Why do we find it so hard to change?

Question

We really, really, really want to change, we try really, really, really hard to change, yet we still do it anyway, despite our best efforts to change?

Answer 1

We find it hard to change because we are human beings. We have a mind that thinks, and we have desires that we want to live up to. We have a fundamental desire act and do things based on how we perceive ourselves to be. When people try to change, they mostly try to change their behavior, but they do not typically try to change who they believe themselves to be.

For example a drug addict knowing drugs are ruining his life and the lives of the people around him, tries to stop doing drugs. He may go to a treatment program and he actually gets off of drugs. But his fundamental mindset is that he is a drug addict. So he gets out of the treatment and life becomes a constant battle to stay away from or avoid drugs. Every little decision is a battle. Till one day, he breaks down and does drugs again and the cycle begins all over again.

To really effect change, he must believe himself to be something other than a drug addict. He must actually become something other than a drug addict. Then the actions possible to him will be new and different than the actions available to a drug addict.

Pick any example, a smoker, a thief, a bad lover, a looser. They will all try to improve their lives by changing their behavior. This fails to achieve the desired result. This will always fail. It has to do with the way we think. What you think becomes reality.

The book "The Secret" sums it up with the three words: "Thoughts become things."

Answer 2

Depending on what it is you're trying to change, some changes may be more difficult than others. Change takes time and everyone is constantly changing. I am not the same person I was 5 min ago.

Answer 3

synaptic patterns. the same way we get good at a skill such as playing a musical instrument. we practice being who we are all the time and it lays down connections in our synapses that we automatically go to just like a train running down a track. in addition to that, it has to do with familiarity and the comfort that we find in old established routines. This is why I think it's hard to change.

Answer 4

It's called inertia, and it's a really (three times) strong urge to stay the same. Plus there's fear of the unkown for many. I'm sure there are other factors too, I just can't think of them now.

A Yahoo survey thing popped up between my answer and my thoughts and blew me out of the water for now. Sorry...

Answer 5

Sometimes what we try to change in ourselves is innate and changing is naturally next to impossible. Other changes are hard because we don't want to loose the comfort zone.

Personally I thing change is exciting!

Answer 6

I read somewhere once that it takes 28 days to build a habit. That is what I think it is sometimes hard to change.

Answer 7

Habits give us a feeling of security and accomplishment. Fear of the unknown, makes us unwilling to leave the known behind us. Habits and Fear are the main reasons for our reluctance to evolve. Best is to get used to break habits and challenge fear. Like anything, this , too, can become a habit.

Answer 8

Oh Hell, we really, really don't want to change, we just make excuses. Until something hurts bad enough, you won't change it. Good intentions without action is meaningless. You must take action on your good intentions. Honestly is critical with yourself if you want to change.

Answer 9

I think we go back to what is most familiar to us. It is not an easy thing to change. It takes a real commitment and serious motivation.

Answer 10

substitute is a technique and is no longer something that takes place in one day. i think it fairly is attainable over numerous durations of time. basically notice how human questioning and society has replaced interior the final 2000 years.