hi i am 41 and my wife has gone of sex since she has had are baby 10 months ago,she knows how much i love sex?

Question

she said i can have a lover but iam shy can anybody help me.

Answer 1

please please be patient. Your Wife's 'body' is telling her she doesn't need to reproduce. All her energies are needed to care for the baby she has. She is also tired. physically and emotionally.
It isn't a permanent condition. My husbands reaction to my lack of sex drive at this vulnerable time ultimately wrecked our marriage. I remember wishing my husband would take a lover but what i really wanted was for him to understand and take the pressure off me until I was ready.

As it was I forced myself to 'endure' sex when I wasn't turned on or interested, and that made it something I dreaded. my sex drive did return but I was always worried about failing again.

please give her this time, it wont be long in the great scheme of your lives together.

Answer 2

I wish I had money for everytime I see a similar question. You at 41 should be mature and responsible enough to see that your wife is probably tired and exhausted from having the baby is she breast feeding this can sometimes make a difference.

Make your wife feel special again and I can't for a minute think that she would encourage you to have a lover. She must be really down did she have a normal birth or was there complications. If there was she probably hasn't had time to recover.

You may go out to work but time at home alone with such a young baby is demanding. I personally had problems at the birth of my child and it took a year before I was remotely interested in sex. I was tired and worn out put on Iron tablets because I lost so much blood.

There are other ways of showing your wife you love her and you don't have to have full blown sex. Bring back the gentle romance -oops sorry your a man this may go over your head.

Is there a relative who could babysit one day or night so you could take your wife out let her be a person in her own right not just babies mum. Please take it slowly and be patient she does still love you its just baby needs that bit more of her at the moment. Just go to bed and hug her don't expect it to go further take your time. You've got your lady now enjoy your baby and her and make the most of the special times you have.

Answer 3

She might be experiencing a type of post partum depression and not even realize it. Also, it takes a woman's body a bit of time to regain shape. Maybe that does not bother you, but it could bother her. She could also be exhausted from the baby. And, as mentioned, she very well could just use a doctor's visit, because a sexless marriage is not a true marriage. It is one of the greatest and most sincere bonds between a man and wife. That she would even suggest that you have a lover is a red flag that something much deeper is at work here.

Answer 4

This is normal. You will just have to be patient and occupy yourself in the bathroom. Satisfy yourself. Don't get a lover. Your wife is not there to attend to your sexual needs 24/7 for the rest of her life. You have a baby together. She is probably exhausted and tired and needs your support, not you acting like a spoilt child looking for sex. Give your wife some support, help her with the baby, be a good and kind loving husband. Stop pestering her, give her some space.

Answer 5

Oh please don't do it. Its the end of your relationship if you do even with your wife's consent. She is probably exhausted, hormonal, and not a little overwhelmed - she probably doesn't feel the least bit sexy! Can I suggest that you do lots of cuddliing, baby there too and stroking her back etc but with no pressure to go any further. Tell her she is looking great, doing a fab job with the baby and how much you admire her etc. Don't mention sex for a few weeks - she will be far more responsive if she doesn't feel she has to. Also, make sure you take her out one night even for a couple of hours baby-free to remind you both of your friendship. In terms of your needs, take a lot of long showers.

Answer 6

having a baby really changes the body , i think you may be a little selfish (sorry) but have you thought that may be your wife is suffering from post natal depression its one of the first signs. not only that but having a baby only 10 months ago , well she's most likely to be very tired as well ,i kone for me that sex was the last thing on my mind , all i could think about was washing bottles & clothes & feeds ,and a bath if if im lucky. if your wife says that you can have a fling then there is something seriously wrong , it sounds like depression , and if you love your wife and baby then you will help her through it .

Answer 7

Your wife has lost her sex drive and her mind after having a baby. No woman in her right mind will encourage her husband to have lover, and this goes across all countries and cultures and races.

Some women feel a decline in their sex drive post pregnancy, have you wife see her ob/gyn. S/he can prescribes medication to fix it.

Answer 8

God, why are there SO many women like this...then they come on here crying because hubby is cheating!?!?!?!

I don't know...I don't get it.

My man and I do it 3-4 times a week...sometimes MORE. AND we have six...yes that is right SIX kids.

Ladies...you gotta give it up and keep it interesting if you want the marriage to work!!

I guess that if she's whining about being tired you could take the baby for a walk and let her get a nap.

Answer 9

Your wife is one of a kind...and I don't mean that in a good way. What kind of woman would allow their husband to have a lover, regardless of the situation? It's not unusual for a woman to lose her sex drive after she gives birth. That compiled with her being 41 years old makes it worse. She needs to talk to her doctor, and you need to support her and keep it in your pants.

Answer 10

To be completely precise, maximum prefer to attend until 18 to 22 weeks. My surgeon, even with the shown fact that likes to attend until 27 to 32 weeks to tell for particular, that way there is unquestionably no mistake interior the concern.