I have been dating my girlfriend for 4 months now. Things seem to be going ok with a few bumps in the road along the way. However, lately, she has been saying I LOVE YOU but not with enthusiasm, including sometimes when she says it on the phone so low I can’t hear her and have to ask what she said. Recently, and only because it was something I said in conversation that brought this up, she said she is going to start working later on Wednesdays starting in 2 weeks and trying to work a few hours extra each day during the week for extra money. Again, she didn’t volunteer this info. Now I wouldn’t think anything of this being that we have talked about getting a place in 5months when her lease is up and we could use the extra cash to support ourselves. However, she has a history of cheating, including her ex hubby. And I still suspect she talks to her other ex she cheated on him with, but she denies it. Even though she has text him in front of me.
2007-09-07 03:48:26 · 6 answers · asked by hero 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
And her text to me first thing in the morning have stopped and she text me later on. Her text have become short like “gd morning, oxox” where as I send a nicer text each morning saying that I love her or have a nice day. She never text anything back. We are both in our 30’s and I have been down the road before and know when people start to lose interest. I’m afraid to talk to her about this because we have had fights in the past about her EX who she cheated on her ex hubby with and don’t want to cause a riff. I’ve noticed her decline slightly in being excited to see me. Do you think that she is either making up and excuse to see her EX after work being that he only lives 2 miles from her job or is she getting ready to save money so she can get her own place in case she changes her mind about me. I’m just a little curious about this. and we also see each otehr everyday and all weekend long...thanks.!
2007-09-07 03:48:40 · update #1
I think she's going through something and I'm not sure what. It does sound like she's losing her fire. If she has a history of cheating, then I'd suspect that she is again. Dr. Phil always says the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. If this is how she deals with things with others, then she's doing it to you. You let her text her ex in front of you? Oh my. You need to say, "Hey, I have other things to do, call me when you get done with that text" and leave her standing there.
2007-09-07 03:53:52 · answer #1 · answered by Kitten Hood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whew, you sound like a worrier. I know, because I'm just like you. Here's a couple lessons I'm trying to learn myself:
1. Don't judge people based on their prior mistakes.
2. Don't judge people based on things other people have done to you in your past.
3. When someone tells you something, just believe them. UNTIL they give you a reason not to.
4. If they've given you a reason not to believe them, then trust your instincts.
You know your relationship better than the rest of us do. Don't worry about the lack of morning text messages, though. That happens as people have been together longer. It's natural that things slow down a little when you're not trying so hard to impress someone anymore. That's not necessarily the way things should be, but it is the way things are.
2007-09-07 10:55:36 · answer #2 · answered by Mel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow these could be a few things you have to take in consideration. She is a habitual cheater and this would be my stop sign right there I would go no further in a relationship with her if I were in your shoes. But since you have already gone driving past it so quickly that you missed it now that you have been told about it you are wondering am I going to make it with her?
Probably she wants to settle down once and for all but who knows. You said that she has been in contact with this guy who ruined her marriage before and it sounds to me that he is a threat to you in your mind or maybe he is.
Now she is taking a lot of time from you recently and this could mean many things:
A. She is trying to see the Ex again even if he really was.
B. She is trying to work hard to save money for the apartment
C. She is saving money for an apartment for herself.
D. She needs space!
If option a is correct then you deserve better. If option b is right then you have nothing to worry about but patience. But if option c is correct then you are not giving her time to think about you or miss you and this is critical in a relationship. Or if option d is correct then you need to give her space, time and reason. This might be hard to do but if you want to make this work out then you really need to do the space thing.
2007-09-07 11:09:53 · answer #3 · answered by *Pretty In Pink* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound way too demanding of her time and affection. It's only been 4 months, and you've probably smothered her to the point where she can't take it any longer. Do you ask her if she loves you?...bad idea and highly annoying. If she loves you, she'll say it without having to be coaxed into saying it or feeling obligated to say it just so you'll shut up.
Moving in together is a bad idea. She doesn't answer to you, and she doesn't have to keep you informed of everything she does or doesn't do. You're only a boyfriend of 4 months; stop acting like her husband.
2007-09-07 10:55:59 · answer #4 · answered by ron-D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you keep bringing up her past? Maybe she is just not into YOU any more. 4 months is not all that long and maybe she just realizes you are not the one after all. Try talking to her and by talking I don't mean accusing her of cheating.
2007-09-07 11:08:15 · answer #5 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you have some major trust issues buddy, and if you cant trust you have nothing so just think about it do you love her enough to always have to wonder where and who she is with? 4 months is not to early to cut it and move on if you dont trust her now chances are you never will so do both of you a favor
2007-09-07 11:02:51 · answer #6 · answered by fairydust 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋