Is getting pregnant really that hard????

Question

I recently conceived and at 6 weeks miscarried. Ever since my husband & I have had sex and still nothing. I wouldn't say we are truly "by the book" trying but everytime I tell him I'm on my period he is always asking me Really?? How Come?? With us there is no pill taking, calendar counting, etc. We are just doing the good old "deed". Question I am asking is why is it soooo difficult to get pregnant. It seems for the longest time I was always extremely paranoid about having sex because I was worried about getting pregnant before we were married & now that I am married I am amazed at how hard it really is.Does anyone else get what I'm saying?? I mean who knows if we tried on my so called "fertile days" we may have an easier time, but I still am amazed how there's such a science to it. In all honesty we have only been married since march & I lost my first in june so it's not like it has been forever. But for some reason I thought it would be much easier, have sex=have baby.... guess not

Wow thanks soooooooo much for all of the great answers!!! I really believe my husband & I are healthy. I also don't believe the miscarriage is the reason as to why I hav not conceived yet. I do think the mind is a powerful thing & if I focus too much on getting pregnant I could stress myself to the point that conception will be nearly impossible. I defintaely think we will try while I am ovulating THANKS...and good luck to those of you trying :o)

Answer 1

yes it is pretty hard to get pregnant. remember, every woman has about a 20% chance of conceiving every month. EVERYTHING has to be timed right. intercourse at the right time, you must be ovulating, the right temperature, the right cervical fluid...if one thing is off, then it won't work. anyway, if there's nothing wrong with your body or his, here is a foolproof way to get prego. good luck

1. Have sex three times a week.

Having regular sex is the best way to get pregnant. Couples often try to time everything perfectly for ovulation but do not have sex when they think they are not ovulating. It is true that sex that is not within the time of ovulation will not result in pregnancy. However, because women do not always ovulate when they think they will, having sex three times a week will help to a woman cover her bases, so to speak, and not miss an opportunity to get pregnant.

2. Use an ovulation prediction kit or fertility monitor.

Using an ovulation kit to predict when you are ovulating will improve your chances of getting pregnant. For many women charting or other methods of ovulation prediction are too confusing. Ovulation prediction kits work by reading LH surges prior to ovulation. They are relatively easy to use and are generally accurate for predicting ovulation. Fertility monitors, such as the Clear Blue Easy monitor, are also a worthwhile investment if you would like to get pregnant faster. Fertility monitors are similar to ovulation prediction kits in that they read changes in LH but they also read changes in other hormones and don’t require any guesswork for couples. They are easy to use and will tell you when the best time to get pregnant is.

3. Have sex before ovulation (not after).

Sometimes couples get confused about the best time to have sex in relationship to ovulation. You have a small window of time each month to get pregnant. After a woman ovulates the egg will survive approximately 24 hours. Sperm, on the other hand, will live for up to three to five days. This is why having sex two to three days before ovulation will increase your chances of getting pregnant. Don’t wait until the day you ovulate to have sex. Your partner’s sperm will last longer than your egg and you don’t want to miss an opportunity by waiting.

4. Don’t rely on the Calendar method for predicting ovulation.

A lot of couples have heard to have sex around day fourteen of your cycle. This is based on the calendar method and assumes that you have a regular 28-day cycle and ovulate mid-cycle. Although this is better than just picking an arbitrary day to have sex, it is not a very accurate way to predict when you ovulate. Many women do not ovulate on day fourteen and knowing precisely when you ovulate will help you time intercourse better. Ovulation prediction kits, looking at previous months bbt charts, or watching for body cues will help you to determine when you ovulate.

5. Charting may not be the best way to predict ovulation.

Charting is great for tracking your cycle but it does have disadvantages. By the time you can see ovulation on a bbt chart, you have already ovulated. It is good to chart so you can track your cycles, see if you ovulate the same time each month, and also so you can look back on your cycle and see if you timed things right. But if this is your first cycle trying to get pregnant or if you are not ovulating at the same time each month, an ovulation prediction kit would be more helpful.

6. See a doctor before you start trying to get pregnant.
Make sure you are in good health and have had a regular check up from your OBGYN or medical provider. Untreated infections, sexually transmitted diseases, or poor health can affect your chances of getting pregnant. Its good to see a doctor as well as start taking prenatal vitamins prior to trying to conceive.

7. Don’t smoke, drink alcohol, or abuse drugs when trying to get pregnant.
This may seem like common sense but many women do try to get pregnant while smoking, drinking or using drugs. Smoking, drugs, and alcohol can affect your fertility. It will also affect your unborn child. It is important to stop smoking or using drugs and alcohol before getting pregnant and not wait until you find out you are pregnant.

8. Have enjoyable sex.

Sometimes when couples are trying to conceive, sex becomes a job or function of reproduction and is not as enjoyable. Plan a romantic evening or try something different to spice things up. How you are feeling sexually may factor into your chances of getting pregnant. Some researchers believe that having an orgasm during sex increases your chances of getting pregnant. For women, the spasmic movements of orgasm will help pull the sperm into the uterus and for men a better orgasm may increase the man’s sperm count.

9. Have sex in positions that keep sperm inside the vagina longer.

The missionary position is a good position to use when trying to get pregnant. Avoid positions where the woman is on top. Gravity will allow sperm to leak out with these positions. Also try placing a pillow under your hips to help tilt your pelvis and keep the sperm in longer. Don’t get up right after sex. Try to relax and allow the sperm to stay in the vagina as long as possible.

10. There is no such thing as trying too hard to get pregnant.
Most couples get pregnant within a year of trying. If you have not gotten pregnant within a year consult your doctor for advice.

Answer 2

My boyfriend and I have been trying to concieve now for almost 4 months. When I had my first daughter, it happened the first try, but it seems like now that we are actually trying, nothing is happening. Someone told me that if you try too hard ( like having sex constantly and stressing over getting pregnant) that it can reduce your chances. We keep track of ovulation and stuff. This time we're trying a different tactic...we're doing it every other day before and during ovulation. They say if a man has a low sperm count that's the best way to go cause it will help strengthen it. Hopefully it works this time. Just try not to worry about getting pregnant..it will probably happen when you least expect it. Good luck and I hope we both conceive soon!

Answer 3

Isn't it ironic? I was on the pill so long and then when we decided to have kids I got pregnant within two weeks but lost the baby at 10 weeks. Then it took me four years to get pregnant again. I had been so paranoid about getting pregnant before! Turns out I had thyroid problems. This is quite common in mild thyroid conditions that a woman can't conceive. Get your thyroid checked now before you waste years trying to get pregnant. Also have them check your progesterone level at the end of your cycle. If you conceive but are not making enough progesterone you will loose the baby. You can use a basal thermometer to see if you are ovulating. They are inexpensive and contain instructions. Yes it can be very difficult for some people to get pregnant but it is probably something simple. Good luck. Now I have two beautiful daughters 19mo and 5mo....be careful after the first one cause you turn into fertile myrtle after the first baby!

Answer 4

Miscarriage is a devastating but sadly common phenomenon. It’s estimated that about 20 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Others put the estimate higher, as many miscarriages occur before the woman knows she is even pregnant. Early miscarriage – miscarriage that occurs before 12 weeks of pregnancy, sometimes before the woman even knows she is pregnant – is especially common.

Fortunately, a miscarriage is not necessarily a sign that you are unable to have a successful pregnancy. Most miscarriages occur as a result of a chromosomal defect in the fetus, not because of infertility in the woman or her partner.

While a miscarriage will not affect your future fertility, it is recommended that women wait until at least one menstrual period before again attempting pregnancy after a miscarriage. This period lets the woman recover, both physically and emotionally. However, if a woman experiences recurrent pregnancy loss—three or more consecutive miscarriages—she and her partner should be evaluated for male fertility problems or female factor infertility and might want to look into IVIg fertility treatments, a treatment that can correct the conditions that make a woman’s body repeatedly miscarry embryos.

Answer 5

I always felt the same way, make love and hope to get pregnant...little did my husband and I ever imagine we would have 2 children in 10 months.
Sorry to hear about your miscarriage...it only took you two a couple months to get pregnant so it will probably happen again soon.
It might help getting pregnant making love during your "fertile days" when you are ovulating, 14 days from the first day of your period.
Good luck to you!

Answer 6

Actually I’m amazed that any of us can get pregnant at all given the actual odds of being able to conceive. In actuality, every month a woman only has a 20% chance of being able to get pregnant. That is if all conditions are right!! Timing has to be right, cervical mucuous needs to be in good quality, ovulation needs to occur(I don’t ovulate so this is a problem I have!!)…..But amazingly women are still popping out babies like it is no one’s business…but it isn’t until you truly try that you realize it isn’t always about having sex one time unprotected and getting pregnant….also our bodies are so sensitive that even the littlest stress can throw everything off kilter. If you are sick, that can keep you from ovulating that month, etc….It’s crazy but that’s a woman’s body for ya.

Answer 7

Be absolutely sure of your ovulation dates because if you miss that day and they days leading up to it you have a 0% chance of getting pregnant. You have about a 3 day window of opportunity every month. When you have sex during ovulation you have a 20-25% chance, nothing you can do to make it higher. Keep in mind that it takes the average couple 6 months to a year to conceive. I got pregnant right away with my first but it took me a year with my second.

Answer 8

We had the same thing happen....we conceived, had a miscarriage, and then took 6 months to get pregnant again. Many people will say 6 months isn't that long, but it seems forever when you're trying. Hang in there...after getting my period each month (and spending too much on taking pregnancy tests) I finally started to track ovulation days (I went to mymonthlycycles.com)...its worth a shot. Good luck!

Answer 9

My husband and I have been trying to conceive our first child for almost 26 months now with no luck. I think it all just depends on the person.

You are right though, it's amazing how hard it really is to get pregnant.

Answer 10

I had only 3 "oops moments and got pregnant every time. Now that we're actually trying... NOTHING! It's discouraging, but there are all sorts of things out there to help you. I know a woman who tried for 4 years before her first pregnancy. She used the OV watch and was preggo within 2 months!

Answer 11

for some people it's not the simple... and some people it is...
our bodies are complicated.... some people get pregnant immediately, for some it takes time, and so need help... you may be any one of these...
but if you have tried specifically to get pregnant for a long time, and nothing, you should get yourself checked out...
they normally recommend just talking to your doctor if you specifically want to get pregnant... just to make sure everything is ok... also keep in mind after a miscarriage it may take a while for your body to return to normal.
Good luck!