My husband and I had a huge blowout 3 days ago. Actually he just went off about how sick and tired he is of being here with me and the kids. He said he was leaving but he keeps coming home. We have been talking about seperating lately so I have ever reason to think he is serious. It isn't about the money because we have an empty rental property he can move into and he has plenty of cash in his seperate account. He has apologized but when I asked him why he is still here he says, don't worry he is leaving. My question is whether this behavior seems normal? If he is going, why does he keep coming back looking sad? And is it too soon for me to be shopping around for a divorce attorney?
I never said I wanted him to leave but I am sick and tired of everytime he gets upset he threatens to leave. A person can only take so much. Other than his lack of control over his anger, we have no other issues.
The fight had nothing to do with me (as usual) he was upset about something at work but I am always his whipping post when he is upset.
2007-09-06 14:14:31 · 9 answers · asked by PharmNerd 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You just hit the nail on the head you said your husband came home from work an was upset by what happen at work he is under a lot of pressure maybe He just needs to vent his anger but he vents it on you instead of the person he really wants to confront. sometimes couples need some alone time to are you still in love with your husband and want him to control his anger so try to get him to talk about whats going on the job because i am quite sure he still in love with you.
best of luck
2007-09-06 14:23:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the best person to judge if your husband is serious about leaving you and the kids. Has he been acting this way for a long time or only recently. Do you think the reason he keeps coming back after telling you that he is sick and tired of being with you and the kids, is simply because of his inability to control his temper. What about your conversation about the possibility of separation. Regardless of his real intent, how do you feel about your marriage? Do you want to get out of it at this time? If so, then it is time for you to consider hiring a divorce lawyer.
2007-09-06 14:31:42 · answer #2 · answered by Belen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he cheating? I know that one of the first signs in my relationships, was that he would pick a fight with me, over nothing. I could say "Hi, how was your day?", and he would start yelling at me, about god knows what. Next thing you know, we're in a huge fight, he's threatening to leave me, because "he's tired of me being this, and me doing that". And in the end I'm left wondering why we even started fighting in the first place...sound familiar?
Maybe there are deeper issues going on, then you are aware of?
Either way, you deserve better. And yes, I would start looking at divorce attorneys.
2007-09-06 14:26:39 · answer #3 · answered by Miss V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs to get counselling... but he only will if he admits he needs help... firstly.. try sitting down with him and talk to him in a not so confrontational and very calm manner... assure him that you are there for him and ask him what's wrong... tell him you want it to work... and you need to help each other... and you just need to know what's going on.... if he tells you... you can take if from there... but if he doesn't and stays unpredictable as he is... then he needs some professional help.. dont get a divorce attorney yet.... after all this time... you might be the only person who can help him whatever it is that he's going through right now... that's why he keeps on coming back... trust me, time will come that you won't ask anymore if it's too soon to get a divorce attorney, you'll just know that you have to get one....
God bless you...
2007-09-06 14:22:51 · answer #4 · answered by terra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI THERE
YOU BOTH HAVE CHILDREN TO THINK ABOUT YOU HAVE TO SIT AND REALLY TALK THINGS OUT FIGHTING CAN CAUSE PEOPLE TO SAY THINGS NOT COMING FROM THE HEART AND THAT REALLY HURTS. MAYBE IF YOU BOTH TAKE A VACATION TOGETHER AND LEAVE THE KIDS WITH SOMEONE YOU TRUST EVEN FOR A WEEK LIKE A HONEYMOON . BUT WHEN IT COMES TO BREAKING UP AND THEIR ARE KIDS U REALLY HAVE TO BOTH BE CALM ABOUT THE SITUATION AND THINK AND TALK THINGS OUT.MAYBE IN STAND OF GETTING AN ATTORNEY FOR DIVORCE GET SOME KIND OF THERAPY MARRIAGE IF THINGS STILL DO NOT WORK OUT YOU BOTH DECIDE THE NEXT STEP. MAYBE WORK IS HITTING HIM HARD OR MAYBE THE BILLS IT SOUNDS LIKE HIS IN ALOT OF STRESS AND YOUR HIS WIFE TRY TO FIND OUT BE CALM ABOUT THE WHOLE THING OK .
YOU KNOW LIVING IN AMERICA IS NOT EASY WHEN LIVING STANDARDS ARE FLYING RIGHT UP OUR ROOFS EVERYTHING IS GOING UP AS WE SPEAK AND ALL WE CAN DO IS WORK WORK AND WE NEVER SEE THE MONEY IT DOES STRESS ANYONE IN TIMES OF HARDSHIP.
BE WELL BE SAFE GOD BLESS
2007-09-06 14:30:05 · answer #5 · answered by sugarlove_one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband use to do the same exact thing to me. whenever he got mad about anything or we had even the smallest fight he threatened me with divorce! we had 2 children together and were married for 5 years....needless to say i took it for 5 years and we are now divorced! but you definetly need to set him straight and tel him you cant keep puttin yourself through that! he either needs to work through things and be with you or tell you that he wants out and get out! its not fair to you at all! my ex husband did the same thing though.. he would always throw divorce at me every time he was mad and leave for weeks at a time and when he got ready he would come home and threatin some more! im here to tell you that crap gets old and you deserve better so tell him how you feel! but i wish you the best of luck!
2007-09-06 14:24:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you tried telling him how you feel or going to a counsler...I mean the way he`s acting is childish...you know men are nuts, I use to date someone like that...everytime he got mad he said, I`m leaving I`m not talking to you anymore, dont even call me...and I was the one acting childish...PLEASE...anyways, he left but he (still came back) until I stop letting him still come back. none of the fights were my fault either...so until he actually lives up to his statements then you`ll know its 4 real, best wishes & may god bless you!
2007-09-06 14:25:41 · answer #7 · answered by cleanheart 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is unbalanced---get an attorney -- start the divorce ---ask the attorney about a restraining order cause of his temper...
2007-09-06 14:21:25 · answer #8 · answered by Gerald 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he wants you to say please do not leave.
My husband use to constantly use the Divorce card during arguments. I finally just looked at him calmly and said, darling what ever you need to do....... He hasn't used it since.
I don'r know if that was something he heard in his parents marriage or what... but I was tired of him throwing it at me. My parents never faught like that....
2007-09-06 14:24:13 · answer #9 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋