have you faced this dilemma?

Question

you are a good guy/girl...who's trying to get close to God...and you have a friend that somehow not a good one....and he/she does a lot of bad deeds that anger God...
what do you do?
you break your connnection with him/her,fearing he would affect you or your reputaion?(المرء على دين خليله)

or you dnt break it but keep the distance so you can advice him every now and then?

or you still keep your strong friendship with him?and snt care about what he/she does?

influence like she has a bad reputaion,and reputaion is important to girls..you know what i mean....

sorry Farah for deleting my answer to ur q

Answer 1

Christianity

According to traditional Christian teachings, the forgiveness of others is amongst the spiritual duties of the Christian believer. God is generally considered to be the original source of all forgiveness, which is made possible through the suffering and sacrifice of Jesus, and is freely available to the repentant believer. As a response to God's forgiveness, the Christian believer is in turn expected to learn how to forgive others; some would teach that the forgiveness of others is a necessary part of receiving forgiveness ourselves, and vice versa. In fact, at the end of the Lord's Prayer, Jesus says that unless we forgive we won't be forgiven.

The person who is forgiven is not necessarily released from any obligation to make material or financial amends. By forgiving someone the person doing the forgiving becomes free.

Key Biblical texts on the subject of forgiveness include:

* The Lord's Prayer - " Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us" (Matthew 6:9–13, Luke 11:2–4)
* "Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times (or seventy times seven).'" (Matthew 18:21-22)

This introduces the most relevant parable, that of the Unmerciful Servant, which concludes: "In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." (Matthew 18:34-35)

* "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." (Mark 11:25)

This can be taken to imply that the exercise of forgiveness is part of that repentance through which the believer has access to the forgiveness of God.

* "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." Luke 23:34. Uttered by Jesus Christ as he was put to death.
* "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)


Islam

Clearly forgiveness is a prerequisite for any true or genuine peace. Islam teaches that Allah (الله) is 'the most forgiving', and is the original source of all forgiveness. Forgiveness often requires the repentance of those being forgiven. Depending on the type of wrong committed, forgiveness can come either directly from Allah, or from one's fellow man. In the case of divine forgiveness, the asking for divine forgiveness via repentance is important. In the case of human forgiveness, it is important to both forgive, and to be forgiven.

The central and most sacred book of Islam: the Qur'an, teaches that there is only one error that Allah cannot forgive, the error of ascribing partners (or equals) to Allah. Islam ranks this error as a denial of monotheism, and therefore of the supreme nature of Allah himself. (Shirk).

God does not forgive idol worship (if maintained until death), and He forgives lesser offenses for whomever He wills. Anyone who idolizes any idol beside God has strayed far astray. (Qur'an 4:116)

But if he returns to God and pleads sincerely for forgiveness and abandons worshiping other than the one and only God, He will be forgiven.

The Qur'an does on occasion make allowances for violent behavior on the part of Muslim believers, and such allowances have been construed by some observers as condoning unforgiving behavior. Still such allowances are only made within the Qur'an in the case of defending one's faith, one's life or one's property. Outside of this, the Qu'ran makes no allowances for violent behavior. From time to time certain Muslims have interpreted such Qur'anic allowances for "defensive violence" to include what other Muslims have viewed more as unwarranted and overly aggressive violence. This interpretative debate about when to forgive and when to aggressively attack or defend continues to this day within the Muslim community.

Whenever possible, the Qur'an makes it clear that it is better to forgive another than to attack another. The Qur'an describes the believers (Muslims) as those who, they avoid gross sins and vice, and when angered they forgive. (Qur'an 42:37) and says that although the just requital for an injustice is an equivalent retribution, those who pardon and maintain righteousness are rewarded by GOD. He does not love the unjust. (Qur'an 42:40).

To receive forgiveness from God there are three requirements:

1. Recognizing the offense itself and its admission before God.
2. Making a commitment not to repeat the offense.
3. Asking for forgiveness from God.

If the offense was committed against another human being, or against society, a fourth condition is added:

1. Recognizing the offense before those against whom offense was committed and before God.
2. Committing oneself not to repeat the offense.
3. Doing whatever needs to be done to rectify the offense (within reason)and asking pardon of the offended party.
4. Asking God for forgiveness.

There are no particular words to say for asking forgiveness. However, Muslims are taught many phrases and words to keep repeating daily asking God's forgiveness. For example:

* Astaghfiru-Allah, "I ask forgiveness from Allah"
* Subhanaka-Allah humma wa bi hamdika wa ash-hadu al la Ilaha illa Anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilayk, "Glory be to You, Allah, and with You Praise (thanks) and I bear witness that there is no deity but You, I ask Your forgiveness and I return to You (in obedience)".

Answer 2

I agree with Moonrise and with you at the same time.
I can tell you from my own experience also that some times when a friend can't listen to advices and nothing matter, it's really a good thing to keep away. Not only for reputation, but it makes that friend feels the difference or the price he is going to pay. I agree that we should help each other and mercy is very nice thing specially that no one is an angel, but also the nature of some people should be treated with the cost method. This method is to make it clear about which cost will be equal to the mistake he/she is doing.
This is also some kind of help to them.

Answer 3

I have many friends who stay in mosque all day and others who get high all night.
I try to convince them to stop doing so, I hope they stop wih time.
If all people will break up then what is the reason of having a friend except to help you in your tough time with your problems
People who break up are not friends and were never friends and will never be friends with anyone because they gave up friendship for a very small challenge which they must face.
The prophet and the muslims did not spread islam by force, it was their friendly habits and the good way they treated other people from other religions.
In conclusion, you must not loose a friend which you spent many years making to a small second which may be because of something you are responsible for which is giving the proper support to him and sharing him all of his problems
Cheers

Answer 4

yes, i have before & still having.
but don leave ur friend alone in her darkness,u must stand with her till she becomes a good person (like u).
the 1st & the 3rd choices rnot good, u should go with the 2nd choice u've listed.
i do know about reputation,it is very important 4 both of us (guys & girls).
u should talk 2 her & tell her wut u think, tell her that u'll leave her 4ever if she doesnt stp doin wrong things.
if she really cares 4 u,then she'll stop,if she doesnt,then u've made ur job & u r free 2 leave her or talk 2 her again or do any thing 2 help her.
mal Allah regard u 4 caring of u ur friend (u r real good friend) & help ur friend becoming good.
salamo alekom

Answer 5

Do you know mo3taz mas3ood? He was once on the radio telling about how he was before God showed him the right path. He had this rotten shilla and all they cared about was who was going to date the prettiest girl in the club and things like that. One day, he was waiting for a friend to come pick him up so they could go and spend the night siya3a as usual. It suddenly hit him, he got a piece of paper and drew a short line representing his life on earth. He drew another loooooooong line never ending representing eternity. When his friend arrived he told him he was not going. When he asked why Mo3taz showed him the paper. He said do you think it makes sense that we trade this short line for this never ending line? Is it worth it? His friend was affected by what he said, and from that day on rabina hadahom both.

However, they did not loose touch with their old shilla. If they were asked to join in any activity that was 7aram they declined. But if it was 7alal they joined them and took the opportunity to give them advice and try to get them closer to God. Hope this answers your question.

Answer 6

when i was young from 8 till 11 i had a lot of friends we were all young and don't know anything about anything i was so close to them but as we grew older they took another direction some were good with girls and some do drugs.
one of them actually was my mosque mate he was the one that helped me stick to praying in the mosque but now he is so far away.
and now when i see any of them i greet them as if they are of me and i am of them however i never hang out with them i just keep the memory that we are friends and honestly i will consider them friends till death and i will try to help them find the right path.

Answer 7

i had a friend like that who everyone at school thought was my sister, and some people used to get us mixed up. so i told her she needed to stop, because what she was doing was wrong and because is was getting tired of people coming to me thinking it was me or asking me why my sister would do such a thing. and like you said reputation is important for girls. and if you have a friend that does bad things then everyone else will think or assume that you are bad as well. but i would keep distance from this person and stay close to god. that is what i did w/ this girl. we still talk at the masjid but we aren't the same as we used to be. we stopped talking at school, because that is where everything happened

Answer 8

It depends on how strong a personality both you and your not so descent frined have.

Which of you can infuence the other.

In former case, retain the frinedship, hoping to turn him/her into a descent personality.

In latter case, do not hesitate to break the relation, saving youself lots of touble.

Answer 9

i must be reaonable if my friend does something that harms her alone, like having a drink every now and then.
if she doesnt disgrace herself by getting drunk, i dont breakthe friendship.
i wait patiently till she recognises her sin . she might go on omra or pilgrimage and never touch a drink after that.
God has His ways with sinners who sin against themselves, ie , not involve others in their sins. God says : ahdi men ashaa wi addl men ashaa.
we mustnt be too severe with others. the day may come when they know the right path that leads to GOD.

Answer 10

I would still be their friends but try to advice them and make him/her a better person and help him/her get closer to god. I do not worry abt them badly influnencing me cuz I'm not a kid and I know what's wrong and what's right. I've had many non muslim friends in the past and we were and remain good friends. May Allah guide us all to the right path

Answer 11

I already faced this situation, I tried to change him in all means but in vain, and finally I chose to keep the distance, I seldom see him just by chance and never tried to change him again, I pray for him that Allah guide him to the right way.