I walked aimlessly
Through the dark path,
An endless maze
Of old memories,
Of mournful pasts.
There was no meaning to life.
No sun
To light my way.
No shoulder
To cry on.
No one
To share my pain.
All alone.
That was my life before I met you.
Your smile
Is my sun,
An ever lasting light
To guide my way.
Your words
Are my shoulder,
And endless box of tissues
That will dry all of my tears.
You
Have made the change in my life.
One so large,
It is now impossible to take back.
You are the one reason I can live through each and everday.
You mean so much to me,
And through this poem,
I want to tell you that
I love you.
I hope you liked it. I've had poetry assignments, but this is my first poem to someone.
2007-09-06 18:06:02 · 26 answers · asked by jasmine 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Mmm......Please keep in mind that this is my first poem that I put lots of effort into? So yah...beginner.
2007-09-06 18:24:56 · update #1
I'M A GIRL.
that special person wrote me a few poems for me...so i decided to write one for him.
I'M A GIRL.
2007-09-06 20:58:45 · update #2
OMG ure so much better ten i love you to jasmine i love the poem
2007-09-06 20:59:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think the heart behind it is beautiful. But from a critics stand point the poem could use some improving. Imagery is stronger then bluntly stating exactly how you feel, but the imagery needs to make sense which is sometimes difficult. Also your rythm is inconsistant.
These technical devices however don't mean a thing to the one recieving the poem. All that really matters is that you took the time and had the courage to open up to that person in such an intimate way.
However, before you give the poem away i would make sure everything in it is true and doesn't just sound good becuase it will definatly provoke ideas about your relationship in your significant others mind. ;)
2007-09-07 01:15:00 · answer #2 · answered by stacy 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You got me.
Can I have the kleenex please???
Now, remember, you're only 13 yrs. old so I hope this is to your mother, father or someone you know well; just save it none the less and I'll copy it if you don't mind.
I won't copy it, don't worry.
You're 13, remember that!!!
2007-09-07 01:26:53 · answer #3 · answered by cut-it-out 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this part is really good...i like it
"No sun
To light my way.
No shoulder
To cry on.
No one
To share my pain.
All alone."
2007-09-07 01:11:57 · answer #4 · answered by xxmickey_loverxx 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That is one of the best poems I've ever read.
2007-09-07 01:09:26 · answer #5 · answered by Nico 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Hey,
Its beautiful.
Really.
2007-09-07 01:10:21 · answer #6 · answered by Victoria. 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I like it! It could be read by William Shatner.
2007-09-07 01:10:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!
its so special when you write somthing like that for someone you love and you poor all your feelings into a song or a poem.
i know that whoever that special someone you wrote it for will love it too and cherish it for all time because it came from you special for her and it expresses your love for her and it is so romantic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-09-07 03:37:01 · answer #8 · answered by ♥musiclover♥ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
omg this poem is sooo cool, its better than any of those poems u find in the hotcomments poems. idk y but i like it a lot, its really good...is it plagerism if i copy this poem? lol jk
2007-09-07 01:11:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Not bad! Thumbs up. Keep at it.
2007-09-07 01:11:26 · answer #10 · answered by r0cky74 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋