My family was friends with the family in question since we moved in to the neighbor hood and more since I became a stay at home mom. The husband ahas always seemed strange to us. The wife paranoid and sheltered, but a good person. Their girls are the same age as ours..so they became bff's. The mom told me she walked in on the husband touching one of the girls through her jeans in private areas. She freaked out,she said.According to her they went to counseling and he confessed he was thinking about having sex with her when the mom caught him. She says he molested his sisters with his father at the age of 12. I tried to help her make a plan and figure out how to get away from him. I told her it would be easy to get a restraining order with that kind of information. I would help her, make the calls myself, go with her. Take in her children, so she could confront him by herself. She did nothing. Its been 4 months since she told me. She says am to blame. What should I do?
2007-09-06 09:33:29 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
My husband thinks that she may be lying. that he may not be a predator at all. Also thinks they can sue us and take our house if he is innocent or proven innocent. He says we have no proof and it's just hearsay.
2007-09-06 09:44:41 · update #1
thank you everyone who answered
2007-09-06 10:50:53 · update #2
The only thing that you can do is call child protective services and the police - which is what the counselor should have done. So what if she gets mad at you, her kids are the top priority, their safety should come first - period.
2007-09-06 09:37:58 · answer #1 · answered by ShellyC 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have responsibility as a human and as a parent - you must call Social Services...they may not be able to help but at least you made an effort to save the girls. How would you feel if you found out he did and you did nothing to stop it? You can't force the mom but this is one time you can step in...either he will and those girls will be damaged for life or the mom is completely pycho and those girls will be damaged for life. Would you watch a child drowned because it's mother just stood there? It's the same concept - you aren't guessing - she told you which makes you just as much to blame if nothing is done...make the call, do the right thing, and in the end you will be setting a good example to your own daughters and may save a life!
P.S I was in a situation where I just suspected - so I said nothing...that huants me even 8 yrs later - I failed as a mother don't make the same mistake
2007-09-06 09:46:06 · answer #2 · answered by ppnj4 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I can't believe you asking what to do. Right is right wrong is wrong. The sicko need help. Since their mother won't be the stand up person and do whats right you should make an anonymous call or whatever but save those girls before it's to late. It takes a village to raise a child. Put yourself in those girls shoes wouldn't you want help from somewhere If your sicko father is molesting you and your mother ignores it. For the sanity of the girls call the authorities. If you don't you might as well participate.
2007-09-06 09:49:58 · answer #3 · answered by dallmademe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If these kids go to the same school as your children, go to a counseler and tell them what the mother has told you. They will be able to monator the situation better than you. Keep your girls away from that family, because it doesn't sound like the mother will protect your girls while there. This is a very serious matter and I would not let it rest until the kids had some help.
2007-09-06 09:40:26 · answer #4 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The woman is dumb, there's no nice way to say it.
She's putting her children in danger, and because of that, I think it would be best if the girls were taken away from both parents, not just the father. Having a father who sees you in a sexual way and a mom who knows, but won't protect you is not a good position to be in, they shouldn't have to be in that situation. Call the police and child services. Let them know what you know, and make sure they check it out. It doesn't matter if the woman gets mad at you, the children should come first.
2007-09-06 09:42:10 · answer #5 · answered by IndiHippi 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Kids are the victims here- the mother is pretty worthless as a mom not to get them out. You sound like a really neat , caring individual and the only one the kids have, and I think you know that. I think that if you don't do anything , you'll never forgive yourself. "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing". Call the school councelor, social services , anyone you need to- help the victims- they can't help themselves- be a hero!
2007-09-06 09:46:02 · answer #6 · answered by Down to earth 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Notify the authorities or have a social worker go into the house and practice some psychological exams to the girls to make sure all this is true.
You don't need to identify yourself, it can be anonymous. It is worth to give it a try, as you don't know how this can really harm the girls now and in the future.
Good luck!!
2007-09-06 09:41:24 · answer #7 · answered by CarmenNR 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To me it sounds like she is scared of what her husband will do. Its a good thing they went to counseling. Being in your shoes I would call child abuse and get them involved. If he was doing it when he was younger then there is that chance it will happen again. She may be mad at you but those kids need to be protected and if the mom cant do it then some one like you needs to step in and do it.
2007-09-06 09:52:02 · answer #8 · answered by loco_sue 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call Child Services, Yesturday.
2007-09-06 09:43:53 · answer #9 · answered by belizeable 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Report this now. Do not wait. This man has major issues and the mother obviously can't be depended on to do what's best for her daughter. Man, this is not going to end well. Look, do you believe what she told you? If so your choice is clear. Get you daughters home put them under lock and key till this guy is as far away as possible!
2007-09-06 09:41:44 · answer #10 · answered by James H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋