i have a question that really puzzles me, but at least i found ,lately, a solution to it.
when you love someone really from the bottom of your heart, really a true love (btw, i'm talking about love between man and woman)........... but then you find for example that it was love from one side which is yours of course, or even that you no longer see him/her but still love him/her.........
the question is............ how you can still love them ?!! , how is your heart so unfair and unkind to you that makes you still love them without any clue ?!
i believe it really harms you a lot when you try to love another person/new partner............ for you gave all your love and faithfulness to the first ?!............. you'll be unfair to yourself and the new partner.
so, i think that when you come to love someone, you shall not give all your love, emotions and passions to them........... just admire them strongly till you're sure of their true "Love" !!
2007-09-06 08:59:00 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
so, what do you think ??
and please if you have a story share it with us......... so we can benefit.
thanks a million to you all :-)
2007-09-06 08:59:49 · update #1
Edit:@ The Confirmed Atheist : welcome dude !! :-) .........thanks for your great answer, i really appreciate it.
2007-09-06 09:22:33 · update #2
@ Vish : i'm 21 my friend, not that young though :-)
2007-09-06 09:24:13 · update #3
@ Moonrise : wow !! i love your answer so much..........and totally agree with you
@ Hasafer : share with a story if you can !!
2007-09-06 09:26:26 · update #4
@ Zoser : wow!! what's all this great analysis ??, don't agree with a few points........but generally, it's great :-)
@ Ramsis II : i love this soooo much
@ Slave of Allah : me too also think so very much.......but it really needs wise people with wise hearts to be able to love a true love again........and that is what i'm working on too :-)
@Onomatopea & أميرة زوجة عمرو
Wish Allah will shower you with His blessings and protect you from every evil or envious people..........Ameen ya rab al alameen :-)
@ Relator : so touching..........but be aware, you'll be the first to come dear ;-)
2007-09-06 14:15:12 · update #5
Edit:@ Ronaldinho Jr..........
hope you'll have a happy beautiful life with her inshaa Allah :-)
2007-09-11 02:49:52 · update #6
ok well here is my imput. i have had a hard childhood. my father and mother split. my father moved backed to egypt and i was raised by my mindless mother. who gave me a hard way to go and blamed me for all her problems. i became mindless myself...i wanted nothing to do with Allah. i wanted no children. i wanted no lover in my life. i had to go through councling because my mind was so damaged.
as you can see in my avatar pic. yes, this is my husband. i swore up and down that i would NEVER marry. i was tired of being hurt by those who claimed to love me. my counclor would always tell me that when the right one comes you will know. and you will be happy. i said no. i thought she was full of it...just telling me anything because she was being paid to make me feel better. those were my thoughts.
this was about 4 or 5 years ago. i am going on two years with my beautiful husband, Praise God. and she was right i have never been happier.
when he gets mad at me for any reason. i feel apart of me was missing. a few times he has gotten so mad at me that he wouldn't communicate with me. he wouldn't hold me in the night. i felt so alone, depressed and i couldn't breath with him angry at me. he is my weakness. it is like with out him i couldn't function. that is how deeply in love i am with him.
you know the saying is between a married man and woman. that they are one. i never understood what that meant fully until i fell in love with Amr. that is his name...aka Omar...because if he isn't happy i am not happy. and visa versa. if he is stressed, i am stressed. if he cries, i cry. if he smiles, i smile and again visa versa.
i never knew love was so powerful. this is my first marriage. and God Willing we will be together until God feels it is our time to go. no times soon God Willing. i want to grow old with him and die of natrual causes. as a matter of fact speaking of death...
i told Amr before, that if he leaves me in death. to tell the angel of death to come get me too. because i can't be here without him. i told him to tell that angel not to forget me. even thinking about it usually always brings me to tears. so anytime i write anything like this i must always say PLEASE GOD PROTECT THIS FROM THE EARS OF THE EVIL ONE AMEEN...
i hope this is a good inside look of my story and i hope you enjoyed it. God Bless
@ Onomatopoeia...i couldn't agree more with you...because i say the same Allahu Akbar!!!!!!!!! for my love not to steal ur words but my husband too is everything i needed and wanted in a man. and this makes me love him that much more. he is beautiful inside and out...i tell him he is beautiful in a manly way looool although it may seem strange to tell a man he is beautiful but he understands me...masha'Allah
2007-09-06 11:25:14 · answer #1 · answered by baba where art thou 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
All love starts with an infatuation, and that infatuation is always a combination of pain and ecstasy as the insecurity pushes into you and every second away from the loved one is an eternity. As your relationship develops you become more confident but you also lose that really strong feeling of ecstasy. but whether that relationship develops or dies the strong emotions do decline. if the relationship dies, your love does fade it may take weeks or months but it will fade and eventually go completely, so wait, you will feel better, you will love again, but it takes time. if on the other hand the relationship does not die, you will find that it develops into a friendship deeper than any other. i have been maried for nearly 30 years but i had several failed relationships before my marriage and i had a very difficult time about 6 years ago, when i fell in love again........ hmm yes even at my age!
2007-09-06 09:50:05 · answer #2 · answered by sabrina 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, I don't believe someone should give their everything to another person(leave their happiness in their hands) because we are all humans and we eventually make mistakes that will make us and/or your partner feel disappointed, angry, sad, etc. towards the other. Don't get me wrong, give your partner what they deserve(respect, affection, time, etc.) just don't go overboard and be all "NO! Don't leave me! I'll die!" ( I've seen it before). Anyways...
Second, true love never disappears, you can't just fall in and out of love with someone on the daily basis like the world thinks. Once you think, no, KNOW you love that person for reals, then that love will forever stand the test of time. However, sometimes we think we love another person but really it's just a very strong attraction. Like maybe they were the first people to truly understand you or they did something unrepayable or they seem to be what they aren't, and so you think that they must be the ONE but apparently they aren't. The point is, maybe you don't truly love him and though it may seem hard, you must move on with your life. Find someone who appreciates your faithfullness and won't take advantage of nor ignore it and take it slow from then on. Sometimes you don't immediately fall in love with your soulmate, it takes time, because you must get to know them and their capabilities. But overall yeah, admire them strongly and time will tell if they truly are the "one".
Atleast now you know more of the 'dos' and 'don'ts' of a relationship. Love is like a journey on the sea, the waves will keep on comming and it will seem like you can't escape, but if you keep on rowing, the waves will guide you through another day.
P.s. To know if you truly love someone, you must truly know the meaning of love. Hope my advice helps you in any way, and if not, well then you must already know the stuff.
2007-09-07 19:37:23 · answer #3 · answered by dgital_luv 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Morbid. Not everyone finds true love but those that do find true happines. About 20% of people remain single and as we know 50 to 60 % fail in their first partnership.
2016-04-03 07:13:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u know wut?i had this love issue before 3 yreas,it was my 1st real love & the only love i've enjoyed till now,but unfortunately it was by 1 side (me),cuz she was in love wtih some1 else,but she didnt tell me till i fell on my face.
it made suffer for 2 yrs,sleepless in night,mindless in day,imagining that every coming person is her,listening 2 love songs & suffering alot.
my heart died,but less than year ago i'm over it. i even asked a question 1 year ago about this (check out my questions).
u may listen 2 Katharine MacPhee-i'm over it song u'll find it on YouTube.com,really good song 4 ppl like this.
i think i agree with u in other points about givin less 2 the other person if u love again.cuz may be we r still afraid of previous experience.
u r very wlcom sis Nada,
salamoooooooz
2007-09-07 03:19:08 · answer #5 · answered by Cool Muslim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Assallam mu alaikom.
There is no love that is true love. Human are always keep on changing their feelings on everything. That is nature. The make of mankind. Allah swt created human with desire and feeling of ownership and greed. Nothing could satisfy any mankind, unless the person is able to control their feelings and greed. The only true love is love to Allah swt and Rasullullah saw. That also not to everyone,but, to only selected ppl gifted by Allah swt.
Wassallam.
2007-09-06 21:52:42 · answer #6 · answered by atbt 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
in 99 i liked a girl in my school we were 11 by then i think she liked me too she once gave me a dry flower this story ended in a semester and guess why "people was talking" to the extent that she switched the school after this year(her sister completed in the same school) i know that we were too young but i still remember her with all the details i even memorize her phone number till now i don't know what would it be if i saw her again that is why i don't know what if i got involved in a relation ship with another wouldn't i be unfair to this person.
2lebty 3laya 2lmowage3 ya o5t nada
2007-09-06 11:27:44 · answer #7 · answered by بهي الطلعه 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mashaa ALLAH. BUT my story is too long, so i shorten it drastically. I pray to GOD to match me perfectly with someone to be my husband for about 3 months. Then July 2003 (I will keep the spiritual details quiet) I was matched with my husband Sameh. He is everything that I asked for. I mean to detail. Allahu Akbar!!!! Sameh is my best friend. Both of us has never had love like this before. We do truly love each other and we cant live without each other not even for a day.............Alhamdulillah, for everything.
~Assalamu Alaykuum
Any respectable unmarried females want to meet my 30yr old respectable brother in law? If so, go to my 360. ;)
2007-09-06 10:00:10 · answer #8 · answered by Onomatopoeia 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
u r completely right Nada
i agree with u in that point of being unfair to the second one
am suffering myself from this.
i was in love and engaged then we were separated.
i gave him every single beat in my heart and my life then all of it was over
am suffering now that many guys are proposing but i can't do it
i feel that i can't give the new one anything not only a little and by this am so unfair to myself too
God Bless Us All
2007-09-06 09:28:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
What is called true love before marriage may change after marriage if there are problems of any kind. In marriage sharing, making decisions, yielding, compromising, facing economic problems, in laws problems, making decisive decisions etc all this and more may be rocks that break the tide of love. So one can not really tell if he/she loves the other partner till they succeed in passing these tests. Before marriage both are ( as George Eliot said) at the shore of a large lake, they do not know how large it is nor they know its limits and where the other side of the lake is, nor the kind of problems are waiting for them. When they both embark the boat of marriage and sail together they can solve all the questions about the lake. What is called love before marriage is as a psychologist said once- I forgot his name- a phase of attraction, it can be physical, mental, false, true, anything. Only after sharing life together can one say that he/she loves the other partner. Let us hope and pray that God guides us to the right partner and good luck to you and all who mean well by sharing their lives with another partner.
2007-09-06 20:13:42 · answer #10 · answered by Balsam 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Nada, it's purely psychological. It isn't the heart that needs to get over it as much as it is the mind. Once you realize that love is available all over the world, and love is just a stranger away, you don't worry so much about the one that got away as much as the one the one that's there or the one that's on the way.
I tell my single friends all the time, their perfect someone is out there, they just haven't asked them to marry them yet.
2007-09-06 09:17:30 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋