do you consider it cheating....?

Question

To watch porno, or go to strip joints, if your wife doesn't know about it?

I mean if you masturbate to porno everyday and you have your favorite one,or pair of girlies getting each other off, and you only have sex with your wife maybe 1-2 times every two weeks?
Would do you think? Just curious?

Answer 1

Well, I don't know that it's really cheating.

Sounds like there are other problems there. Maybe there is an 'emotional' cheat going on?

If a man would rather watch porn and masturbate than have sex with his wife.......that's just a problem.

I'd suggest counseling.

Answer 2

No, watching porno or going to strip joints is not cheating. He might be cheating at the strip joints, because sometimes you can have the strippers go beyond dancing - they will often use their hands on a guy as part of a lap dance. Many of them will be glad to take money for different acts either in the parking lot or somewhere else.

He may be bored with the sex you two are having. If you're not in great shape, maybe start working out and become more sexually appealing. Maybe, without making an issue out of it, start dressing up nicer/sexier. Or, if there are certain acts that you haven't been willing to perform, maybe start to broaden your horizons a bit and take a few for the team.

Failing that, you could have a serious, non-judgmental, conversation with him. When you are in bed, tell him how attracted you are to him and how much you want him. Tell him you're more excited by him now that when you first met. Do things to him. Work him up. Get some toys/lotions/oils, whatever. Watch porn with him - let anything go.

The one thing you don't want to do is make it about who is right and who is wrong. If you start out with the "what's wrong with you? why do you watch porn instead of doing me?" Then he's automatically defensive - he has to say "nothing's wrong with me" or "nothing's wrong" and the only answer he could give you is some explanation about how he's bored or you're not doing the right things, or that he doesn't know, and all those answers are just going to make you upset and the whole issue will spiral out of control.

Here's an idea - rent a porno yourself, and let him catch you watching it at home while you are doing things to yourself. Then tell him that you just got interested in it and it was exciting, and now you're all worked up and want him to give you the real thing...... then you two can watch movies together, and that will usually result in the two of you doing it.

Answer 3

I would say the two of you aren't communicating. I don't consider it cheating if they are watching porno or going to strip joints. My boyfriend and I watch porn together. I do, however, have one policy on strip joints. "You can go all you want, it isn't my thing. Don't touch the girls and Don't expect me to finish a job someone else started." I guess I figure if I can't get it started I'm not about to finish it. As long as the person is not touching another person it isn't cheating. (Unless it is a completely emotional affair, not the case here.) Everyone has a different sex drive, different turn ons, different turn offs, different fantasies, etc. Maybe he needs it more, If your not satisfied, speak up and initiate it. Run around naked in front of him. Do something to let him know you want him! Maybe you've rejected him, now he is afraid to ask. The main thing is to communicate, don't be afraid to talk about what you both want and need.

Answer 4

It is definitely not cheating, but what I don't get is why would he masturbate so much if his wife is there for him. He might have issues. You should talk to him and ask him why. I mean to go to a strip club once in a while is fine, to watch port every day and by yourself, that's not normal. Why don't you guys watch it together?

Answer 5

I don't see the harm in porn. But strip joints is pushing it buddy!

Why don't you talk to your wife/husband about this? I mean, ask her/him why she doesn't want to have sex. Maybe she'll be into the whole porno thing to. If not, you could just ask her what she wants you to do to her in bed...start making your sex life interesting again and you wont have to do those things.

Both of you need to be open with each other and start being more opend minded about sex.

Answer 6

Sounds like the priorities are a little messed up. If you are having sex 1-2 times every 2 weeks...and the the rest of the time is devoted to porn for satisfaction, then yes, it is wrong. It shouldn't hinder the relationship the two of you share...and it obviously is if there is more time spent masturbating then making love to your partner.

Answer 7

its not cheating on you...but how you feel about it should be important also..if your the wife why don't you just join in with him a few times or every now and then and maybe he will see things differently...and if he don't get some videos with guys that are huge and let him catch you watching them too....that is if you are wanting him to stop..and if he goes to the strip clubs...tell him that fine and you let him know you and your girl friends are also going out while he is out...just work it so he gets the same feeling you are having too....good luck

Answer 8

It isn't technically cheating but it does suggest problems. A man's wife is the one who he should be into and wanting to be with. He should be more into his wife than porno's and strip clubs. So it's very wrong.

Answer 9

I wouldnt call it cheating, but it is dishonest and it is not good. I think that is a good reason to leave someone or get marriage counsling, if he would rather pleasure himself then have you do it, there is definitly something wrong. And if he doesnt tell you about it, or if he lies when you ask him about it then technically it is a form of cheating, because he had to lie or hide it from you, because he knew it would make you unhappy and him knowing that it makes you unhappy and still doing I would say in a way it is kinda cheating.

Good Luck!

Answer 10

I don't think it's cheating, but there is something wrong when he is doing it behind your back. Talk to him about it and let him know how it makes you feel. Maybe you can watch with him and that might satisfy him. You need to let each other know what you want and expect out of your sex life, otherwise this will continue without your knowledge.