Is it better to fight for what you want, or leave it all to fate?

Question

With all of the different philosophies being thrown around in the form of cheesy cliche sayings, which one seems to actually work? So, when it comes to matters of the heart, is it better to fight for what you want or leave it to fate?

Wow, everyone has given amazingly detailed answers. Thank you for your consideration. I'll add a few details to make things easier. My now ex-boyfriend and I dated for a year and recently broke up. He says he still wants to be friends and maybe even lovers again one day. However, I feel that if he'd given us another chance, we could have fixed the problems we had. I just don't know if I should keep trying to contact him and stay in his life (which he doesn't make too easy at times) so that he doesn't forget me, or just let him go, contact me when he wants to, and leave it to fate. Thanks again for your input!

Oh! One more thing... This was a "first serious relationship" for both us. (With many other "firsts" thrown in the mix if you know what I mean...)

Sorry again! Last thing, I promise. He's away at college in another state, which makes communication even harder, but he hardly instant messages me and I avoid IMing him first because I don't want to irritate him.

Answer 1

Fighting for love doesn't work. I think a good effort put forth is the best you can do. You cannot force someone to love you or want to be with you. Like a lawyer state your case (show your love) and see what happens. If it doesn't let it go.

Answer 2

If you were the only person in the equation, then these two options might be your only 2 choices. I mean if it only involved you, then you could decide between fighting for what you want or leaving it to fate.

But reality is much much more complex than that. In matters of the heart, there is an entire other person in the mix. You two are in fact interdependent. This means that the way you treat the other changes the way they treat you and vice-versa.

So, if you both just leave it to fate, then, well, nothing happens. If you both just fight for what you want, independently, then the relationship is a battle of wills.

You have to realize that in love, 1 + 1 does not equal 2. There is something extra to be gained by the interdependence. Something new can be created by the give and take, something greater achieved than either can do independently. Focus on that and the answers will come to you in every situation.

Answer 3

Both, this is the universe, nothings black or white, i believe you should fight for everything, and when you don't win submit to the universe or fate and move on to the next battle. It can be looked at as one more paradox, just as we are all the same yet completely different, having similar experiences (in essence probably the exact) but a separate identity, hope this helps.

Answer 4

Fight what you want or Leave it to fate..?

Fight what you want: I won't call it fight.... I would say this...
Want something is not enough taking steps to get what you make the difference.

Leave it to fate: karma... huh... not good stuff as it is a cycle ... some people believe in a negative cycle and the end up just that. If it positive that good.

Law of nature.... what we energy we sent out we will get back....

Answer 5

Only fight for that which you have control over. If I have something that you want, you will always be at my mercy. I then will have the power over your happiness, and I could take it away at any time.

If you have to fight that hard for anything, you may want to consider if want you want is actually worth the amount suffering that you are having to endure.

If you want things, remember that they are only things. If you want someone, remember we are all free citizens and we cannot posses another.

As well, just because we want something doesn't mean that it is good for us or will bring us anything but a momentary happiness. That is where 'be careful what you wish for comes from'.

As a friend told me, her friend wanted to spend more time with her son. He fell of a roof and broke his back. She now has all the time each day to spend with him. (An extreme example, but true nonetheless.)

Answer 6

The right answer is that it depends.

Sometimes, you need to fight and sometimes, it's better you walk away.

Knowing when to do what and making the right decision is what differentiate winners from losers.

That is why some people succeed and some fail.

Because if you get the sequence wrong, then you get double negatives. However, if you get the sequence right, you move forward twice as fast.

Life is all about choices and making the right moves.

Answer 7

You have to at least try to get what you want, the more you want it the harder you should fight for it, never count on fate to hand it to you, expescialy in love - you have to let the person know that you like them (still love them, etc.) because they may not bother guessing.

Answer 8

Fight for what you believe in, work for what you want! It makes no sense to leave anything of value up to an untangable foce that is not proven or controled. Its easy to believe in something, but to fight takes character. Never back down.

Answer 9

I don't see fighting for love but I also don't see leaving it to the fates. I think you should work toward your goals and if love is one of them, be creative, impress the lady or guy.

Answer 10

well you really have to make it work right? so you have to fight but also make it flow on its own just make sure that you mistake fate by leaving all to time. you also have to give it a little help once in a while.