My husband talks to me with such anger and disrespect you would gag. Everything that goes wrong is my fault. He has been extremely verbally and emotionally abusive. With everything that I have been through, when he is attacking me verbally, I do the only thing I know how to do, I attack him physically. Everything is a mess. We've both made mistakes and bad decisions in the past, but my mistakes and decisions are the only ones that matter. He is constantly judging me and putting me down. He has no respect for my job because I got it through a temp agency, so it doesnt meant anything and doesnt appreciate anything I do or have to say. Where is this going?
2007-09-07 03:53:05 · 19 answers · asked by forever charmed 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not always what you do, sometimes it's what you didn't do, in their eyes anyway.
2007-09-07 04:51:09 · answer #1 · answered by eviechatter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it is going down hill. Why do you let someone talk to you that way and treat you like crap. Don't you have some respect for your self? I also think that you are letting your temper get out of control. Noone, man or woman should put their hands on another person. No matter what the reason is. Sounds like both of you could use som marriage counseling and quick. If you don't do something different in your marriage you will end up hating each other or something worse! Get some help and work on your marriage! If you've gotten to the point where you just can't do it anymore, leave!
2007-09-07 11:13:57 · answer #2 · answered by faith 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, quit hitting him; no one deserves that treatment. Lashing out at each other shows a total lack of respect and also shows much deeper issues lying beneath the anger. Instead of hitting him, how about reacting by talking in a calm soothing voice, taking his hand, telling him you want to get to the root of it all - and to please explain why he feels you are to blame. Let him know you are trying to understand where his anger is coming from; that you both love each other and should not be hurting each other with words and such. He may have problems dealing with accepting responsibility for his own actions, so he blames others. If so, that is way beyond your ability to change and it will take some counseling. If he loves you enough, and you act as the mature adult in these situations, he will be willing to listen; which is a start to overcoming his issues.
2007-09-07 11:08:19 · answer #3 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, it sounds like your relationship is teetering on the brink. Only with some intensive counseling can you even have a small hope of returning to a healthy place. Abuse is horrible, not matter what form it takes, and it leaves lasting scars. If you really want to save your marriage, find professional help immediately. Otherwise, don't make excuses and get out of this abusive environment as soon as possible.
2007-09-07 10:58:27 · answer #4 · answered by sanguis 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your problem. But there are many people in your situation. At least you're trying to reach out and get more info. I would suggest you try to see a marriage counselor. However your husband doesn't sound like that kind of a man who'd want to seem weak and ask for help. I would definitely try to convince him to go, maybe another family member should, his mom, sister, brother etc.. If that is you both want this marriage to have a chance. But if he is not interested then it would be in your best interest and and the interest of your safety to get out of the marriage. He may be verbally abusive now but that could lead to physical abuse in no time.
Again sorry to read about your problem.
Best regards.
2007-09-07 11:01:35 · answer #5 · answered by Peqo 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its going no where but down in a hateful spiral. Fighting back against people like this, especially physically does nothing but give them more fuel to judge you by. Its like cat and mouse....some cats only want to play and torture the mouse while its fighting back....once it stops moving they walk away and leave it alone, because its no longer fun or a challenge.
You don't seem so far gone that you can't dig yourself out of the hole he's pushing you down into. Get away while you can, unless he's willing to seek counseling, but don't be surprised first if he's willing to even admit what he's doing wrong. Second if he only is good while in counseling but quickly reverts back to his old ways.
2007-09-07 11:18:00 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The biggest question I have is do you have children together? As shocking as this may sound..if you do then you have to work on it. Divorce is the worst form of child abuse!!! The two of you may need some time apart to work on yourselves. If sounds like you are taking things really personal. Remember this you are 100% responsible for the outcome of your relationship. You need to get stronger and beleive in yourself. You can not get acceptance from anyone but your self. if what he says to you hurts you and you take it personal then you are losing. Find away to to be strong. i wish you much luck. Don't be a victim!
2007-09-07 11:09:22 · answer #7 · answered by msgolf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to end up nicked if he gets sick enough of being hit. Bottom line is, You should NEVER hit someone you say you love. Your relationship is a time bomb and you'd be best to leave and seek help for your anger issues. I don't mention what he should do or what help he should seek as your question only relates to you. Once there is abuse within a relationship it's dead in the water.
2007-09-07 10:59:14 · answer #8 · answered by tuggybird 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not going anywhere good hun. I suggest you sit down and talk to him, tell him exactly how you feel. Have you two ever thought about marriage counceling? That might be a good idea. If you love this man then you two need to do something quick befor it gets worse or you two end up divorcing.
2007-09-07 12:14:37 · answer #9 · answered by Kasja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek professional help. You both need anger management as well as marital counseling if you want to save your marriage. If you don't leave now before someone gets killed.
2007-09-07 11:13:01 · answer #10 · answered by TeaQueen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try going to church & also get some marriage counseling. Otherwise, you are heading for the big D.
2007-09-07 10:58:38 · answer #11 · answered by mrsdebra1966 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋