What kind of woman would deny her husband the chance to be a father?

Question

My little brother got married about 18 months ago.She's 27,he's 33.His wife's absolutely gorgeous,extremely high maintenance and very career driven.All she cares about is looking good and making money.My brother is very family oriented and adores children.His wife on the other hand considers unborn children parasites and pregnancy something to be avoided at all cost.She has 5 nieces and nephews who she barely notices let alone spends time with yet spoils her 3 dogs rotten at every chance.She managed to get pregnant 3 times despite being on birth control pills and aborted all 3.She's desperately seeking a doctors to tie her tubes at her age and actually celebrates whenever she gets her period because it means she's not pregnant.I feel so bad for my brother and wish he'd leave her but he practically worships the ground she walks on and would rather walk through fire than leave her even if it means giving up the thing he wants most.What kind of woman would deny her husband children?

Answer 1

Oh please. Give me a break. Its HER choice. He shouldn't have married her if it were that important to him. Clearly, it's not.

Answer 2

She sounds like a peach.She sounds untruthful,the pill is not foolproof but three times..come on.It is horrific the way she treats these pregnancies so carefree.I feel very sorry for your brother.A women being career driven is respectable but there are other things in life than work and looks don't always cut it.If you do not have family then what are you working towards anyways?He is young enough to get out of this now and luckily he has no attachments.I am just wondering if he was aware that she was this way before he married her?I wish him good luck....I too have a brother that was in a similar situation and thank goodness got out of it but not for along time.He is now getting married again to a girl he adores that is pretty on the inside as well as the outside.

Answer 3

What kind of woman?? Oh please, it's not selfish or wrong not to want to be a parent. I too celebrate my period with thanks that I'm not pregnant. I also had an abortion and don't think there's anything wrong with that. My partner and I would make awful parents! We know it and we accept that despite social pressures otherwise.

In fact, if you want to know something interesting, studies have shown that the reasons that people choose to be parents are more selfish than the reasons people choose not to be parents. I could become a parent if I lived on instinct, certain selfish needs and biological desires, but that's just wrong. This is a life we are talking about not a chance! Not a pleasure or a joy, an entirely new individual that doesn't deserve my selfish wants or the world we live in.

Many people are not maternal/paternal. They're more introverted and intelligent, so they relate to adults rather than small children. They know that in order for there to be a future, there must be a present and that many people have children, too many people in fact and too few worry about making the world a better place, either through their careers or through politics. My partner is good with children and family orientated, but he doesn't want his own kids. He knows it's not right for us. There are so many unwanted children and there are so many problems in the world today that it's wrong to give up and hope our children can do better. What about right now??

It's clear that this woman has chosen not to have children. Your brother is a fool if he married her knowing her attitude and thinking she would change. If he didn't know, he's a fool for not knowing!

I think you need to butt out! How do you even know your brothers deepest desire is to parent children? Maybe you're just making some breederific assumption. It's not your place to say that every woman or man should be a parent and it's certainly not your place to judge your brother's wife. Basically, you're a friggin' be itch! You don't understand his wife and you simplify her life because of the children. Please!!

Answer 4

Before they even considered on getting married those are the things that they needed to talk about. There are alot of woman who want to pursue a career and they don't want to have any children involved that is there decision at least most of them are smart enough not to get themselves pregnant. I think that is why we have so many children who feel so alone it's because the parents did not want them. But a woman has a right just like a man does to make decisions even if you think you love the person you have to weigh out the situation is this what I really want. Your brother will have alot of resentment towards her and maybe one day he will find someone who will share the things in life that he loves to.

Answer 5

If you know how much your sister-in-law does not want children, I am sure your brother also knew before he married her.
A person only has control over themselves so your brother must face the following choice - divorce or stay without children. He needs to decide which is best for him, and then live a happy life either way.

Answer 6

although i agree with you but i must say your brother has his own life and his old enough to make decisions. No matter what you think you do not have the right to meddle. You can only be there for him once he realize his missing out on a lot of things by not having children and putting up with his selfish wife. ..

For as long as your brother is happy support him and love hims some more he will need you once he wakes up.

Pray that he wakes up soon! Good luck

Answer 7

You've already answered your question. Your brother should have known this also when he married her. She is self absorbed, and will not risk her looks or career to give enough love and attention that a child requires by a mother. Your brother knew this when he married her, he just assumed he could change her mind or that she was a woman and assumed that with time her female instincts of motherhood would kick in. I feel very sorry for him, but if he loves his wife, he loves his wife and ultimately it is his decision to stay with her or or leave her to pursue fatherhood. Don't get in it, but let him know you are there to just vent to and support him with whatever decision he makes. Just between you and me though, she sounds awful, especially if it was your brother's children she aborted. Me as a wife I want a child by my husband 'cause I love him and want a child that's made up of both of our love for each other and would never abort a child, especially a child that was apart of my husband....food for thought.

Answer 8

Keep in mind you're on the outside looking in. These are adults so I'm sure this was discussed before they were married. During the engagement phase he still had a option to walk away or go forth. I'm sure she didn't become career driven & obsessed with her looks nor high maintenance overnight <-so fact is he knew what it was going to be. High maintenance is something women start off with at a young age. To often we hook up with people who we assume we can change but we don't marry people we know won't change. You should pray for them and ask God to change her heart instead of complaining. Trust me the way we feel about I person can show on the outside and I don't think this is worth ruining your relationship with your brother.
Don't complain about his wife due to she's nothing like yours (if you have a wife). Not been hard on you just stating the facts due to far to often people jump the gun & meddle in folks marriages and pay a greater price in the long run.

Answer 9

I would much rather have children than to be married. I was married to a man who never wanted children and we had three and I was the one who had raised them pretty much on my own. If I had it to do over again I would have had my babies and never gotten married. My husband never knew how to be a father and that is pretty sad. My children are now grown and on their own and I would give anything if I could go back and they could be babies again. Your brother made the decision to marry the woman that he choose and you can not live his life for him. Sometimes a woman will not want children because they feel that having a baby can and sometimes will ruin their bodies after they have given birth. Nothing stays the same after having a baby.

Answer 10

Sorry, but from what I read, I don't think that, at the moment, she would make a very good mom. A mother needs to be able to give 110% of herself to her kid(s). She has to be able to put other's before herself and put things she wants to do off for another time. It takes a special person to be a good mom... and it doesn't sound like she's it. I' m very sorry that your brother wants kids so badly but I feel that at least right now, it would be a mistake to somehow 'force' this gal to have a baby. Think of the baby... kids know when they're loved and cherished... how would this kid feel??? He married her and committed himself to her, he'll have to deal with that on his own obviously. Not everyone is suited to be a parent, did he not discuss this PRIOR to getting engaged? I sure hope he went into this with his eyes open. If not, my heart goes out to him because I know what he'll be missing.

Mom of 3 beautiful gifts... love them way too much!

Answer 11

Why is this of any concern to you? You said your brother adores her and practically worships the ground she walks on.

Your brother is happy, leave them alone!

If push comes to shove, you will be the one your brother removes from his life, not her.

At least the woman is honest, she is not going to have children that she does not want. Read the newspapers, there are hundreds of abused and neglected children in the world who were born to parents who did not want them.

Thank your lucky stars that the woman is honest about it. She could give birth to 6 kids and then expect you to watch and/or raise them! Would THAT make you feel better?