im changing i went from good to bad..any help?

Question

i was a good kid never got in trouble never did anything bad..nothing really.. i played sports for the school im 15 almost 16 and im in 10th grade.. well NOW: i smoke..drink..party..get in trouble in school got arrested twice over the summer.. jsut got caught stealing ciggs from my mom dont play sports anymore. my parents think its my friends cause they arnt the ideal friends not really liek me i wear american eagle and abercrombie and stuff they all have pericings and tattoo's and wear punk stuff.. i like them tho i like hanging out with them they are cool i think but i also think about my life and realize it might be them that is causing me to change like this.. i know everythings my choice and i dont have to do anything i dont want to but i dont know why im doing this stuff now my best friend is mike and i was with him the 2 times i got arrested for being a lil drunk..is it their fault or mine and what should i do ditch the kids i love hanging out with or is there a way around that.

Answer 1

Well you are realizing that you have choices in life, but remember that every choice you make has a repercussion. Meaning you tear up your grades this year and decide next year that might not have been the smartest idea, you may have already screwed up your GPA, which can affect what school you get into. Getting arrested can also have a negative consequence on trying to get into college or get financial aid. I would say you can blame your friends, but the truth is you make your decisions. If you don't like the consequences of your actions it might be time to find some new friends to hang out with. BTW in a lot of places if you got caught getting into trouble, you can have your license priviledges revoked until you turn 18. I would start considering how important your future is and what you want to do with your life. If you have no desire to become anything more than a waste of a person, then keep going down the path you're heading. If you are wanting more out of life, it's time to grow up a bit and take some responsibility. If you were my kid, you would be grounded so you wouldn't get to hang out with your friends untill that was done. And you would be doing some sort of volunteering or community service so that you could see what happens to people who go nowhere in their lives.

Answer 2

I'm not 100% sure but i think this is what happens when you're a teenager. You rebel. Whatever you do, just think before you do things. Think to yourself, "if i do this, will it affect me a few years down the track?" Eg if you go to jail or drop out of school.

I went through a rebellious stage when I was 15, I changed friends (like you) I did drugs, wagged school etc and although it was a learning experience, I now wish that I had just stayed with my old friends on the good girl path. You feel better about yourself afterwards. Drinking, doing drugs and all that is fun, but it doesn't get you anywhere!!!! You'll only end up doing things you regret, or with an addiction.

Answer 3

First of all I want to say that I can feel you. Teenagers today have so many distractions in the world that we didn't have at your age. I am a teacher, a parent, and an entertainer and therefore I have had some experience with all sides of this cube however; through the grace of God I managed to keep my daughter involved and close so that she never felt the 'need' to mix with others. I am sure it's different for girls at times.

I am glad that you realize that you have changed, that you allowed your friends influence in a negative way. You don't want to start your life out like this....it's most unfortunate that when young men get that first trepass in the system, they seem to stay...you don't want a record that is filled with a life of crime. It can destroy your life and mess you up for all times. Making choices may seem difficult, but you have to have someone to help MENTOR your decisions. I know that you could be going through a 'phase', but not all teens do. Some are just bound and determined that the way of life they select for themselves will not be filled with negative things. You have an opportunity to make the decision to change now. Your 'friends' might not understand - and it doesn't matter if they do or not - you are the driver of this chariot -and can stir the horse anyway you want. It's your life. Allow your parents in. Don't stop communicating with them. Ask them for their help in directing you to programs and after school activities that are better. Sometimes teens do the reverse because they want to be accepted or are just curious - now that you've had your share - it's okay to go back to being who you really seem to want to be.

I have seen a few of my former students who were nice 8th graders , made good grades, had nice girlfriends and in a couple of years in high school, I saw them because they had failed English and had also become 'gangbangers'. I was suprised, but they were still nice to me. Talking with them, I was told they needed money and all the wrong stuff that was happening at home and some getting put out and they were struggling to stay in school. I felt bad for them because of the decision they made - one guy told me he was trying to get out - and couldn't or be killed. So, I understand how that kind of life might call to you, but you have to look beyond the 'right now' and think about what kind of future you are going to have for yourself, and someday for your family. You don't want to be explaining to your children your life of mistakes - I emplore you, and I understand. I hope and pray that your parents are continuing to show you love -and support and will help you through this. Contact your local Y. There should be some people around to get you back on track - teachers even, who will support you and help you 'see the light' is brighter on this side......I care about you and the decision you make to do the right thing - you won't regret it.

Answer 4

Hmm, i thought for a second you were me. I've been the exact same way. I used to be the really smart kid who got good grades and had a couple friends that he hung out with, you know the story. Well, I hated that image, and family problems drove me to change. I now smoke, drink, and do drugs. I still have decent grades, but I apply myself less and less. I know I'm changing for the worst, but at the same time I feel happier. My [good] friends keep telling me that I'm screwing my future for temporary relief, which very well may be true. I personally believe that outside forces have changed me (especially a fucked-up family). However, it is how we handle these situations that make us who we are. Maybe you also got tired of people looking at you the way you used to? I always get a sly smile when my people say I don't look like the drinking type - I hated my old image. It really isn't a smart thing to do, though. You have to make the decision for yourself. You do know that this kind of lifestyle wil catch up with you sooner or later, and it won't be fun. But we don't like to think of the future, just the present, huh? You need to seriously sit down and think of what will happen to you if you let this continue. People may deny it, but there is a limit with alcohol and drugs. You can drink a few times and month, and as long as you keep yourself under control (don't drive, dumbass - sit, smoke, and chill out - at least you won't kill anyone that way) you will be fine. Toking up one or two times a month doesn't hurt anyone (again, just don't drive!). So there are certain things you can do, in moderation. If you think you can restrain yourself to those limits, and you tell your friends that, then you can get away with it, as long as you stick to it! But if you know that it won't work out like that, or you see yourself doing these things more and more frequently, then you need to be smart and decide what's best for yourself in the future. Be smart, and respect your limits.

Edit: One thing to watch out for [ironically enough] is smoking. The reason? Its easy to get cigarettes, and its not like you have to hide them in public (unlike alcohol and drugs). I made that mistake and now I can't even play basketball anymore (and I used to be very athletic). Hell, I can't walk up a flight of stair without losing my breath. Just something to keep in mind. Here's a good quote:
"Quitting smoking is easy. I've done it a thousand times."
-Mark Twain
Just a little warning from someone who's been there, done that.

Answer 5

For some reason in adolescence we reach a point where we try to be what we are sure everyone else wants us to be. If you want to keep your friends but don't want to keep being stupid... stop doing the stupid things with them! If they are really your friends they'll like you for being the good one and if they're not.. they won't! FInd people who make you feel comfortable in your skin and realize that at some point you will feel free enough to be who you want to be and stop worrying about who you think your peers want you to be! Just don't do anything that you can't take back while you are having fun being stupid!

Answer 6

Well, just because you hang out with those people doesn't mean you have to do what they're doing.

All of my friends drink and do drugs and stuff (in 15 too!), but I've never once been even tempted to do anything like that.
If they're making you do that stuff- and you don't want to, then I think you should drop the friends.
If you don't want to get rid of them, then just let them do it and you can just stay sober! That way you can laugh at them doing stupid things...that's what I do. :D

By the way... doing drugs is really unattractive. And it just makes you look like an a**hole.

<33

I use to be preppy too, then I moved into the ...well "emo/punk" scene, but that doesn't mean you have to adapt to what they do.

Answer 7

Make smart choices. Just because your friends are doing that stuff doesn't mean you have to. If they're forcing you to do these things, then you should ditch. If you're doing these things because you WANT to, then that's a a different matter. If you don't like what you're becoming, stop.

Answer 8

mandi_85reform, If McCain DOES pick up where Bush left off that's a WHOLE lot better than where Jimmy Carter left off. I'll take another 4 or even EIGHT years of Bush / McCain any day over Obama's tax raising schemes and his buddy buddy ideas of making peace with terrorist

Answer 9

Yes everything is a choice. If you know better than do better. Don't break the law. And, you will be much better off. It's up to you whether you think you can behave with these friends. If you don't think you can. Then maybe they aren't good friends to have. Good luck.

Answer 10

No,it is not you friends fault.It's your own fault.You have your own mind to make decisions,but you would rather go along with your friends.As hard as it will be maybe it's time you ditched these friends until you can think on your own instead of following them.It's peer pressure,but you don't have to go along with what everyone else is doing.Use your head.