He said he wouldnt have lied if he knew what I meant? Is he lying again?

Question

My partner and I have been together almost 8 years. We have had our ups and downs but always seemed to be able to work things out. He lied to me yesterday. I asked him the day before if any of the woman on his facebook list (because he keeps adding woman)*old friends* were his ex girlfriends. He told me no.none of them were. Then last night we were talking about it and he slipped by accident and said the girl who contacted him by email was his ex girl frien. So because he didnt add her he felt he wasnt lying when I asked and said I didnt know what I meant. I feel like theres a knife in my chest because this is not the first time (i didnt word it properly) and so it wasnt a lie. 8 years is a long time to dedicate my life to someone so literal. He emailed me this morning because he knows I am still upset and said"I am sorry about lying to you my dear – I did not clue in to what you were saying and ,meaning and if I did I would have said so." Can you give me your honest opinion please.ty

I am worried that we consider lying to be 2 totally different things. Of course it would take me forever to write out the countless other times this has happened. I am a forgiving person and pretty much submissive and let it go. I guess i should have nipped it in the butt the first time he lied. No I dont want to get married nor him. I have already been married and screwed that up.

Answer 1

are you worried that something more than emails will occur? if so i would rethink your relationship:)
blessings and luck to you

Answer 2

Eight years is quite an investment and I don't blame you for wanting to make sure you are reacting in the right way. I would hate to throw away something that I had put myself into like that over a misunderstanding.

But....

You really do have to ask yourself why do you feel this way?
Has he lied to you before about ex's?
Does he have a pattern of deception in your relationship?

If you suspect him of cheating whether it be emotional or physical you need to work out those feelings and decide whether they are your own personal insecurities or if they are his actions.

Either way, you have these feelings for a reason and if he respects your relationship, he will be open and up front about his actions so that you can feel comfortable with what he is doing when you aren't around.

Have you asked him for passwords to his accounts? If not, I would and offer to give him all of yours. In a committed long term relationship, the only way to have it last is to be completely and totally open with everything.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Sweetheart, you are connected to a liar and a cheat.After 8 years you certainly deserve better.Get a little gumption pull up your socks so to speak and find a real and honest man.Life is way too short to put up with B.S.
Wishing you the best of luck and the ability to find the courage to change up your life,it will be hard but it will also be soooooooo worth it.Good luck to you and watch for Cupids arrow in the future it should not strike you in the heart,and neither should you allow lies to strike you there.

Answer 4

I can see where he did not understand the question...technically the ex was not a contact so he was not lying when he said none of his contacts are exes, that is not what i would be worrying about though, if these little things seem to bother you in your relationship than you have a Long road ahead of you.

Answer 5

Well this sounds like you are not married. I'd say you have not not much to complain about. If he is talking he"s F******. If You spread you legs with no ring who's fault is that? Really who is the real liar? You are! you lied to your self. Don't say a word to him It's your owen fault. Take you lumps and get on with your life. You know how to fall for a line. Remember no ring no bang. Pack your things and be gone. you messed up. Do not be mad at him. You should have put a ring on your finger.

Answer 6

I think you are over-reacting and should drop it. If he didn't add her, then what's the big deal. People talk to their exes occasionally. Doesn't mean he is going to run off with her.

But I'd be more concerned about the fact that you've together 8 years and no marriage. Unless you are both okay with that, then he is definitely commitment-phobic. Not my type of guy who uses a girl for sex but won't commit.

I'd dump him and find someone else.

Answer 7

Your husband should not be on the net communicating with any woman. This is a good way for someone to set themselves up for temptation and you need to put a stop to it! If you are upset now think how you will feel if he decides to meet them in person? The net makes it way to easy for people to get involved and for married couples to get intrested in someone else. To solve this problem I would be against what your husband is doing to start with.

Answer 8

If this is the only thing you suspect of him lying about then I say drop it. If you have other worrys then I say you must rethink this relationship no matter how much time you have invested in it...

Answer 9

you asked him if any of the girls that he added were his ex's. none of them were, so he didn't lie to you. yes, one of his ex's contacted him, but that's not what you asked.