Julit, was my good friend and i really love her with all my heart and am ever ready to go the extra mile in other to make her happy. Time without number i always called her to find out how she is faring. To my surprise, she began to distance her self from me as at the time i was involved in am accident that almost cost me my life. As fate may have it, i sustain a fatal fracture injury in my left leg and i was on the ground for almost six months and she could not find it good to come and see me. She only come after i have called her several time and complained why she should be treating me this way and she give excuses of not having time hence she could not come all this while. When i finally got up from the sick bed with the help of God, i still love her despite the way she behave and as a result i still call her nearly every now and then but she never call me once. She always give me excuses of not having money to buy airtime. Now i have decided to to call her again. advice!
2007-09-07 02:24:12 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Sorry, but I think you are just wasting your time trying to reach her. If she was interested in you, you would have heard from her.
Besides who really needs a friend who isn't there when you need her?
2007-09-07 02:33:47 · answer #1 · answered by BettyBoop 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have great experience of this, i was involved in a severe crash, and nearly lost my leg - its so bloody useless now that it would have been easier if i had! Anyway, the majority of my friends didnt bother coming to see me, and even now, 5 years on, i am only in contact with 3 original friends who have been there all the time for me. I actually confronted a couple of my so-called friends (i had been mates with a few of them since my teens - am now 43) and they said it was the fear of what had happened and what was happening with me at the time of the accident and still now. They said they didnt know how to respond to me at all, and it upset some of them so much, with it being a really serious accident, that they just dont know how to be around me. I told them that even though my leg is knackered, and my head was screwed up for a long while, i am still the same person inside, but that hasnt worked. Sometimes fear makes people withdraw, sometimes they cant even explain why. I wouldnt try to resolve this just yet, you get yourself and your life back together, and if she is ever able to cope she will be back. If she cant cope, there will always be other people to become close friends with you. It is nearly always the nearest and dearest to us who suffer when we are seriously injured. Be patient, dont keep trying to contact her, let her make her own decisions about whether she can still be good friends with you. She isnt necessarily being selfish, she may just be so frightened of what NEARLY happened to you that she cant cope with her own thoughts and feelings. I still feel a lot for my "old" friends, but there is nothing i can do to change their thought patterns, so i have tried to pick my life up again as best as i can, and you will too.
I had to talk through this with my psychologist, and with cognitive behaviour therapy i learned to distance myself from these friends and accept that I HAD TO MOVE ON.
2007-09-10 15:23:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reading you question, this girl does not sound like someone you can call a friend. A friend is someone who is there for you in an hour of need, someone who doesn't make excuses and above all, someone who values your friendship as much as you value hers.
You are a nice person and you deserve better. So you should tell her how her treatment makes feel and if she doesn't want to change, find another friend.
2007-09-07 10:07:01 · answer #3 · answered by soraya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Save your dignity!! I wouldn't waste my time on her. You class her as a good friend, but obviously she doesn't deserve this role. When you're sick, or when things go wrong in life is the time when your friends show their true colours. I',m afraid she's been tested, and failed. The least she could have done was ring to see how you were. Don't ring her anymore, for your own sanity, cut contact. She's not worth the heartache xx
2007-09-10 08:34:33 · answer #4 · answered by sparkle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK. i don't know the ins and out of this story but u seem to be really fond of this girl and good on you, but i don't want to seem nasty or anything but maybe your being to pushy and you need to give her time, she may be in shock after what happened and although you are better now she may not want to see you hurt or a bad condition because it may hurt her to see u like it. i don't want to cause trouble but she may have another partner in her life and not know the right word to tell you so she may be waiting for u to give up, she may be trying to let you down without telling you so she doesn't hurt you and break your heart, it sounds like the likes or liked you once, so maybe sending her e-mail asking her whats going on might help? i really hope this helps and u figure out the situation,
all the best and God bless darling,
Fingers crossed, Kirstie xxx
2007-09-07 09:36:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her go. The fact that you had a life altering experience is tragic, and G-d continue to bless you with good health, and heal you, but that is not a reason for someone to continue to care for you, or car for you just because of that incident. That wouldn't be fair to either of you. She has made it perfectly clear she cares not for you, and you are refusing to take the hint. She is trying to let you down easy, and make it hurt as little as possible, and you just won't take no for an answer. LISTEN to your own interpretation of this, you know the answer already, just accept it and move on. Why would you want to "force" someone to care for you? Would you like it if you were "forced" to care for someone else? Of course not. Go ahead and call her, it won't change anything, and you'll feel like a heel for continuing to chase after her.
2007-09-08 20:01:10 · answer #6 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Suck it up Uggy pal and move on. A woman that will leave you lame on the ground for weeks without even checking on you is a liability you dont need.
2007-09-07 09:50:56 · answer #7 · answered by bletherskyte 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop thinking about yourself. Well maybe she couldn't afford to come. Maybe she needed that money for something else Does she have a family a life; a life of her own ? Next time you want her to come buy the ticket for her
2007-09-07 09:38:54 · answer #8 · answered by STARS 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are putting YOUR expectations on what YOU think a friend is on her. Clearly, she doesn't measure up to your expectations...that should be enough of a clue for you. Why do you 'love her dearly', when she has no regard for you?
Stop wasting your time. Stop calling her. You are now only bothering her, and you are obsessing over someone who will NEVER return your affections.
2007-09-07 09:33:59 · answer #9 · answered by Super Ruper 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
was it love she had for you ?Or you misinterpreted love ? One said" partners are like goods on the shelves of super markets- make your choice and leave the rest.Later you don't like it get another from another shop if need be!But keep happy all the way! Why? He says "happiness" is the greatest complete love .Got me?
2007-09-07 09:38:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't even call her again, if a person can't even push the buttons on a phone to see how you were doing then she has already in a way said goodbye to you.
2007-09-07 09:37:30 · answer #11 · answered by painterlady 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋