ok, first off, i'm 25, still going to college, and unfortionitly still living at home with my mom. i've been dating a guy for over 4 years now, who also lives with his mom, and a few weeks ago he proposed.
we've been trying to find a place for almost 2 years now, but in this area we just cannot afford anything. really. i work in a realestate office with access to everything, other than moble homes, there is nothing in this area until $250,000. and as for renting, the things in our price range all have "income qualifications" and we exceed these (we are in a HIGH immigrant area so the qualifications have been set to help THEM find places). seriously, the one bedroom places around here that DONT have the income qualifications are $1600+ a mo, which is nothing we can afford.
so besides that, i work 2 part time jobs and go to school. i spoke with an advisor yesterday and my estimated grauation is spring 09. which means no full time job until then.
2007-09-06 08:38:40 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
we were hoping to get married NEXT fall, but now with school going longer i dont think that can happen, so now we're probably going to have to hold off until the FOLLOWING fall, thats now 2 years away!!! i never wanted to have a long engagement :(
but we cant get married until we have a place to live, and i cant aford anything until i have a full time job, after school.
i cant deal with this, my mom is only making things worse, she's trying to make me quit BOTH jobs to get an internship, which wouldnt pay at all. so then there is NO money coming it. i sent her a photo of a dress i kinda like, just as an idea, and she tells me not to even bother looking!
i just want to get away from her, and live my own life, i just feel like i cant. no matter what i do i'm getting no where. help!! please!!
2007-09-06 08:41:47 · update #1
if i take the internship, i dont have money for gas, my bills, books... i wouldnt be able to get to the internhip OR school. and my mom will not help me out. i've been working since i was 15 and she hasnt given me money ONCE since i started working.
2007-09-06 08:51:53 · update #2
You're definitely in a rough spot, and it seems like you have a TONS of things all going on at once. I dont envy you.
I think you should really take a step back and figure out not only what you want now, but where you want to be a few years from now. I have a feeling that your Mom is probably looking at things from a "whats best down the road" perspective, and you're in the "here and now". So, a few comments, and understand that I'm totally unbiased here :)
1. Why the rush to get married? One thing I found about myself is that I changed dramatically once I was out on my own, outside of my parents roof. I'd suggest before getting married OR moving in with your b/f, you live on your own, or with a group of friends. You need some space to get out from under Mom, find out who you are. Your b/f needs to do the same. Once you've both established yourselves outside of Mom and Dad, then maybe you two can start looking.
2. Education is important. Get it now!!! Many people do the "Oh I'll go back after yada yada yada" and few can do it. Work, Husband, kids, family...all will take precedence later. get your education now!
3. An internship is a smart idea actually. No, you wont make as much money. But you will establish some credibility in your field for when you get out of school. "Worked at Wal-mart as a cashier" isn't impressive to anyone. "Worked as an intern with an organization developing yada yada yada", does. Do you want to get out of college making 30K a year, or 60K? Your call.
4. Acceptiing a proposal for marriage, isnt being married. There is no requirement for living together being engaged. If your b/f wants that, let him get out and work a few jobs and put some money away. If you guys are working two jobs and cant afford a place to live, that's maybe saying the lifestyle you like, isn't going to mesh well when you're out on your own.
Best of luck :)
2007-09-06 08:55:51 · answer #1 · answered by Jeff K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money can be very stressful. Many newlyweds live with one person's family for a while until they can get on their feet. Since you are a student, have you looked into married student housing as an option? I'm sure you guys can work things out. Best of luck.
2007-09-06 08:44:12 · answer #2 · answered by leaptad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well. 1st of all think on the future. I know you want to move in with your b/f but if right now its not possible then WAIT. Take care of your college education, of better job opportunities. If the intership your mom is telling you could help on getting a better job in the future then GO FOR IT. If you cant afford to move in together then don't. Save money and by the time you are getting married buy a house. Use the money of your wedding to buy a house and just have a small ceremony. But for right now. Go home make your self a warm bobble bath and relax. Sometimes not doing anything can do a lot more.
Good Luck!
2007-09-06 08:48:33 · answer #3 · answered by crisbi_bb 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
without full time work qualification (and payments) will be an issue for you. you could wait to buy/rent (assuming you can live with your parents/in-laws for a while, which I don't recommend from secondary experience), wait to get married until you're both financially more stable (recommended, but not romantically-ept) or be creative with your financing. Some options here include:
co-signing a loan with one set of parents while having them contribute a percentage of the mortgage monthly and sharing an equivalent equity in the house (so when/if you sold it they would get a return on their money, assuming the house increased in value)
doing the above with a business partner (the more cash/mortgage they contribute, the more equity in the house they get)
searching for properties farther out geographically until the prices/rents are within your means
2007-09-06 08:54:11 · answer #4 · answered by ism 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to get married, you might have to consider moving. The job situation probably won't be changing, and you'll be engaged forever or until one of you gets tired of waiting. Sometimes people have to move for a while to be able to afford things.
2007-09-06 08:45:20 · answer #5 · answered by The Wižard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Techniques To Reverse Carpal Tunnel Syndrome?
2016-05-14 11:23:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you have been going to school for what 5 yrs after high school and you still have two to go for crying out loud what are you studying? Quit school and get a full time job and support yourself already you are an adult figure it out.
2007-09-06 08:45:58 · answer #7 · answered by Belinda 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe you'll just have to sacrifice and commute longer distances. YOu have to weigh the cons against the pros. peace of mind vs. living with mom...
2007-09-06 08:45:31 · answer #8 · answered by Gods Child fo Life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋