When ever my husband and I argue, I can never just let it go. I will usually hold a grudge and give him an attitude for a few days, then I get over it. I know that it is a problem I have. I have tried not to do it, and when I am angry, I tell myself that I just need to get over it. However, then I think about whatever the situation is, and it makes me angry and I just can't get over it so quickly. Any ideas on how I can help myself not be so angry all the time. He is really good and just letting things go, so that helps. I really do try, but it doesn't work.
2007-09-07 03:32:00 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ask yourself, If what you are fighting over is really that important in the grand scheme of "LIFE"? Is this problem really going to make or break you? Figure out why you can't let go and fix it. RESEARCH the problem.
2007-09-07 03:40:27 · answer #1 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't let it go, you havent' resolved it. Look harder at the situation. What are you really getting angry over? Are you part of the problem? What would make you happy? Is there something you could do to improve the situation?
Once you see that you are angry, you can ignore it and let it stew a while--see if you still care in the morning, you can try to distract yourself, or you can think about it until you figure out a way to make it better. Which one you choose depends on how big the problem angering you is, and how much you had to do with it.
2007-09-07 10:41:55 · answer #2 · answered by wayfaroutthere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the whole scheme of things, does what you argued about mean that much? Don't allow little Minuit details to eat at you. Holding a grudge is only harming you as you are the one who gets to feel the bad emotions for such a long time. How about concentrating on how much you are thankful for in your life, instead of the negative. When you replace those negative emotions with positive ones, you will feel so much happier and unable to hold a grudge.
2007-09-07 10:50:14 · answer #3 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holding a grudge after arguing with your husband is perfectly normal, however if this resentment goes on for days and after discussing the problem with your husband you still hold it against him, then it's very likely that you didn't approve the resolution given to the problem. Marriage is about compromise and communication. try and find middle grounds when arguing, this way you both sacrifice something and win something too. This is a very effective way to solve problems without feeling like you were fooled or taken advantage off. Best of luck!
2007-09-07 10:41:07 · answer #4 · answered by onlinetherapist.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell yourself that in 5 years, whatever you are arguing about won't matter. That usually helps me get over the little stuff. You hold a grudge because you don't feel that the situation is resolved. Next time you argue...take 5 mins and think about why you are still mad. Then explain that to your hubby and get to the root of the issue. He can let it go because he feels it's resolved.
2007-09-07 10:36:01 · answer #5 · answered by skybelle24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and me are exactly a like I have the same problem. I dont get over it but we usually end up in a bigger argument just so I can let my anger out and we make up. Things are going good for a month or so then he brings it out of me again. If you have close friends or family talk to someone get out and enjoy yourself to take things off your mind. I dont have that option I have no family except my hubby and kids. Thats a long story. Dont be like me and hang on to whats bothering you try to move past it. Good luck!
2007-09-07 10:48:13 · answer #6 · answered by hotmoma1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet your the one who's usually stressed out over whatever it is that has you upset, too... You shouldn't be allowing yourself to go through this...We all have fights and arguements in our relationships but, you have to learn to deal with the situation right then and there...Try to find a solution to whatever the problem maybe and then let it go....Holding on to it isn't helathy for you or your relationhip in the long run...Sometimes holding on to grudges can be worst then what the arguement was about...It doesn't pay to be all upset..
2007-09-07 15:03:05 · answer #7 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
grudges are usually products of unforgiven sins and mistakes. it usually follows when you fail to confront the sin, left undealt with and forgotten. what you're doing is just to "get over it" rather than to confront the problem, deal with it and forgive your husband. even if you've already "gotten over it", you still have that bitterness in your heart and they pile up. you may hav forgotten the sin but when some fight with your husband occurs,those piled up anger springs up again and reminds oyu again of the past, resulting to bringing up your past once again. the key here is to learn to confront in love and be ready to forgive your husband.
2007-09-07 10:43:08 · answer #8 · answered by J L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fix him a really nice meal & make out that night. That should solve the problem quickly. Then, go to church together & confess your sins. You will feel better & be a better person.
2007-09-07 10:37:07 · answer #9 · answered by mrsdebra1966 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple answer....discipline. Nothing more. Control your emotions. People who cannot do that end up in situations that more often than not that put you in a position you can't extricate yourself from.
Think with your head and not with your feelings. You'll save yourself from doing irreparable damage.
2007-09-07 10:52:46 · answer #10 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋