As you know summers coming to a end, which means I have to go back to uni for my second year and Its worrying me and eating me up inside. i am admitting my first year there was not the best, I was a loner, not good at making friends and didnt really make a effort, I only had one friend there, who I've known for a while and I used to be dependant on him a lot but the way he became once he got to uni, created a rift between us, he would emotionally manipulate me with his so called new friends by using my lack of social skills like a weapon against me by not inviting me to places, using me for cash, boasting to our mates back home that I dont have any friends accept him, never pull girls like he does etc.
now, I know that I should meet new people but still keep it cool with him, becasue if I dont, it will be my downfall like last year, but Im scared to meet new people because Im worried everyone will be the same.
So I want to change, but im afraid, what should I do?
2007-09-06 06:25:53 · 19 answers · asked by confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I did do well in my course last year, but i fealt really lonely and powerless and thinking that everyones enjoying uni and have lots of friends accept me and im working really hard in my course, maybe even overdoing it.
2007-09-06 06:28:43 · update #1
if you live in a dorm you will meet tons of people....i did. i loved the dorms. lived there for 4 years. you'll make friends, don't worry!!
2007-09-06 06:33:03 · answer #1 · answered by Kelly H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you can make friends by forming a study group for one of your classes.
Another good way to make friends is to join an activity. Pick something you are really interested in (whether art, music, sports, etc.), join a club for it, and you'll meet people that you have a lot in common with.
The good thing about starting a new school year is that you don't have to be the inhibited person that you were last year. You can be anyone you want to be without worrying what other people will think. So right off the bat, try knocking on people's doors and approaching them for conversations.
Honestly, I don't think you should stay friends with that guy because a true friend wouldn't use you like that. It's okay to remain civil to one another, but anyone who would treat you like that isn't worth hanging out with in my opinion.
2007-09-06 13:45:44 · answer #2 · answered by Fonzieo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let this guy, or anyone, keep you from getting your degree. If you want to meet people, but have a hard time, try joining a club. Every department seems to have one. Or, if you have time, do some volunteer work in your college community. You'll be doing a good deed, and you'll be around caring people. If it's really causing you anxiety, then see a counselor. There are probably free counseling services at school. If it helps, understand that you're not alone. College is a big transition, and a lot of people have a hard time adjusting; especially the first year.
2007-09-06 13:33:13 · answer #3 · answered by justme 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fear will hold you back. Think about what is the worst that could happen to you if you go through college without any friends? At least you're working towards your future (financially) so get that out of the way and maybe friends will follow. On your free time, find something new or interesting to do. If you are not sure what you may enjoy...try everything! Make a list of things you want to do for fun and then tackle them, one by one and be a friend to yourself! People will see a positive change in you and once you start looking at yourself positively, they will too and they will want to be your friend. And please, stay away from this friend that brings you down.
2007-09-06 13:40:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ive been to uni for only a year and i havent met any close friends yet, i will admit im part of the bible fellowship group and i met many many new friends. but there was never that best friend. just today as i was walking i saw people talking to each other, i saw people laughing, sitting in a group, playing pool in the game room, i felt lonely and wished i had many friends, but i only come here mainly for one thing, and thats getting these classes out the way and working towards my future, i dont really concentrate on people that much. if you want to change then stop worrying about other people you can't be afraid forever, dont judge everyone becuase they are not the same,you will have to learn that some people turn out to be a total fake, its part of life.
2007-09-06 14:42:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. I too had a hard time making friends and felt socially inept at college. No friends, and very lonely. Maybe get some counselling or take a night school interest course that helps people with confidence, self esteem, social etiquette, etc. Join a club of interest to you. You will meet like minded people. Good Luck and hang in there. You won't be in school for ever.
2007-09-06 13:38:27 · answer #6 · answered by Nicole 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go back. The second year is always easier than the first since you know what to expect. Join some student activities. Meet some people. Not everyone is the same.
2007-09-06 13:34:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same spot as you. I can never find any friends. the people I like enough to want to make friends with don't seem to be interested enough in me.
I have family but you can't drag them around campus now can you.
I think that joining some clubs might do the trick. Class time is hard to make friends because you are there to lean not chat. but clubs are more people friendly and you would have more chat time. you have to force yourself to be overly friendly sometimes just to get a friend. and don't be too picky. good luck, I only with I would listen to my own advise.
2007-09-06 14:25:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't make many friends at my university either but I thought it was because I didn't live on campus an commuting makes it harder to meet people...is that your case? If you have any special interests/hobbies your university might offer clubs in those subjects. That's a good way to meet like-minded people. Try to dump the "friend" who mooches off you for money and belittles you publicly.
2007-09-06 13:33:40 · answer #9 · answered by Katja P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Join some organizations at school. Maybe a social or business fraternity. Or get involved with a sport. Even just start going to the gym to lift weights, or play basketball. You will start enjoying things more.
2007-09-06 13:33:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmm me thinks you should ditch him.. and try joining a club at university during freshers week. hes just a user whos bringing you down... hes not a friend.. if you join a club u are bound to meet some new people.. you need some friends to grow your confidence and all he is doing is bringing you down and making you feel low. hes not worth it. so go to the university freshers club fair and look for a hobby/ exercise club that tickles your fancy and try it. Trust me you will meet shy people just like you! xx
2007-09-06 13:37:26 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋