A high school student of mine named Alma poses this question. Could you please address your answers to her? Thank you. They really enjoy seeing their questions answered by people from all over.
2007-09-06 18:07:05 · 46 answers · asked by red baron 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey Alma,
Anything is possible, and if they are genuinely committed to making the marriage last, maybe it will.
But what I've seen with people who got married young is that they didn't get a chance explore life, and to find out who they were as individuals before taking the plunge. They wound up divorced because
a) they wondered what they missed by getting marrying early, and wanted to be free to find out, or
b) they matured into people who just weren't right for each other.
2007-09-06 18:23:49 · answer #1 · answered by Lee 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think for those people who have been married for 30 plus years back than the only life people knew was to get married straight out of high school. Now adays you tell me that a 18 year old even remotley understands how to be an adult its not the same. An 18 year old in 1970 was an adult back than and wasnt called a baby.. now adays an 18 year old is a baby and has no business getting married. If we all married our high school loves we would all end up divorced now adays. These days 18 year olds are only interested in hooking up and making money.. I highly doubt any marraige now would last between 2 young people. I married in my mid 20's and I heard what a baby I was and now when I think about it what was the rush.. I say enjoy life and if you are still together in a few years than get married.
2007-09-14 15:02:45 · answer #2 · answered by neicygreeneyes2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I (male) was married at 21 to ex who was 19. We were high school sweethearts. No children to get in the way and yet, we still had not experienced life. We were married 7 plus years and then divorced. We were room mates, we still loved each other but we had not ever lived our lives, we got into the work and school thing and just never grew together. The answer from me would be that you must grow on your own first, determine who you are and then get with the person you love and stay forever. I am in my second marriage and 14 years later, could not be happier. There is only type of marriage, a happy on none at all. Divorce does not say your a bad person, it just says you made a bad choice.
Good luck.
2007-09-14 09:08:13 · answer #3 · answered by Clay R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the couple. I was married to my 'high school sweetheart' - we met in Grade 13 - and lasted 25 years - but that was about 10 years too long.
I found that we grew as people, emotionally and intellectually I became a totally different person in my 30's then the young woman he married at 20. He had difficulty accepting that growth and it put a lot of stress on our relationship.
I decided to end it after 25 years and it's been hard but everyone supports me and wondered what took me so long to do it.
I have encouraged my children to wait and take their time with relationships. My sons have done so but my daughter is in a serious relationship at a young age and that's scary to me. I know what it is like to feel love so strongly and think "this is it", take the leap and then regret it.
Have fun sorting out the answers!!
2007-09-14 08:45:43 · answer #4 · answered by xxxxi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read somewhere that a person really isn't an "adult" until they are about 25 or 26, when their decisions are more mature and not so juvenile, and are well thought-out and better.
I married when I was 19. It didn't last. However, when I married the second time, I decided that I would wait for a person who I felt would be good for me and good for him, and one who was my friend.
When people marry young, it tends to be for the wrong reasons, such as lust or infatuation. There is an aspect of friendship that gets left out of the decision and ultimately, that is what keeps a marriage stable. Anything other than an adult decision is mostly based on impulse.
I recommend waiting. It is worth it to find the right person at the right time. Divorce is hard, especially for young people.
2007-09-13 12:20:45 · answer #5 · answered by Debi N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I got married when I was 18 and she was 17. The next day our son was born. We have been married nearly 9 years now and our marriage is and has always been great. We work together really well. She is my best friend and our marriage just gets better and better. We now have 4 great kids.
It was really hard starting out. We struggled financially and getting through college has been difficult. I have an AS Degree and am working toward becoming a Marriage and Family Councilor. Marrying young makes things a lot harder, but marital success is possible if your willing to work together. Our experience is not typical. I think many people who marry young lack maturity and responsibility.
I credit our success to the following...
1. Our willingness to work together and rely on one another.
2. Our religious beliefs.
3. Our willingness to continually develop relationship skills (ie communication, conflict resolution, etc.).
4. Our love and respect for each other.
5. Reading a lot of self help books together.
2007-09-13 11:50:50 · answer #6 · answered by atomzer0 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A young marriage can go the distance. I was 17 and my husband 16 when we married. We've been married for 32 years and he is my soul mate and best friend. Our marriage has not been an easy one as we both needed to grow up while being married. Then there is a time when your about late 30's and wonder if this is what you really want. If you can weather literally growing up together, overlooking some major mistakes because your young, and still maintain laughable, fun times together, and respect eachother's ideas and opinions then yes, young marriages can work and do work.
2007-09-14 06:43:59 · answer #7 · answered by beaches 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That could be a yes or a no. My first marriage was when i was 19 . It lasted 9 month, not very long. I am now 33 and been in a relationship for 8 years and married for 5 of those.
2007-09-13 10:26:50 · answer #8 · answered by tinkerbell 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alma, I got married at 17 and separated at 22 with two children and divorced at 23. We were together from the time we were 16, statistics say most teen marriages don't work, very few stay together but nowadays alot of ppl are divorcing at all ages. Alot of ppl have different issues they don't know how to deal with and this effects the family unit greatly. It all depends on the couple!
2007-09-07 18:23:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anything is possible, of course. But I would say the odds are against it. With a 50% divorce rate, why compound the odds? Most people really haven't figured out what they are about until they have had a chance to mature. Wisdom comes with age. I married the first time at 21 and I feel I was clearly too young and ended up getting a divorce after about five years.
There is life after high school, believe me, and plenty of time to figure out what you want to do with your life. I would wait.
2007-09-14 17:31:05 · answer #10 · answered by drewxjacobs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋