What would you do in my situation?

Question

I'm just shy of 28 years old and I'm considering giving up my career (currently working in Germany and making over $100K a year) to move back to my small town in Kansas to be with my family. My stepfather has brain cancer and the doctors only gave him a year to live. I'm considering moving back which will more than likely end my career in communications as there aren't really any jobs back home, but my family is VERY important to me.

I'm going to go ahead and move back and figure something out, but I just want to know what you would do in my situation.

Answer 1

Get a job that involves commuting to a larger area city (try within an hour of your home) after the move. You can start looking now. If you're making six figures, you must have an impressive resume, and I'm sure that employers will be banging down your door. Good luck, and God bless.

Answer 2

Your family is very important to you and I am sure that you are very important to your family. Have you discussed this with your stepfather? What did he say about it? Moving back while admirable may not be what your family needs. Your stepfather does not want to see you give up your career. If anything he is proud of what you have accomplished and only wants to see you go further in life. The last thing that he wants to have to worry about is causing his son to loose his career. I do not know if you work for an American Company in Germany. If you do there is a Family and Medical leave act. This enables a person to take 12 weeks to care for someone without loosing their jobs or benefits. I would suggest that you look into that and also talk to your dad about it. Only he can tell you what he needs and wants during this time. You and your family will remain in my thoughts and prayers as you travel this road.

Answer 3

I'm a bit surprised you can't take a leave of absence for family reasons. (Not working for a German company?) When my mom had cancer on the West coast while I was on the East coast, I would spot a supersaver fare, fly in, cook and froze a bunch of meals for her and my dad, and fly home 5 or 7 days later.

It's a longer haul getting from DE to Kansas. The connections are probably not good. And it's expensive. But it's not so expensive as totally giving up on a career. And you don't risk saddling dad's last year with the guilt of trashing your career aspirations.

If you are worth $100,000+, they'll hold some sort of a job for you, or accept your demand for 10 days off a month plus a pay cut. 10 days in KS and 20 in DE will do a job on your head, but you're already dealing with family and cancer and death. Life will be painful and intense and strange, regardless. Having something as normal as work will probably be a blessing.

Also, your dad may need things to be dull and normal part of the time...whatever even slightly approximates his routine. Try to leave without burning bridges.

Answer 4

You could possibly take a leave of absence. Family is very important; not returning may be a decision you regret for the rest of your life.

Talk to your employer about the situation. There may be options to return at a later time. In the meanwhile, research your options in Kansas. If you can find work in a related or similar field, returning to a position like you currently hold may not be terribly difficult.

In your situation, I would return but not give up hope of that communications career. Think of it as a detour that may well put your life in perspective.

Answer 5

Hi Phiber, I would do the same thing you are doing. You need to be there for your family in a terrible thing like this. If you didn't go you would never forgive your self for not spending time with your dieing Step dad. You much of had a close relationship with him. I think you are doing the right thing and the only thing you could do. I am really sorry about your Step Dad just be there with him and help your family out with what they will have to go threw in a few months.
A Friend.
poppy1

Answer 6

well if i did love my stepfather, i would definitely move back to be with him. life is more important than money to me. i'm sure you haven't lost all hope of finding at least a similar job...you can go back to germany after a while. but yeah, it would only feel right to go be with my family.

Answer 7

In your situation, I would stay in Germany. I understand that family is important. But you're making really good money in Germany, and you still don't have a stable job in the states, which is very dangerous. Especially if you're reliable for your father-in-law's medical bills. I suggest this:
Go to the states to visit AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE. As you're doing that, while visiting family, look for a job where you would potentially be earning that much money yearly.
I hope this helps! If it doens't, then it's understandable because I'm only 13!

Answer 8

I would move back. If your career is in communications, perhaps you can look for a job in the Kansas City or Wichita area, and let them know of your situation. Perhaps they would be willing to train you for a while and then let you telecommute.

Answer 9

Just like you, Family is more important to me.
I would definitely go back to my home.
Jobs will always be there even after couple of years from now. If you have a caliber you can do better that what you are doing professionally right now.
Just follow your heart !

Answer 10

Move my family to germany with me. I wouldnt want to end my life ahead of me. Dont get me wrong, but if i were dying, i wouldnt want to know i was the cause of my kids future going down the tubes. Visit, vacation, I dont know, but think of how he would feel knowing this.