I was just thinking of memories and to this day I still cry when my mom said she wanted me disowned. It was two years ago but it seemed like yesterday.
2007-09-06 09:38:54 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
She just said that. I'm not disowned.
2007-09-06 09:51:49 · update #1
Its sad but true...the things you remember the most are the most hurtful, painful memories because they attack you emotionally.
2007-09-06 09:45:40 · answer #1 · answered by Erica S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The words we give the greatest meaning to, are the ones we remember the longest. This is because WE give them meaning. Until we change ourselves, the meaning will remain. We create it so.
When your mom spoke those words, you gave the words a meaning that says something about you--not about her. What you believe about you will hurt you deeply. What if you didn't believe the thought you had, or what she might have said about you to lead up to that moment? Would her words have had the same effect?
It is possible to get to a place where we can create different meanings for words which may currently be painful. This is true even of existing painful experiences we've had in the past.
2007-09-06 17:00:43 · answer #2 · answered by livemoreamply 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom disowned me too, and it lasted for years, but I kept in touch constantly, and a grandchild melted her heart... so sometimes time heals things, though it seems when in pain that each moment is way too long!
However I'll tell you, as soon as the mom and I met again, all the bad was forgotten. Same with many instances of small hurts, or big ones... they get covered over with words of truth that completely neutralize the bad.
Disownment is a very tough thing, but it's done in the heat of a moment, or many moments, and they are hot moments. They are so hot they are not true... that's what I mean by truth covering the bad. Truth is cool.
2007-09-06 16:47:16 · answer #3 · answered by LK 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
because hurt is a trauma to our systems and it's my belief that it takes at least 10 good experiences to dilute the pain of one bad one.
I am sorry for the hurt you have experienced. I have said things out of frustration that I deeply regretted and did not even really mean. Perhaps your mom did the same thing. I am a mom and I love my kids deeply. In spite of mistakes I have made, that love is a constant. I hope your mom loves you like that. You still feel the pain because it is such a betrayal of the mother-child bond. Has your mom said some good things that you can call to mind whenver you are reminded of those bad words? That would be my suggestion to you. That, and if she ever apologized for it, believe her. Best wishes, dear.
2007-09-06 16:51:05 · answer #4 · answered by martinmagini 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As a child growing up I lived with my Dad telling me I was dumb, stupid and I'd never amount to anything.
I barely graduated high school; I was a D & E student. I thought I was stupid.
When I was 30 years old, to my surprise, I found out I had an above average intelligence!
My Dad was a very intelligent man but his life was working in a factory, raising 7 kids when he only wanted 2 and married to a woman whose love was cold.
I discovered what he said to me is what he really felt about himself inside.
Words that tear down, sting and destroy a person's self esteem are a form of mental abuse and if they even as much as enter a person's mind they should be sent packing and not allowed to stay even faster. I know it isn't so easy for some to do as others, but verbal abuse is the worse form of abuse. Physical abuse heals; verbal abuse takes a lifetime to over come for some.
I always use the memories of my past to remind me of what I don't want to become. I strive to be soft spoken and gentle with my words.
My husband is one to spew hurtful words when angry. Than he has to try and take them back after he calms down. Once spoken, they can't be taken back, you must deal with them and work together to get past them. I have made him see that his words are a form of verbal abuse and he is now learning to watch his words and speak more carefully.
I am glad your Mom rethought what she said to you. Maybe if you can get her to see that a word spoken to hurt another is a form of abuse, maybe together with your help, she can learn to change. That's what helped my husband.
Two broken hearts lonely looking like
houses where nobody lives.
Two people each having so much pride
inside
Neither side forgives.
The angry words spoken in haste,
Such a waste of two lives,
It's my belief,
Pride is the chief cause and the decline
in the number of husbands and wives.
Rodger Miller
2007-09-06 17:49:03 · answer #5 · answered by Hillbillee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Certain words have heat with us for a particular reason and when it registers with us like that it is triggering something inside us. Often we speak from a place of emotion, hurt or wound and every word we speak creates an experience we'll live; such as what your Mom told you. Negative words of yourself can actually change your brain chemistry and cell structure.
2007-09-06 16:57:47 · answer #6 · answered by April First 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is true. I don't think people, parents especially ,realize the impact of some of the mean things that they say. It could have a long lasting effect, ya know, cause emotional damage, lower self esteem , things like that. And as much as we would like to forget things, it's not that easy to get over.
2007-09-06 16:45:18 · answer #7 · answered by Sweetie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you remember important things. Mainly, important things tend to end up being bad, or bad memories. Things that emotionally affect you are burned into your memory. whether it is when a boyfriend first said he loved you, or your mother saying that. Both are burned.
2007-09-06 17:57:22 · answer #8 · answered by disTurbed angeL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The word symbols that evoke the most emotion are the one we are most likely to remember.
2007-09-06 16:44:50 · answer #9 · answered by Intension Juxtaposed 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes. Words are like daggers to our hearts.
2007-09-06 16:42:21 · answer #10 · answered by Unsub29 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋