I been marryed for 9 months and its falling apart. I love him but he doset belive it. He dosent care anymore. To be honest i dont think he really truly ever did. I want to be with him and happy with him but if you ask him thats not what i want what do you do when one has givin up but you didnt?
2007-09-06 17:14:40 · 15 answers · asked by bacardi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let him go and learn to love yourself more than you love him.
2007-09-06 17:18:37 · answer #1 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't make a man stay if he doesn't want to , just the same as you can't make him leave if he doesn't want to. I'm sure it was nothing you did, he just isn't ready or mature enough for a marriage. I have been through a divorce also, and yes it does hurt. You are going to have to let him go if that's what he wants. Begging or all the counseling in the world won't make him change his mind. The best thing to do at this point is to gather strength and move on. I'm sure he knows that you love him, but he blames you to shift the blame and have an excuse why things are going the way that they are. It's alot easier to leave someone who supposedly doesn't love you. Start doing things to improve yourself, like school or the gym and other things that you enjoy, but will also keep you busy and better you as a person. Get a lawyer and file papers. The sooner you start the healing process and move on the better off you will be. Each day gets easier and I know right now you may feel like it's the end of the world, but speaking from experience time heals all wounds. Good luck
2007-09-07 01:02:54 · answer #2 · answered by mimi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
9 mo. You haven't even started or apparently tried. If it is true you can't make someone love you. Don't be a clinging vine. Try and talk if that doesn't work maybe you got married too fast you don't know each other well. It takes time marriage isn't perfect.My husband and I have been married for over 40 years and believe me we had our differences. But we hung in there. It is too easy to get a divorce now days and everyone wants to end it instead of working together when you find out you don't agree on everything. Good Luck
2007-09-07 00:26:59 · answer #3 · answered by adairangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has only been 9 months but if things are as you describe them it might have been a big mistake to marry this man in the first place. Do not try to solve one mistake with anothe.If he does not love you it does not matter what you want, you cannot make him have feelings that he does not have. You should not waste anymore time on a dead relationship. Get out now and go find your true love.
2007-09-07 00:48:59 · answer #4 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If counselling isn't an option because he truly has checked out of the relationship, move on now, before you get even more invested. No matter how much you love him, if he doesn't love you back, you will always be miserable with him. Staying for years in hopes that things will change will only complicate things for you (and any kids you might have) later on.
2007-09-07 00:29:27 · answer #5 · answered by Kitten 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It hurts like hell but be glad you know this now and not 1,2 or 3 years down the line. Find the person that "fits" you. Take time for yourself. You need to grieve and let this pain wash through you. When you find love again (and you will) this will all seem like a distant memory.
Best of luck, been there.
2007-09-07 00:24:28 · answer #6 · answered by "wheels" 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The easy answer is to cut your losses and get a divorce. BAD CHOICE! You married, it is for life!! (Unless he is abusive or a cheater). So, get your behinds into counseling. Find a strong married couple to be your mentors. Show him, tell him how much your marriage means to you. There has to be some reason why he is wanting out. What is your part in this??? Figure it out, and CORRECT IT! Good luck!
2007-09-07 00:26:27 · answer #7 · answered by cunhvn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You seem very vague. I'm guessing there's a lot more to this. People don't just stop loving, in such a short, time without reason. The fact that you haven't mentioned any more, makes me think that it won't gain you sympathy. So it is conveniently left out. If you've disrespected him. He should leave you. And................ you don't love him. You only think you do.
2007-09-07 00:46:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. theres nothing you can do. If you have tried talking to him and he just plain don't care, theres no need for you to humiliate yourself. Remember things happen for a reason, don't loose your time and energy on a relationship that is not working. If you stay he will not respect you and treat you even worse.
2007-09-07 00:27:41 · answer #9 · answered by Jess F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all its hard to love someone when they dont love you back but if you are still in love with him. If he never did love you i cant understand how he married you in the first place. Its hard to be with someone when they dont love you i can understand that but is he in love with you like you are in love with him theres a difference in love its caring and wainting to be with that special someone that gives you butter flies and than their is just plain lust for one another. Dont give up on love try and work it out.
best of luck
2007-09-07 00:26:40 · answer #10 · answered by mmurray001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry him if he didn't love you and you weren't sure?
9 months isn't that much time for him to have changed his mind.
2007-09-07 00:25:28 · answer #11 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋