I have an 11 month old baby and I don't want him to have an sleep over with my inlaws because I'm kind'a worry that they might not understand his needs because his too young, and I'm missing him cause it's my first time to be away from him. i can't even go with him because of some reason. So i let him go there 'cause i don't want them to think that I'm being selfish although it's really hard for me. He'll be gone for three days...
2007-09-07 01:16:17 · 20 answers · asked by Mitch 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
i can sympathize 100%. my daughter is 20 months old and i have never left her with anyone other than my husband or myself simply because i do not trust anyone else to take care of her like i do. i do not mind them coming to visit or us going to visit them but i do not feel that a sleepover at this age is appropriate. besides why does the baby have be away from mom/dad for the gparents to visit with them? and no grandparent is going to care for your child like you do, they want to be fun which is understandable but sometimes unreasonable. all i can say is try to explain why you feel like you do or if you dont feel like you owe them an explanation (like me)just say i know that you have had children yourself but this is the way we do things and i would prefer that you do them this way because this is what the baby is used to and we have both agreed that this is what is best for our children. of course it would be better coming frm your husband if you can manage to get him do it.
2007-09-07 01:36:10 · answer #1 · answered by Faith,RN 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, it's not being selfish at all.. However, your in-laws want to spend time with the little one..You should let them just be sure that you feel comfortable. Check the house out and REMOVE any knick nacks, or cords that a child can get into and any chocking hazards. Sometimes, grandparents forget or are unaware of hidden safety dangers.. I still have to do a "clean sweep" at my in-laws house and my children are 1 and 3 yrs. Give your in-laws a list of phone numbers and a photocopy of your childs medical card and conscent form to treat your son/daughter in case of emergency. This may sound a bit over the top but, it's better to be safe than sorry. Or maybe start with a small overnight outing and see how it goes from there. Call a couple times to check up with them and make sure everything is all right. You might find it relaxing and enjoy the peace and quiet. WOW ! I can't get my in-laws to watch my children one night let alone 3 days.. (they both work and are gone almost every weekend !) If you are worried about safety I would go to their house with any extra's you think need and childproof the house... If you don't have outlet covers use tape to cover low exposed outlets. Bring a pack n play to put the toddler in when it's time to sleep or nap. An extra highchair for meals or booster seat... Plastic eating utensils and a safe carseat. Not to scare you but, my mother in law once tried to take my son in a carseat that was atleast 30 yrs. old ! She thought since it was good enough for her son that it was ok for mine ! So, just be prepared and give them any necessary equipment they may need and instructions on how to use it ! I find that actually showing them as oppossed to the actual instruction work much better... My in-laws STILL don't know how to set-up/take down the pack n play and the instructions are on the bottom ! All in all they just want to spend time with your child and should be allowed to do so.. My in-laws are older and sometimes though they raised their two children have outdated/old fashioned ways that sometimes worry me.. Though, it hasn't been too much of an issue since my children are older. Good luck
2007-09-07 01:42:45 · answer #2 · answered by pebblespro 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you aren't.
I was exactly the same way when we took our baby at 11 months to visit my dad/stepmom.
My step went on and on about how she would watch the baby while we were out. When I got home, she was sitting in another room, talking on the phone, and my daughter was playing on the STAIRS without any supervision.
When I grabbed my daughter, out pops my 5 year old nephew, saying "I'm the babysitter today!".
That was the LAST time I ever left my baby alone with that parent.
They also don't believe in childproofing their home, so instead of blocking off stairs and electrical outlets, they preferred to SCREAM: "NO!" every time she would walk towards ANYTHING. It got to be so sad. Our daughter would sit in the middle of a big room, but could never walk outside a 2 foot area of space, or she would be screamed at.
My dad is laid back, but is always working, but my stepmom is type A all the way and could never have her own kids, so she makes up crazy ways to discipline kids.
You are right...go with your gut feeling. I expected something would go wrong, but discovered that it was much worse than what I had feared.
2007-09-07 01:39:48 · answer #3 · answered by gg 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your baby, your choice. Say you are uncomfortable about the arrangement and that they can have him until after his bath, and then you go pick him up. Nobody can tell you what to do with YOUR baby, he wont understand and three days away from you will just confuse him. tell your in laws that they are welcome to visit anytime but sleepovers are for when he is older and can make the choice himself. Maybe if he had stayed there when he was tiny quite frequently and was use to the situation it would be OK but obviously you have done all your baby's care and not farmed him out to all the rellies.
Be strong, patient and tell them how you feel without letting too much emotion rule the moment.
Good luck.
2007-09-07 01:28:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
While it is good and right for you to allow your son to get time with other people so that he doesn't have separating anxiety, I do think that 11 months old is way too young for a 3 night sleep over with Grandma. Why can't they just visit him at home? Or take him for a few hours while you go do other things?
2007-09-07 01:24:12 · answer #5 · answered by not too creative 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Three nights????
I know parents who have done this and their children are fine, but I don't think I would be able to leave my son for 3 nights at 11 months. At 11 months my son began having sleep overs with his grandparents, but I would drop him off around dinner time and pick him up after breakfast. That was long enough for me. You really need to do what you are comfortable with and not worry about offending your in-laws.
2007-09-07 01:53:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Three days is a long time, especially if it will be the first time you've been away from him! But remember that your in-laws were once parents, so they DO know what to do. Just let them know you're going to miss him and ask if they'll call you up and let him talk to you everyday :D
2007-09-07 01:24:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think its normal for a newbie mom to think like that. I did. However, it will be good for him and the inlaws to spend time together, as well as it will be good for you to have a break and to re-energize your batteries. My daughter is 7 and every now and then, I need that time alone. Those 3 days will go by so fast you won't even know it, and believe it or not, you will look forward to the next time this happens. Good luck.
2007-09-07 01:22:56 · answer #8 · answered by scvice 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That is perfectly normal. No matter who it is you are going to worry if his needs are being met and if he is happy. I have 5 children and none of them have ever stayed overnight with my in laws. I don't think that you are selfish, just being a mom. Give it a chance and if you can't handle it then go and get him.
Good Luck
2007-09-07 01:24:27 · answer #9 · answered by dawnjohnson_4 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not just one day? 3 Days is a long time... MY sons are 2 and 1 and they have either slept home with me or on that rare occasion like having to be at a hospital grandma has come to our house to stay the night....
No one says you have to let your son or daughter stay the night, so if you are uncomfortable, then just say so.
2007-09-07 01:24:03 · answer #10 · answered by michaellandonsmommy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, one night would be ok. My son started at a young age and now he can be away from my husband and I without issues. But 3 days? Too long. But you have to remember, she raised kids too, so she will know what to do when he needs something!
2007-09-07 01:26:09 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋