Soon they plan of getting married this year. My sister is doubtful if it would be a healthy marriage since they will be responsible of the 5 kids from his previous relationship. The man and my sis are in their 30s...right time for marriage but is he the right one for her?....i think my sis has to sacrifiice so much of herself for the man if they will marry soon.
2007-09-06 13:41:36 · 14 answers · asked by ying 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To me this man is a big red flag of trouble and if your sister is already doubtful, she shouldn't be marrying him. She will not be able to overcome that previous lack of commitment and the fact that he never married the mother. I would wonder about his ability to commit to her and for how long. And forget kids of her own. Unless he's a wealthy man, how many more can he support?
2007-09-06 13:53:36 · answer #1 · answered by dawnb 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she has her eyes open wide then she knows she is not just marrying a man but becoming a mum , if she's never been around kid's of her own then she is living in a fantasy world he's 30 and has 5 kid's ? wheres their mother/s?.
Ask her if she is prepared to raise these kid's , financially , emotionally , paying for their education , cooking for them , being there when they get emotional , its a huge step to marry someone , its a deeper step to marry someone with kids'.
They fight , they argue , they punch , pinch , call name's , lie to get the other's in trouble to cover what they've done , its just how they are not all the time of course , they will have good days where they go out play and have fun bbq's , birthday's christmas , halloween .
Trust me she needs to think this through you dont just marry someone with kid's without making sure your ready.
Marriage is always a sacrifice , but your right marrying a man with this many kid's is a big sacrifice again where are the mum's?.
2007-09-06 13:58:12 · answer #2 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. My mother hooked up with my step father when both were in their thirties. Both had many children. All they do is complain about the other ones kids. And all the so called sacrifices... It is very important not that she only accept his children in their lives. But that the children accept her as well. I can tell you this because I know. If the children don't want or they feel the step parent is an intruder in their lives. They can make that person's life as miserable as they feel theirs has been made. I pity her if she thinks the feeling she has for this man can concur all. As in the huge responsibility she will be taking on. Plus those kids have a so called mother or relatives by her. Those are things to deal with as well. 5 kids not hers, wow. I don't know her and I feel bad for her.
2007-09-06 14:26:51 · answer #3 · answered by Red Rose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only she will know if this is right or not... she has to look deep within herself and ask if this is a good space to move into. If she has ANY doubt I would say to back off a little. Children are a lot of work and raising other women's children is such a big challenge. She will have to ask if she loves the man and the five children. she has to be prepared to do that, or it will not work... for any of them...
2007-09-06 13:51:20 · answer #4 · answered by just me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they have only been seeing each other alittle over a year and five kids are involved she definitely needs more time to see if this is what she really wants and see if this man is just looking for a babysitter for his kids instead of a wife.....
2007-09-06 14:40:34 · answer #5 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What exactly are you asking?
There is nothing you can really do about who sis marries, no matter how much of a jerk you think he is.
You could voice your concerns to her, tell her you love her and although you don't agree with her choice, you will supporther and wish her the best.
Be a shoulder for her to cry on later if it doesn't work out.
2007-09-06 13:52:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
first of all,your are asking if the man is the right one for your sister.in love,as i always say,it is not a matter of finding the right person but it is a matter of making the person you find the right one for you.you are not in a position to say that he is not the right person for your sister.only she can tell whether he is.if you say that your sister has a lot to sacrifice then probably she really loves the guy so much.
2007-09-07 02:52:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you find the person you love, and decide to love them for life. Then you accept what ever they come with. As a guy when we meet a woman and she has any kids that is part of her we take it or leave it.
2007-09-06 14:11:50 · answer #8 · answered by xxgq 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well there are 2 things your sister can do.. she can be a stepmom and get involved or she can step out side and let her husband handle everything thing.. it all depends on how his ex's take to her and the children.. my bf ex is a pain is the A hole so i step away from the 2 little one.. the other one .. i will get to know , and i will get to know the other 2 when they are older
2007-09-06 14:06:44 · answer #9 · answered by vis 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she should start using her head, not just her heart. this world is not all about love, love, love. what about the responsibilities? the expenses? believe me, it's very hard to deal with somebody else's kids. i had a bf who has 3 kids, and i couldn't stand it. i'm just glad that it's all over now.
2007-09-06 16:16:12 · answer #10 · answered by noanswer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋