I apologize in advance if this ends up being my own little whine-fest.
My husband quit his job about 5 months ago. Since then, he has not attempted to look for a job at all. He does nothing except sleep in until about noon, watch tv, play video games, hang out with his friends, and occasionally work on a "project" (he likes to make furniture). He is seriously driving me crazy. I do all the housewrok, childcare (we have two children), yardwork, cooking, etc. and he just sits on his butt all day. We are living off of his inheritance, which is supposed to be our nest egg. I am very unhappy with that situation as well.
Everytime I try to gently (or not so gently) nudge him into looking for a job, it ends up in a HUGE fight. I really don't think he is depressed- just lazy. Does anyone have any ideas how to get him off the couch and back to work before I kill him? Thanks.
2007-09-06 08:15:36 · 16 answers · asked by Elaine 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He needs a shocking wake up call. Show him how much a divorce lawyer costs and be sure to add in child support too. Let him know that if it comes to that he will be working a lot more then the 8 hours a day you want from him now--even if he does have an inheritance cause you'll get half of that too for the kids. He has a family for god's sake! He doesn't have the option of being lazy and you have every right to point that out to him. If he refuses to work that is just one more burden on you and the only sensible thing for you to do is get rid of the dead weight. Put it to him that way and that should motivate him.
2007-09-06 08:28:38 · answer #1 · answered by mafiosu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation and I moved out and said I want a divorce. A year later here I am happy and with someone who treats me right. It may hard on the kids, but you need to find what makes u happy. Cancel the internet, tv, games
move on with yourself, or you are going to be very unhappy for the rest of your life. Life is too short. Move on
2007-09-06 15:38:42 · answer #2 · answered by sarah s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just being lazy cause he can. He has money to live off of and is not in need for it so he is probably thinking why bother. Maybe you should go get a job and let him take care of the kids?
2007-09-06 15:27:44 · answer #3 · answered by xyz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you get to "retire" for the next 6 months and he can have a job, pay the bills and look after the kids and then tell you that he's been doing his 50% in the marriage up until now.
2007-09-06 18:24:07 · answer #4 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I would ask him what his plan is for going back to work & then remind him that the money will eventually run out. If that doesn't work, then I would continue on with your life as if he wasn't there. Don't cook for him, don't clean up after him, don't ask for his help. If something around the house needs his attention, hire someone else & then explain to him that you need him for more than laying around playing games.
2007-09-06 15:32:03 · answer #5 · answered by Sia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The oversleeping suggests to me depression but maybe its just lazyness cus hes got the extra money around. You need to talk to him and tell him all this. Go to marraige counseling so the counselor can figure out which it is in this case im sure the counselor will suggest to him it is much wiser to save the extra money you two have. Either way it should help. Good luck.
2007-09-06 15:23:04 · answer #6 · answered by youcandoit 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would tell him that you are going back to work to support your family and he can take over your job with the house and children. Tell him you are going to start looking for a new job in 1 week......
see what happens then!
good luck!
2007-09-06 15:34:05 · answer #7 · answered by ncbound 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is not gentle about this..."Hey buddy, get a job and quit being a lazy loser or I'm out of here. You are jeopardizing the future of this family!"
2007-09-06 15:41:40 · answer #8 · answered by Phoebe Finch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start with counseling. It seems to be more than just this as a problem. This is likely a mask for something esle. Anyway if that doesn't work take his toys away from him. Put them in storage and hold them hostage.
2007-09-06 15:24:42 · answer #9 · answered by sugarcarat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is suffering from depression, addiction, or both. The bad news is you cannot fix or change him.
You need get him to see a professional if it is depression, or get him to an AA meeting if it is an addiction problem.
Whatever you do, do not kill him. Than his problem becomes your problem. If he refuses to get help, then you may need to separate or divorce him.
You are a beautiful woman and you deserve better than this. I will pray for you.
2007-09-06 15:22:27 · answer #10 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋