My boyfriend and I are wanting to move in with each other, but the mother of his child reckons that if we do, she will stop him from seeing his daughter, all because I have epilepsy! She reckons that their daughter would be a risk if I was looking after her on my own, and that there is a law in which she can do this. My epilepsy is controlled and I've been fine for a year and a half! So can she stop my boyfriend seeing his daughter because of it? We have been together for a year now.
2007-09-06 23:09:27 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
There is no law against stupidity, but there should be.
2007-09-06 23:12:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
She is being spiteful. That's as plain as the nose on your face.
She can stop your b/f from seeing his daughter any time she wants. She doesn't need a real reason just yet.
Your b/f's problem is confounded because they were not married (it does still count for something)
I believe your b/f's ex is using the child as a weapon and these types of parent are the worst type to try and reason with.
Your b/f must resist the temptation to try and reason this out with his ex face to face because he would then be giving her exactly what she is looking for: a way to have an influence over him and consequently you.
You must not allow this woman to blackmail
you in any way shape or form. You and your b/f must do what you feel is right for the two of you and if that means moving in together then do it.
Your b/f must seek legal assistance immediately regarding access to his daughter. These legal wheels move very slowly so the sooner they are put into motion the better. The family courts have all the vehicles and experts to decide who should see who when and what relevance if any your epilepsy has on bearings.
Good luck
2007-09-07 06:24:43 · answer #2 · answered by Blokheed 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no law stating this!!
As your epilepsy is controlled, there would be no proof of a risk to their daughter, and your boyfriend has as much parental right as the mother does. My advice is to take your case to a solicitor and get these things down on paper now, so that if she tries to stop his visitation rights in the future, you are prepared for it.
2007-09-07 06:35:27 · answer #3 · answered by Sue 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, she can not stop your boyfriend from seeing his daughter if your boyfriend has court ordered visitation. If he does not I suggest that he go to court and get them. She is just being vindictive. People with epilepsy have children of their own. My Aunt had 2 sons that she raised by her self. My uncle was away with the military. There are no laws saying that a person with a disability can not take care of a child. If anything there are laws that prevent people from discriminating against people with a disability,
2007-09-07 06:15:33 · answer #4 · answered by D and G Gifts Etc 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So you and your man are being blackmailed. Last time I looked, this was a reportable crime in the UK which the police are obliged to deal with. Blackmail is not a civil matter, although the police will try and wriggle it onto that hook to keep themselves off the one they are on.
That would raise all kinds of questions about the ex's fitness as a mother as well - using the child as a means of blackmail could be construed (depending upon the age of the child) as mental abuse of a minor. Abuse of a minor is also a police matter. Epilepsy can, depending upon its level of severity, be classed as a disability so she might be leaving herself wide open to a charge of discrimination.
Be nice to her - she might just be genuinely concerned for the child's safety. Have your man sit down and let her know the possible long-term consequences of her attempts to exercise undue control over his life. If he has visiting rights conferred by a Court of Law, she will need to consider what she is doing. Her actions could, if your lawyer is good enough, cost her custody of the child, especially if she was convicted of (attempted) blackmail. That still carries a mandatory prison sentence in the UK, I believe. Who would look after the nipper then?
2007-09-07 07:55:44 · answer #5 · answered by HUNNYMONSTA 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, there are many parents who have epilepsy, there are plenty who work and drive, in fact with their medication control it very well - as you do! No she can't do this, even if she could she is making an assumption that you would be looking after her on your own - pure conjecture on her part!
2007-09-07 06:47:40 · answer #6 · answered by groovymaude 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everyone is assuming that his ex is being bitchy.
People are often afraid of what they do not understand. You don't say how old his daughter is, so we cannot assess what she might see the risk to be.
Have you tried talking to her yourself and explaining how your medication controls your fits and that you are a responsible person who actually takes her meds?
Allow your boyfriend to see your daughter with you by his side and build up the trust.
And good luck.
2007-09-07 06:35:16 · answer #7 · answered by Christine H 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No she is bluffing because she is jealous of his new relationship. She is probably also afaid that you will undermine any discipline methods she has with her daughter and that her daughter will love you in the mistaken belief that this would mean that her daughter will love her less. Try and reassure her that you would not be looking after her daughter oin your own anyway. If the child comes to your place it is her father who should be there at all times - you are not there to be an unpaid babysitter for him or her.
2007-09-07 06:19:02 · answer #8 · answered by D B 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well i really feel for you . what a biatch his ex is.
She is using her kid as a weapon just to hurt him. After 2 years you will be legally able to resume driving a car so I'm sure you will be safe to look after a child. Do you have warnings before you have an episode I'm sure you do. She is just jealous and im sure social services would not call the child at risk but they may insist that until you have been clear for 2 years that the kids would not be left alone with you unattended.
good luck.
2007-09-07 06:16:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
She makes no sense. The father should ask her to cite the actual law (title, chapter, and section). When she is unable to do so, he should laugh at her.
I can't state that there is no law (since you didn't say where you are from!), but if that was a law, all single mothers with epilepsy would have to give up their kids to foster care.
2007-09-07 06:15:05 · answer #10 · answered by Bill 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
depends where your from and if he was married to her and what age the child is. Scottish Law if the child was born after 2003 then he can get visitation rights, if the child was born before then and they were never married he has no rights what so ever.
2007-09-07 08:42:43 · answer #11 · answered by Jackie M 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋