You're not going to be a quotable writer if you're looking from beyond your grave, now are you?

Good luck.

Answer 3

this stuff is just killing me, i swear. well, the poem is fair, especially in some places more than others...you know them. i just have to say i know a young, young man that killed himself recently, and what you wrote hurt to the quick. he was on his way to see my kid; they'd made a pact that if one were to get too down, they'd see the other... then he turned around and went at high speed into a tree, no skid marks, witnesses.
you're killing me, sweetheart. for one poem write a light one one with joy and/or peace you have it use it always as much as possible there is a great need for many such poems. thx

Answer 4

i won't write a poem maximum days, yet then each now and then proposal will come and that i gets returned heading in the right direction. that's precisely what's going to take place to you, because of the fact i do no longer think of you would be waiting to end writing. wish you experience slightly greater advantageous. x

Answer 5

Okay, can't argue w/ur need to write. However, no matter what you say, this isn't a poem. It's a letter written in short lines. Still, I hope the writing made you feel better.

Answer 6

Wow that is really good. I think you have some real talent! Good Job!