Are you married to or in a relationship with someone whom you don't really know as well as you think you do?

Question

If you read the news story that broke today about the man who, for the last 20 years or so, assumed the identity of ex major league baseball star, Bill Henry, then you know what I'm talking about. The man not only fooled his wife for the entire amount of time he's known her, but has even fooled the media, which is reporting his death as that of the former pitcher when it isn't true. The man's wife is distraught and says she feels as if she's been married to a stranger all these years. Another good example of this would be someone like the BK serial killer. Anyway, I guess it just goes to show that a person can appear to be one person on the outside and somebody else on the inside. So, with that thought in mind, how well do you REALLY know your mate? Might wanna give it some thought...

Answer 1

You never really know, I guess. That's what faith is all about.

Answer 2

You don't really know. I had dated a man for 2 years and he was so nice, we only had one argument in the whole 2 years and it was minor. I just knew that this man would make the perfect husband, boy was I mislead. The day after we got married he started ordering me around like I was his personal servant, he called me names and was mentally and verbally abusive. I try to think about it all the time if there were signs that I missed while we were dating and couldn't think of any. He cheated on me and did drugs during the married. I was pregnant and the doctor had ordered me on bed rest and he got mad and let me do it for one day, I never seen it coming. He was sweet and nice to everybody that knew us but not to me. He had me believing that everything was my fault when really it was his fault. He was always telling me to get out of his house when the house was in both our names I kept trying to make it work but I was the only one. Finally someone came along and told me I didn't have to be treated like that and after a while I left. I look back and still try to look for signs I missed and there really wasn't none that I could think of.

Answer 3

I was married to a man with severe emotional problems. This side of him didn't show until AFTER we'd been married for two months. We'd spent a lot of time together previous to the marriage over a six months time period. Apparently his need to regress didn't surface until he was able to depend on me in a secure situation. He had a complete physical and emotional breakdown five months after our marriage. It took a year of my homecare for him to recover and I ran a boarding stable plus worked to support both of us during that time. When he was well enough to work again he left me and I never heard from him again until five years later when divorce papers came in the mail. The point of this little story is that NO you never really know someone completely!

Answer 4

Yes Ive been married to someone I really don't know before.Its too disgusting to think that it was a real trap.I just known him about six months when we ve been forced married in their embassy.Too late that I really don't know that man have previous marriages which he don't have children at all.But that man have a child now to me and his other women's are trying to haunt me just to give him up.Ive been fooled that marriage is not legalized.But he supported the child anyway.
It is better to hire a private detective and know the background first before you decide to marry.Don't be like me who became fooled by this kind of person.

Answer 5

I think relationships would be boring if we "completely knew" the other person. That would mean the other person wasn't growing, presenting new challenges, new ideas, new themes on life.

Of course, its terrible if your significant other hides things from you that hurt you or will harm you, but that's not really about "knowing" the person. You can't "know" something about someone that they hide.

There are many things I don't know about my fiance. Things he hasn't yet shared, for whatever reason, as well as the person he will grow to be as we age together. But I'm glad I don't fully know him, because he will be an interesting spouse our entire lives.

Answer 6

The Chinese have a saying of " We know peoples faces and not their hearts and that is the gospel truth. There is a lot we can learn from what you wrote and hope other people can be more judicious in decisions they make regarding relationships and other areas of life were trust is a very vital pillar.

Answer 7

Hmmm, I'd like to say I know my husband inside and out, but I guess you really never can tell. So far he hasn't done anything that would lead me to believe that he was some other kind of person and hopefully he never will.

Answer 8

Nope. My wife and I have been married for nearly 9 years. We tell each other everything. We are completely open about our feelings and about how we spend our money and time. She is my best friend. Our marriage just gets better and better year after year.

Answer 9

yes that does happen i had cousin with same problem. she thought her man was good and stuff and found out after his death early i may add he was into porn, prostitues and stuff she did't have clue and he had girls all over michigan. sad but she hates him today still hes out in the garage (his ashes) this day yep it does happen not to alot but enough sad

Answer 10

I guess you never REALLY know until something comes to light that they've done that you would have never thought possible. You gotta have faith and trust however.

Answer 11

With all the sicko's running around these days, you can't trust anyone. -That is why you have to do a background check on them, not to mention having to check their credit scores. LOL