My husband and I have been married for 3 years now. We known each other for 4 years. I have a 3 year old daughter with him. In the past 3 years, we have fought about many things. And half of the time, he would leave the house for days, weeks..or how ever long it takes for me to go find him/ call him, begs him to come home. I told him many times that he can't walk away from his problems. If he's mad he can just ignore me or stay in the basement. I don't like it when he leave my daughter and I at home like that. He's mad at me doesn't mean he has to ignore her too. He has promise this and that but when we argue he would forget it. I love him very much and I know he loves me too. Good husband, good father..but that's one thing about him that I hate. I know he isn't doing anything bad when he leaves besides work and stay with his dad but still..he can't just keeps walking out on us when we fight, right? this time I'm not calling or ask him to come home.Bc he would walks all over me again
2007-09-06 06:27:14 · 10 answers · asked by Ur B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sweet Pea I think that is the only way he knows how to deal with hurt. It is not right because you two are as one. I would consider a mediator, like some sort of counseling. problems are something you work through and he has to understand that. Leaving really only fuels the problem. If you are able to talk it out that is the best thing. I would suggest if you both ever reconcile, be slow to speak and quick to listen. That way he doesn't have an excuse to leave. God Bless!
2007-09-06 06:39:07 · answer #1 · answered by b n real 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's not a good husband or father if he can just walk out like that. I'm sure your daughter is asking where her father is.
You say he's gone for days, weeks, or however long it takes you to find him but you said he's at his Dad's? It sounds like something else might be going on that you aren't ready to accept.
Good for you this time for not chasing him this time. Hope it all works out for the best.
2007-09-06 13:42:15 · answer #2 · answered by rcButterfly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In cases like this, it is important for you to keep your word. If you warned him about this behavior and the consequences he'll have then keep your word, prove to him that you will not allow him to step all over you again. This will give credibility to what you say and do. Now keep in mind that the communication skills between you need reinforcement. When you are having a discussion, try and approach each other in a different way, sit down and review your points of view and his. Take time to listen and take time to talk, this prevents you both from saying impulsive comments that one of you will later regret. Best of luck.
2007-09-06 13:41:44 · answer #3 · answered by onlinetherapist.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of being a good spouse is "fighting fair" -- negotiating difference in good faith and abiding by the terms of the compromise. If he can't or won't negotiate fairly on his own, then get someone you both trust to act as referree ... or maybe act as goalie and keep kicking the jerk back into play! Or possible negotiate via written word rather than in person. But by hook or by crook this fellow HAS to engage and deal with the inevitable conflicts -- or move in with Dad PERMANANTLY.
2007-09-06 13:49:11 · answer #4 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to beg him to come home, do you really want him there? Your husband sounds like an immature child who runs away instead of dealing with his problems.
Your daughter deserves a daddy who will be there for her, even if he's pissed off at you.
If you stop begging him and let him figure out you can do fine without him there, perhaps he'll feel less pressured and stop hightailing it whenever there's a fight or crisis. Good luck.
2007-09-06 13:37:44 · answer #5 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're right: he will walk all over you if you beg him to come home again. He knows EXACTLY what he is doing. He knows that all he has to do is stay away for awhile, then he won't have to admit to anything, won't have to take responsibility for what he did, and everything will smooth over. PLUS, he get's a little vacation. It's called passive aggressive behavior. Read up on it.
And don't call him to come home. Change the locks, and let him beg you to get in.
Check out w w w . passiveaggressive . homestead . com and read the archives
2007-09-06 13:36:04 · answer #6 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My advice to you is that you need to really explaing to him how you feel. If the problem persists then you don't need him. You should not always have to track him down and beg you, next time as hard as it may be let him go. If he comes back then he loves you if not leave him. He has a kid to also worry about. His problem does not leave whenever he leaves...
Tell him you are not going to chase him next time and don't he will learn.
2007-09-06 13:40:07 · answer #7 · answered by Nally25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you just described is NOT a good hubbyor father. He sounds like he has mental issues to me to leave home for days and weeks at a time. You need to re-evalaute your marriage because couples ALWAYS have issues and misunderstandings. How long does he plan on running away? How long are you going to ALLOW him to just come and go when he pleases?
2007-09-06 13:35:41 · answer #8 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds as though your husband needs to grow up. He is being a pouty baby to get his way. I know it will be hard, but try not to call or ask him to come home....let him know he can't continue treating you this way.
If you don't break him from this bad habit it will continue until you don't care anymore....maybe that's what it would take.
2007-09-06 13:38:56 · answer #9 · answered by vixen312 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce the jerk.
2007-09-06 13:33:37 · answer #10 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋