Wife and sex???

Question

I am going to ask the age old question.......How do I get my wife of 10 years interested in sex? When its good its good. Sometimes i get so frustrated though. I would like some opinions form married women why this happens and what to do to turn it around.

Answer 1

Dont bother the candles melted & the flames out. Find a fresh candle.

Answer 2

I would need more info to really be able to help you out. Do you have kids? How old are the kids if you do have them? Is she a stay at home mom or does she work outside the home? Do you help her around the house or does she have to nag you to get the trash taken out? Do you take her out for romantic dinners just the 2 of you, like a date?? Have you tried to just help her to relax without sex having to come into play?

Basically I'm saying that her life maybe a bit hectic and she maybe tired. If you offer a shoulder massage occasionally it would help. Make supper for her some night and do the clean up afterward. Hire a babysitter and just treat her to dinner or a movie or just a long walk in the park holding hands. If you remember all the things you did to woo her before you were married 10 years ago and start dating her all over again, the adult way, she will be able to relax and you will be getting it more often. Don't forget about her needs when you do get it. If you just get on and get off she will get bored and not want to give it up cause it will be the same old same old. I hope something I said will help. Good Luck

Answer 3

After a while, life, kids, jobs, etc. sometimes we just get tired, we are so used to the "daily routein" a special time is not built in I guess. I can't answer for your wife of course but I know for me, I am comfortable with my husband we are both happy. If we have sex twice a week good, more is better but if we are busy & only hit one night on the weekend that is fine to as we do our good nights with hugs, kisses & love. Maybe your wife feels, "old, fat, unattractive" in some way, this can sure take away your zip. Make sure she knows you still love her, tell her she looks nice today, make a slightly "racey remark" to her, give her pat on the butt once in awhile. Make a date, tell her to get ready she's going out for dinner & take her to a nice quiet dark place, act like young lovers again, hold her hand. Wish I could give you more insite but these are some of the things I know I like when my husband does them & I do for him.

Answer 4

You need to do a few different things. Wives like it when you help around the house, help with the kids, talk, laugh, and have fun everyday. We also like cards, flowers, holding hands, kisses, and hugs. We like romantic sex and sometimes wild and crazy sex. Take a shower together, give her a back massage, brush her hair, and spend a night in a hotel. There is so many things that puts us in a good mood for sex. It takes work every day of the week. Try to do at least one thing a day from above, it does make a difference.

Answer 5

With married women, and I'm one, if its not happening in the bedroom, you have to ask yourself, what is happening outside it.
Are you loving and attentive, when sex isn't involved? Does she feel like every cuddle has you thinking of the bedroom?Are you helpful and interested in her life? Does SHE feel like she is a priority in your life, or do you have so much on in yours that she comes in a lot lower on the list? Do you do things because she wants to, or are most of the things in your lives together based on your interests?
Is she well - not sick, overworked, tired, or depressed? Her health can and does affect her libedo.
If all else fails, ask HER what would make HER feel more amourous. She might give you moer of what you want, if you give her more of what she does too.

Answer 6

More often than not people let themselves go after years of marriage. The sexual attraction that was once there has faded, you have to get that back. How do you do that you may ask, well for starters appear sexy to her. Women do not like fat nasty stinky men who have poor hygiene, if this doesn't apply to you then great, but if it does you need to change.

Next, women are emotional animals unlike men, we are very logical animals. You have to play to this fact by giving her lots of compliments, always reassuring her that she's important to you, make her laugh, and let her know when you appreciate something she's done for you.

This is all basic information that we lose sight of after years of marriage. The biggest one however is our physical appearance, you have to realize that and be willing to change it if need be. Some may call it shallow but it's human nature to be attracted to someone that has a great body compared to someone that looks like a sack of shiite.

Answer 7

Well you don't say if you have children ... if your wife works outside the home ... if she has some help or suffers from this peculiarly American condition of having to do everything oneself. She may simply be tired.

If you have kids, try taking them out of her hair for a bit. You take over bedtime. Send her romantic emails during the day. Send her flowers for no reason. Get her a gift card for the spa .... buy her some fabulous lingerie (I have included a link to my favorite) ... get a babysitter and arrange a special evening out - just the two of you ... try some fantasy role play (I've included a link to a good one too).

Answer 8

Sex for women starts outside of the bedroom. When a woman is stressed out from work ,kids. cleaning house..whatever sex can fee like one more chore. Do you romance her even when u dont want sex? Help her around the house? She more likely to be more responsive if you take some of the pressure off of her.

Answer 9

Women tend to feel everything becomes ordinary and expected. Try some spontonaeity without expecting sex. The less pressure she feels and the sexier she feels the more likely she is to come over to your side of the fence. Try leaving her little notes saying " I love you" or "I miss you", call her in the middle of the day just to ask her how her day is going and come home with a handful of wild flowers or a single long stemmed rose. It's really the little things that make the biggest difference.

Answer 10

I'll answer your question if you answer mine. Why does a man , for four years, refuse to try viagra or show any sexual interest in his wife, who exercises, is vibrant, interesting, involved, hard working, and fun loving?? Is it just 24/7 laziness?? No interest, hobbies, friends? It's so demeaning, to a woman, who craves sexual/warm relationship & has attention from other men but not her husband? Would divorce be the answer? Or affair?? We should meet (smiling)

Answer 11

Just be romantic. Do nice things for her. Take out the garbage without having to be asked, put your clothes in the hamper, etc.
Show some extra attention without it having to lead to sex and it just naturally will.