How do u get rid of a begging a friend?

Question

I have a friend which I'm close to for about 10yrs now. We both went to college and have a BA degree; however she refuses to get a job in her field (Broadcasting) and decides to work for a small company paying a little over the minimum wage. I have a o.k job which pays my bills and I am able to save.

Each month she keeps borrowing $200 here or $50 and she does not repay me back. I'm currently pregnant and I need to save all of my money to purchase a home before the baby is due next year March.

How can I get rid of her asking me for money all the time?

Answer 1

The more you keep giving her money, the more she will be dependent on you. You need to cut her off so she can learn to fend for herself, otherwise she never will. Sometimes the best things you can do for people don't always appear to be at first, but in the long run you are doing her a much greater favor.

Answer 2

If she asks you again, just politely say no. Tell her she hasn't repaid you back the money she previously borrowed and that you don't have enough money to keep on basically supporting her it sounds like. Tell her your top priority is buying a home and your baby. If you told her nicely and she's a good friend, she'll understand. If she doesn't understand, then I think it may be best for you to cut ties with her until she's able to support herself and quits asking you for money that she never pays back. I understand she may be in troubled times but it's just unfair to you and she's taking advantage of your friendship.

Answer 3

Just tell her gently and nicely that you cannot be her financial supporter right now and that you have other priorities. Tell me that you just can't keep lending her money and also ask for the money back. If you don't say anything, she will keep doing it, and she needs to know that when she borrows money from someone, she must GIVE IT BACK, hence the word BORROWING and you have lend her the money so when you lend it to them, you're suppose to get it back. If she still does not understand that...then it's time to re-evaulatue your friendship with her. Give her a deadline of when she can pay you back. Be firm, but be nice too.

Answer 4

The answer is easy: Stop giving her money. She keeps borrowing it because you keep letting her. Explain to her that you cannot afford to keep paying for her to survive. You have a baby on the way and that is more important. If she doesn't understand that, then you need a new friend.

Answer 5

One of two ways always works for me.

1) If I don't know the person very well I just tell them to bugger off and then I stop answering the phone.

2) If I do know them really well I avoid, avoid, avoid. When she calls I would either not answer the phone or I would tell her that I will have to call her back I am too busy. Then I wouldn't call her back. You could just be honest and tell her that you can't afford to support her anymore. I understand that might be hard though so I find it easier to just avoid the converstaions and wait until she either stops asking or finds someone else to ask.

Answer 6

Just tell her that you do not have the money.
Prior to her payday, remind her that she owes you and you need to pay a bill. Most likely she will not have the coin to pay you, but will remember this when she's broke and not approach you for a loan. Do this every month, but remember to let her know you are always broke now due to your pregnancy, bill, etc.
Keep a friend, but don't keep shelling out.

Answer 7

Say no from now on when she asks you for money and you will see that she will get the message. The problem here is that she already is used to you giving her money. And now that you are pregnant would be the best excuse to give her. you have to buy things for the newcomer. if she gets upset with you over that then she was never really a true friend. Give it a shot and see for yourself.

Answer 8

your pregnancy is the perfect excuse, tell her you no longer have extre money to loan out to anybody with a new baby on the way, say you just dont have it and are on a budget yourself. if shes a true friend she will understand, if not, she wasnt your friend to begin with but a golddigger. if she got real lippy about it i would also tell her she can begin to start paying back what shes borrowed in the past and being the good friend you are you wont even make her pay any interest on it. i think shes used the sh*i out of you anyhow.

Answer 9

tell her no. you have to be stern with moochers because they're so used to getting things out of people that a simple "no" just doesn't work. you'll have to tell her "look, you're being extremely selfish, immature, and lazy. I'm going to have a baby soon and the fact that you have the nerve to even ask me for a cent is extremely self-centered and rude." if she gets mad at you, no big deal, she'll just find someone else to mooch off of. i wouldn't just try to solve the problem of asking you for money, i would just get rid of her entirely. people like that don't value friendships and it's likely she's only been your friend for 10 years because you let her walk all over you. you're about to have a child, they'll do enough walking all over you.

Answer 10

by not giving it to her. You have to let her know that you are not her money cow. My mom makes it soo hard for me to get money out of her that I don't bother to ask. She accomplishes this by refusing to give me another cent until I have paid her back for a previous debt. It's was her choice to get such a low paying job despite having a BA and it's not your responsibility to take care of her. If she gets mad and accuses you of not being a good friend, then break up the friendship because it's based on money, and that money is yours.