I just found out yesterday that a very good friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend because he was abusive. She says that she needs me as her friend more than ever, but in this situation I am at a loss as to what to say to her. What would be the best advice/comforting words that I can give her in her time of depression??
2007-09-07 02:38:15 · 12 answers · asked by Kaylin 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Aww this sucks...I cant stand men that do this...They give us all a bad name...I am a soldier in Iraq right now and I would definately knock the crap out of him until he apologized for what he has done....As for your friend..well I would simply tell her that there are people out there that are willing to listen and are willing to care for her in her time of need...Try not to let her be alone too long because the after affects of an abusive relationship can be long lasting depending on how bad the abuse was...If he even comes near her when you are there unleash a fury on him...In other words, tell him to go to hell or else...If he raises a hand to you or her again call the cops and get his sorry *** into jail where the guys there will beat him up for hitting women! And beat him up they will, truat me! Good luck cutie and let this soldier know if there is any way I can help or even listen to you for assistance...Tell her to SMILE! Life is sweet and so is she!
2007-09-13 00:21:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is just be there for her. Try to keep close touch with her because if it was really bad he could go after her. Most abusive men and or women try to keep control even after the break up. There's so much you can say but the most important thing is to just let her know she did nothing to deserve it and you love her. In a lot of cases the abused feels like they some how deserved everything that happened because they may love the abuser so much. Just try to be her rock and watch out for yourself. See what shes going through and if you ever feel like you are in her shoes get out before you love because once you have fallen its hard to see past the pain of losing them even with that pain they are causing.
Tell her there's more to life then a man who holds no love for her she will find the love she wants and more as long as she keeps her heart and mind open to new ideas and no matter what she has a good friend because you love her enough to worry about her and you only want the best for her. Good luck to both of you!
2007-09-12 04:51:40 · answer #2 · answered by tammynashton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a good listener! Your friend needs to express herself on her hurt feelings all the way around. That's what good friends do. I'm sure you know how a person should be treated in a relationship, so support her and say that she has made the correct decision by breaking up with a person that abused her. No one should ever be treated badly in this world. Help your friend by thinking positive and learning to have respect for herself and loving herself. People that are abused lose their self confidence real quick and this is bad. Build her up and help her get her identity back to whom she was in the past. Good honest and caring people deserve only the best when it comes to finding a mate. Cocoa
2007-09-07 03:37:25 · answer #3 · answered by cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I dont know your friend but the worst thing she could ever do is go back.I to have been in an abusive relationship and you never realize what it does to you until you're in one.The physical is horrible the fear and the doubt it places in you but in my case the mental was much worse.It strips you down to nothing.They play with your head.They say sweet things and the next its all taken away and its basically just to put you down for their control.Its horrible so in my opinion if your friend is a good one and you care about her just tell her how wonderful she is and let her know youre there for her okay.Just reassure her that she does have people to talk to and that love her and no one should go thru that.Just be her friend let her talk.You just listen.Good luck.She does need you.
2007-09-07 02:43:46 · answer #4 · answered by jt 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask her what she needs.
And do little things to build her self-esteem back up.
I agree, don't say you sympathize if you really can't, but be there for whatever she needs. And make sure she understands that even though she may feel that she "deserved it"...she doesn't. And congratulate her on how strong she really is to be able to get out when some people can't.
Remind her too...life is full of lessons, and she's lucky to have learned this one NOW, so she can amke sure it never happens again, and start re-building an amazing life!
2007-09-07 03:06:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi,
sometimes it is not what you say but how well you can lesson. allow her to vent allow her to say what ever she needs to say about the relationship and about him. allow her to just talk and if she ask you for your advice be honest and open. do not candy coat any of your feeling on the subject. hold her hand and walk her through the darkest time in her life. in all just be a good friend.
2007-09-07 02:45:56 · answer #6 · answered by Sonya K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look talk to her listen to her ,dont try to relate to her situation ,just tell her you dont know what shes going threw but your there for her mostly listen comfort and hold sometimes the best way to get over bad touching id heart felt touching hold her as if you were holding yourself.later remind her of her indepedent self. woman have so much power its amzing,help her realize it.
2007-09-07 02:44:42 · answer #7 · answered by bear 56 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let her talk and listen just be there for her dn't make any comments against the young man. just be there and it will help her grow abit when talking about it helps the person being abused.
2007-09-11 16:23:01 · answer #8 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you have to have any calming words. Just listen and be there for her anytime she needs you. This will pass.
2007-09-07 02:47:51 · answer #9 · answered by Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont have to say anything just let her talk....all you have to do it keep her away from that pig.
2007-09-13 07:38:59 · answer #10 · answered by Whitney S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋