I mean, parents are suppose to be there to love you and to be there for you. But they always seem to be the ones, who i feel most distant from, who yell at me, who are over controlling, who make me miss out on good times with my friends because they are selfish, and who won't accept the fact that im growing up to be a good young lady. I dont understand why, they want me feeling this way towards them. I love them, but i don't like them no longer.
2007-09-06 22:52:57 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is almost an indelible part of growing up-- discovering that you and your parents are not identical people, with perfectly coinciding personalities, preferences, and ideas. Your parents are almost certainly looking out for your best interests, keeping in mind their experiences with their parents. You will butt heads because you have grown up in a different time, under different circumstances.
The reality is, it is the parents' job to safeguard, teach, and possibly reprimand their children. That job doesn't end at adulthood-- it is a relationship you will have all your life. Try to appreciate that while your parents may be old and stodgy on some things, they have wisdom that you don't possess.
That doesn't mean, however, you placidly roll over to their every demand. Act like an adult, not a child, and reason with them over points of dispute. You mentioned they are controlling (read: they worry about you, and want you to have a good future)... why not ask them why they won't let you do certain things? If they won't let you do certain activities, try their logic-- but also realize you might be wanting things that are less than smart.
From a college student still at odds with my parents over certain things, I've learned that having a good, adult, and candid conversation (that is respecting and open-minded) can help you understand each other-- and maybe get what you want.
2007-09-06 23:02:48 · answer #1 · answered by adverseanatomy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know how you feel. i felt exactly the same way towards my parents when i was in my early teens. now i am a parent of 2 children myself and it was only after the birth of my first child, that i actually understood them. to you it may feel they are controlling, that they make you miss out on good times. they are not being selfish, they are trying to protect you. you are something that can never be replaced. i am sure your parents know you are growing into the good young lady they have raised. some times parents forget to express the good with the bad. i am sure they trust you, it's everyone else they have trouble with. no parent wants to report their child as missing, or get a call from the hospital or police, saying you have been beaten or raped or mugged or murdered, they don't want you to experience any of that.that u have been involved in a car accident. what you think of a selfish and controlling is their way of protecting you the only way they know how. it's called tough love. try not be so hard on them, if they lost u, they would never recover, and u have the rest of your life to do the things you want. stick it out and try talk to them and come to some sort of agreement.
2007-09-07 06:13:24 · answer #2 · answered by Rae m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you feel this way. Unfortunately this problem is not uncommon. I am not saying that your parents are right but parenting is the hardest job on earth and children don't come with a set of instructions and sometimes parents do make mistakes.
What you see is controlling they see as protecting. You have to be patient with them as its very hard to see a child grow up and face the world with all its dangers.
Sitting them down and explaining how you feel and listening to them and understanding how they feel may result in a compromise which you can all live with.
2007-09-07 06:03:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i agree with you BUT.
how old are you?
if you are younger then 17. you need to grow up more. your parents are protecting you, probably not the way you want them to, but its true.
parents have a way of wanting to help and messing everything up. some just are mean and are selfish but usually when a kid says things about their own parents, usually its not true. you are probably mad cuz they wouldnt let you go out with friends and you were probably planning on meeting some guy you met online.
you see what i am saying?
some parents sense things. just try to understand and if you are 17 then you need to get a job and move out when you are 18.
good luck
2007-09-07 05:58:11 · answer #4 · answered by litlmizbeautiful 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That hapopens when you are a teenager. I could tell you why, but you would never understand it now. Just know that they are doing what they feel is best for you, and you will reap the benefits of what they are doing later in life. For now, just give the the benefit of the doubt. They deserve at least that much.
2007-09-07 05:56:58 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i guess we have the same condition don't we ?
well parents are sometimes wants what best for their children.
you've to remain patience at all time , when we became a parents one day , we'll know why our parents are doing this to us.
best of luck .
2007-09-07 05:57:21 · answer #6 · answered by Elriowiel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are not the source of u pain they wanna help u even i used to think like u are now litsen to them i give u my word u will be in benefit
2007-09-07 08:03:18 · answer #7 · answered by eragon_rehan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They love you and that is the bottomline.
2007-09-07 06:29:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋