how to i feel more secure about myself and like myself?

Question

i just hate myself... i'm short, ugly, so thin, and just so shy and quiet! when someone doesn't come up and talk to me i feel something is wrong and i let it ruin my day... when someone looks at the hairstyle i've done i feel like it's all weird and i tell myself why i did this...i don't feel like wearing something i bought that i liked cause i feel like people will look at me weird and stuff...i can't be myself. i feel so intimidated by the world. i don't even have a life. i don't have friends and i keep worrying about this...i can't concentrate on my school and family stuff.

Answer 1

-You must have atleast one friend. And if you are happy with that friend then that's all the friends you need!
-set small daily goals for yourself such as: doing one thing that you love to do without worrying about what people think. I'm not saying it will be easy. It takes practisepractisepractise.
-start by inviting a friend somewhere and wear something new
-Everytime a thought comes into your head that someone is staring at your hair because they don't like it then block that thought out right away. Just start singing "oops i did it again" inside your head.
-everyday when you look in the mirror say "hey sexy thang" or "Today is going to be the best day of all"
-Confidence won't comeright away but this is your homework and remember, with every effort there's a reward.

Answer 2

Know Thyself,greatest question of all time.You can start by raising a question,let us call whatever it is X.Get out a pen and paper put by alot of time.Start by saying on the paper: What do I think of X.
What do I desire about X
What do I feel about X
What actions do I do about X.
Then ask yourself Why about all the X in turn.
Write it all down,then try to conclude about X and what you have written.This may shine a light on your darkness.Remember "I am my own worst enemy",creatingour own boogey men.Never say I can't,remove that T,then you have I can."I can't" creates our fears,"I can" creates our courage."I can't talk to those people" say "I can talk to those people" About what people think of you,how do you know they think that way about you.if they do what does it matter,for they are only a person with opinion,they have their opinion ,who do they think they are anyway? Remember, the more isolated we become, the more suspicious we become, the more then leads us into paranioa.Trusting no one, not even ourselves.Go out there into the world ,be George and slay the dragon (your fears).if you can't talk to people just start by asking questions with whom you might talk to,you will be surprised.I am a man of 77 years,happy and contented.How by tackling the world head on,no doubt got a headache now and again.Always remember who cares,look at the dead they cared and worried,see what happened to them.so why worry just live happy and do the best you can,if your best is not good enough for them,then say you got a problem,I'm human so not perfect!

Answer 3

True Self-ishness always leads to joy, because it is motivated always by
the desire to feel as good as possible. It is only when we are Self-ish
enough to be, do and act in accordance with our desires (not someone
else’s) that it is possible to stay balanced. Energetically speaking, a
desire is a rush of life force energy, a connection to the divine inner
self, which can never result in actions that are harmful. It is only
when true desires are blocked that they become twisted and ugly. This
statement goes against the common wisdom that human nature is greedy,
violent and primitive. Human nature is precisely the opposite: we are
born knowing ourselves as powerful, eternal, spiritual beings. Petty,
competitive, churlish and violent behavior must be
overcome with suitable practice. Observe your family, friends
and coworkers. Almost all of them are good people, trying to do the best
they can. It would simply not be possible to build a sophisticated
society if human nature was so base. All successful societies are based
upon cooperation, not competition. Competition works not because it is
adversarial, but because it inspires teamwork. Ask two angry guys to get
something constructive done, it is not going to happen. All
success is based upon cooperation. That is because we live in an
attraction based universe.

These natural impulses are supposed to be dangerous because they stem
from a primitive survival instinct. But human being has a bette mind
than animals. Just look around at the mess the world is in! But that is
a delusional assertion, a denial of the basic nature of consciousness
itself. The natural impulses of human nature stem from a connection to
life force, and it is resistance to this divine impulse which causes the
selfish behavior people object to.

If you observe people you will quickly see that those persons who are
most alive are full of desire, and those who look lifeless have little
or no desire. Desire = life force. Shut off desire = selfish behavior.
It's ironic that selfish behavior actually results from self-denial.

Human nature is not a primitive, biological instinct based on survival
of the fittest, it’s a pure connection to source energy. It is divine.
It's only when that connection is closed off that selfish behavior is
demonstrated. Every one of your desires is, in its non-resisted state,
joyful and balanced, because that is an inherent property of
consciousness itself. True selfishness is allowance of desire, without
resistance, and results in the impulse to give freely to others. But it
is first necessary to allow that impulse within yourself.

http://kjmaclean.com/Selfishness.html

Answer 4

The first thing is to refuse to say negative things about yourself. Not in the mirror, not in yahoo answers, and hardest of all, not inside your head.

The second thing is to say positive things about yourself. Find things you like about yourself, and say them out loud to yourself, and to yourself in the mirror. Start small, but try to find five positive things every day, Slowly make sure you are saying more important and bigger things.

It will take a while, but if you set yourself up to change your interior discussion, you will slowly begin to believe yourself and change your self.

This assumes that your issue is normal lack of self confidence. Ask your friends if your lack of self confidence is in the normal range. If it is not, you may need professional help - get some.

Answer 5

I trying to work on this too. You have to love yourself. It can be hard sometimes because I'm very critical of myself. Try to imagine being outside of yourself and looking at you. Don't you feel more compassion for her? Don't you want to take care of her? Dont' be so hard on yourself. Maybe look at things that you are good at and praise yourself for what you do right.