i just found out my husband invited his brither and his little boy to spend the night at our house TONIGHT. i just found out this morning and apparently he has known for a few days, and didn't tell me. There is a big difference between coming to visit and spending the night. Visit might mean i need to do a little spot cleaning. and overnight stay entails major cleanign cause they would be using the bathroom and everyroom in the house. PLUS my husband and i have problems so i have slept on the couch for almost a year, how inconsiderate of him not not think of where they will sleep or where i will sleep for that matter. I think i have a right to be mad do you?
2007-09-07 03:40:10 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I htink you're already taking this much better than I would be! Furious would be a better word.
2007-09-07 04:07:20 · answer #1 · answered by Blue Oyster Kel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the same way. If we are having company I want the house to be as clean as possible. I am actually a little obsessive about it. As soon as my husband knows his family or friend are coming over he tells me right away. He knows how I am and wants to make sure that I know what's going on. I think your husband should have told you when he found out. Although I am more concerned with why you are sleeping on the couch. Sounds like you guys may not be communicating very well which may be the reason that he didn't tell you. I think maybe you guys need to work on your relationship. Get some counseling or something. A wife and husband should be sleeping together not apart!
2007-09-07 11:07:02 · answer #2 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, it is very inconsiderate for him to invite them to stay the night, without even discussing it with you.
However..
Communication seems to be something the two of you lost a LONG time ago, being as how you've been sleeping on the couch for nearly a year.
I have to wonder though.. Why is it necessary for them to spend the night at your house?? I can see them wanting to spend the evening, visiting and stuff.. but I don't see any reason why they should have to actually stay the night. If they're from out of town, then maybe.. but if not, I'd have them go back to their own home.
I don't know what to tell you really.. Personally, I don't think you two are in any position to be having overnight guests.. when you're not even on good enough terms yourself.
2007-09-07 11:16:07 · answer #3 · answered by arkiegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is an easy way to make sure it doesn't happen again. Sleep on the couch tonight. When his brother wonders why, simply say your husband is an inconsiderate prick who refuses to tell you anything you might need to know about your home life. I should think the embarrasment alone would stop that happening again.
Could your husband be trying - in a very noncomunicative way - to get you back in bed with him? Maybe he doesn't know how to talk to you about it. I would ask him where does he want you to sleep for the night - might clear up some misunderstandings.
2007-09-07 10:55:04 · answer #4 · answered by Sandra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You have every right to angry. It was inconsiderate of him to make plans that affect you.
HOWEVER, if you had a good relationship to begin with, this would be an easy forgive (or maybe even a fun evening of him making it up to you - especially with people in the next room). But it sure doesn't sound like that's going to happen, is it?
Stop getting mad about the little things and do something about your relationship!
2007-09-07 10:59:31 · answer #5 · answered by Vitiran 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah you do but I think that you shouldn't be mad at him for inviting his family over and you having to clean. Your house should always be clean. I understand that the information was late and you have a lot of preparations but the real matter here is your disfunctional marriage. You don't want anyone to know what your house hold is like and I understand that but you have to deal with that.
2007-09-07 10:51:44 · answer #6 · answered by *Pretty In Pink* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ditto! I'd be furious. I'd let him know that it's not ok to make plans with out you in YOUR house! Tell him that he can take the couch and figure out the rest with his brother. You just go into your room with provisions (ice cream, remote control, cell phone, chips and so forth), lock the door and have a good night!
2007-09-07 10:50:45 · answer #7 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be mad, that is so inconsiderate.
Be glad though, my man informed me his brother was coming to live with us with no discussion or a thought for me. This has happened on numerous occassions from brothers to cousins to friends. And it's not like they ever offered a cent for anything. No more!
2007-09-07 10:52:10 · answer #8 · answered by Choqs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't feel you have the right to be mad, if your problems are so bad that you sleep on the couch and have for a year, it's his family maybe he needs someone who he feels cares to be around him everyone needs that. it sounds like you need to work on your problems if you were happy and want to make decisions with him than why aren't you in the relationship with him?
2007-09-07 10:59:04 · answer #9 · answered by jeannieboop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been sleeping on the couch for a year you have other things to be mad about.
2007-09-07 11:16:09 · answer #10 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very inconsiderate. Hire a cleaning service and take his bed tonight.
2007-09-07 10:52:54 · answer #11 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋